For years, Link had been able to sleep very well every
night at Kokiri Forest. But at least for tonight, this just wasn't the case.
Minutes ago, Link was able to escape a horrific nightmare, in which Link was to
be crushed to the might of his good friend Saria. He walked back and forth
around the house, trying to drop the subject, but it just kept coming back to
haunt him. He kept thinking, what if he had the same dream again? Only this time
with either Malon, Ruto, or maybe even Princess Zelda! Link eventually paced
himself to sleep finally, unaware of the danger he was about to face...
When Link opened his eyes, he no longer found himself sitting on his bed at home, but he looked around to discover himself on Lon Lon Ranch. As Link was walking around, however, he began to get this collapsed feeling. He didn't think Lon Lon Ranch was this big last time he visited, since he wasn't making much distance to the horse grounds. He tried not to think that he was shrunk again, as he had severely hoped that the nightmare would never bring up its ugly head again.
Suddenly he starts to hear this odd thundering sound, and the ground was slightly shaking a little too. He felt it coming from behind, so he turned around and simply fell at the sight he saw. It was Epona, and she was coming towards Link at lightning speeds. But to make matters worse, this Epona was incredibly huge! Link tried to draw his sword and shield in an attempt to slow the horse down, but his tools were gone. Link then ducked down to the ground and braced for impact, hoping it was just another nightmare.
All of a sudden, however, all the excessive noise had stopped. Link slowly opened his eyes and lifted himself up off the ground. When he looked around, he saw the same gigantic Lon Lon Ranch, and the same gigantic Epona. Apparently, Epona had stopped! Link was about to breathe a sigh of relief when all of a sudden the rider of Epona had leapt off. Link quickly recognized the rider to be... Malon! Except for two things, she looked a little older, like she was about 15 years old to Link's best guess. The other difference was... she was huge!
"Hey there, little hero!" Malon said to Link.
Just like in the Saria nightmare, Link turned around and attempted to run for cover, but this would prove to be a worthless attempt, as he was heading towards Malon at eye level. There was no way now he could escape her tight, firm grip.
"Oh no, not again..." Link muttered to himself.
"Teeheehee! You're going to love what I've got in store for you!" Malon said.
With that, the two headed for Malon's room. As Link was being carried there, all he could assume was that the nightmare had returned.
Just like the last dream, Link was standing on the floor,
wondering what the giant Malon was going to do with him. Malon took off her
boots and stood at full height in front of Link. Link felt crushed at his size,
he wasn't even half the size of Malon's big toe!
"Go on, hero, just smell my toes!" Malon said.
"I knew this was coming..." Link said to himself.
Link once again felt embarrassed of having to do a little girl's work, even if it's smelling her toes. Link did a little licking on them also, just to satisfy her whole. When he finally finished, Malon spoke once again.
"Teeheehee! That was good! That's why you're the hero, right?" she said.
"Uh, yeah." This was all Link could say.
"Now, I need to do some work on the ranch. Why don't you climb into my boot and enjoy the ride?" Malon said.
Without hesitation, knowing that he'd be crushed for denying even one order from her, Link jumped into Malon's right boot. Malon put her boots and headed for the ranch, leaving Link in an airless space.
Link was really in trouble now, as without his tools, he wouldn't be able to break out of Malon's boot. He was probably going to suffocate inside. Link decided to climb on top of Malon's gigantic toes, in order to avoid being crushed by them. As he got up there, he noticed a little hole on the top of the shoe. To a regular-sized person, this was considered a regular peephole, but to someone extremely small like Link, it was his chance at an escape route.
"(sigh) Ladies these days don't take care of their footwear." Link said.
Link got to the top of Malon's foot and started to charge towards the hole. But all of a sudden, Malon's foot was rocking everywhere and all over the place. Link got the impression that she was moving again. He was knocked off of her foot and was back at the front of the boot, just inches away from Malon's toes. Link suddenly felt the shaking stop, and the toes seemed to fade away from Link. The shoe was open again, and Link was about to climb out, but the shoe was turned upside-down, leavign Link to fall out of the shoe and miles towards his unhappy landing.
Luckily, though, Malon caught the tiny Kokiri hero. When Link looked around Malon, the two were not back in Malon's room, or even on the ranch. Instead, they were inside the barn, where all the Lon Lon Cows stay.
"Hey hero, while I was on the ranch, I came up with something else fun to do with you!" Malon said, keeping a tight grip on Link.
"And what's that?" Link said.
Malon suddenly reached for a halfway-full bottle of Lon Lon Milk and dropped Link inside. Link was now swimming in a sea of milk as he was trapped inside the bottle. Link began to get a bad feeling.
"Well, it was nice knowing you, hero!" Malon said, with her face planted against the bottle.
"Oh no..." Link said.
Those were apparently the hero's last words, as Malon tilted the bottle back towards her mouth, and started to drink all the milk. As Link was now inside her mouth, he was attempting to outswim the milk, but the force of the milk proved this attempt worthless. It was like being stuck to a waterfall, with no one to help. When Link and the milk were past the tongue, they were both heading towards the great dark abyss down below. Link had already guessed that this was Malon's stomach. Link closed his eyes, and awaited his death.
Link expected total blackness for the rest of his life, but when he opened his eyes again, he was... home. Home. It was another nightmare. He could tell because of the heavy sweat falling from his forehead. His heart was beating real fast also. Once again, he stepped outside, and it indeed was Kokiri Forest. The giant Malon was only a nightmare, just like what he went through with the giant Saria. The morning sun was about to rise, which disappointed Link completely, as he had gone through his first sleepless night in years.