Red Haired Girl 2: Setting Things Right

(Ex)

NOTE from Cubed: Make sure you read the first Red Haired Girl before reading this story, otherwise none of this will make sense to you!

Chapter 1: Business As Usual

It’s an ordinary day in Hyrule.  The sun rises and dawn is still in the early stages when the rooster crows.  This is of no concern to a certain hylian who sees the merits in sleeping late but still has a direct bearing on his beauty rest.  He can’t sleep through the bird’s noise, which was the design behind it, and groggily wakes up.

“Morning already?”  Link mumbles, rolling over in bed.  “Ugh.”  He buries his face in his pillow.  “Uh uh.”

“Come on, get up.”  Cajoles a voice from outside.

The Hero of Time humors the voice a moment.  He flips back over and sits erect.  “I’m up.”  He says.

“Good.  Now come outside.  Time to work.”

Link looks out the open window.  He sees Malon waiting outside.  A few seconds later finds him flopped back into the mattress.  “No.”  He hides under the covers again pretending daylight can’t find him.

Malon can plainly see that being nice isn’t going to work.  But when you’re twenty-seven feet two and one-quarter inches tall you have a lot of options.  “Don’t make me come in there after you!”  She chides.  Her threat has no effect so after giving him a moment to surrender she reaches into the window.  She tugs the bed frame closer with one hand and lifts the mattress free of the posts with the other, tilting him slightly.  Then she rolls him off the cushion onto the floor and confiscates it, withdrawing her hand from the room.

“Hey!”  Link exclaims groggily.  “Give that back!”

“Nothin’ doin’ hon.”  The redhead replies, giggling.  “It’s time to work!”

The disoriented lad glares out the window at his insistent alarm clock and yawns.  “Give that back!”  He demands again of the face filling the portal.

“Come and get it lazy boy!”  Malon goads, standing up.  “I’ll let you have it if you can take it from me!”  Now her white print dress is all that can be seen.

Link walks out of the lodging in short order.  Taking one look up at his bed and his friend holding it hostage he comes to one conclusion.  “It’s too early for this…”  He says, shaking his head.  “Just give me the bed back, please?”

The enormous farm girl appears to consider it.  But she’s feeling playful so that doesn’t reflect well upon the odds of Link getting any more rest.  “I did say I’d let you have it…but you have to take it from me.”  She reminds him.

The former champion puts a hand to his forehead and closes his eyes.  “You know I can’t reach that high.”  He says, not amused.  “Put it where I can get it.”

“You’re a spoilt sport.”  Malon pouts.  “Fine, here it is.”  She sets the mattress on the roof of the house.  “Go on, you can have it.”

Link looks up at his tormentor.  She’s still smiling and that seems suspicious but he can plainly see the mattress atop the dwelling at waist level for her.  It’s better than before since there was no way he was going to get it down from above her head.  “Thank you.”  He says, pulling out his hookshot.  She just giggles mischievously in return and something tells him that isn’t good but he pays commonsense no mind.  So it’s a surprise when he’s on the rooftop grabbing hold of the gateway to dreamland and he’s on the ground again.  “Hey!”

Malon laughs.  “Is somethin’ wrong, Fairy Boy?”

Link is about to tell the titaness exactly what his problem is but decides against it.  “She knows, I know she does.”  He says nothing and grapples onto the shingles again.  As soon as he touches his target he’s gently hoisted up and set back on the ground.  He gives the oversize prankster the best glare he can muster but remains silent.

“I ain’t done nothin’ to you…”  She says innocently.  “Where are you goin’?”

Of course Link doesn’t reply but it’s apparent soon enough.  He scales the far side of the house and appears on the roof next to the mattress again, this time watching her closely.  She looks at him regarding her so seriously and has a hard time remaining composed.

“I ain’t done nothin’…”  The colossal country girl reiterates.  It’s a trial not to pick him up again but she finds the willpower.  “Go on ahead, I won’t bother you…”  She sounds defeated but raises her hands in acquiescence.

The savior of Hyrule is still watching her shrewdly but she isn’t doing anything, true to her word.  He feints a move toward the bed but Malon doesn’t react at all.  Finding it safe to continue he grabs the centerpiece of the guest room with one hand and turns around to drag it away.  “It’s like pulling up a stubborn bomb flower…”  Link notes to himself.  “It can’t be this heavy.”  He looks back at the mattress as he tears a sizable chunk of roofing loose with his feet pulling on the mattress.  “I should’ve known…”  He mumbles, kicking the loose shingles to the ground.

Malon is preoccupied with something on the other side of the farm.  She’s trying hard not to meet his eyes though a smile is still evident on her face.  “Hmm?”  She asks, pretending not to have been paying attention.  “You say somethin’?

“You weren’t going to let me go back to sleep were you?”

“Nope.”  She admits, removing her hand from the bed.  “And now you done gone and tore a hole in my roof too?”  She shakes her head.  “You got work to do.”

“I didn’t- you…I give up.”

In the throne room of Hyrule Castle Zelda sits, wistfully staring out of the window bathed in sunlight.  An expression of sadness creases her features and she sighs.  Her ever so attentive attendant can’t help but wonder why.

“Is there something wrong, princess?”  Impa asks, approaching Zelda.

The lone figurehead doesn’t respond.  She gazes up at the sky as though asking a question.  Finding the response unsatisfactory she bows her head and shakes it imperceptibly.  “He’s not going to visit today either.”  She intones to herself.

“I beg your pardon?”  The retainer is upon her now.  “I didn’t quite hear.”

“It’s nothing.”  Her majesty says hastily, keeping her face turned away.  “Do not worry yourself Impa.”

“You cannot deceive me, princess.”  The shadow sage admonishes gently.  “I’ve known you too long.”  She takes the chin of her charge in her hand and slowly brings the eyes of the monarch to meet her own.  “Something disquiets you.  It has for the last few nights past.  I want to know what.”

“You are right.”  Zelda concedes.  “You always are.”  She sighs again.

“What is it?”

“It’s been over two weeks.”  The girl says plainly.

“Hmm?  I’m not sure I understand.”

“It’s been over two weeks since I’ve seen Link.  Do you think he’s still angry at me?”

“Oh.”  Impa realizes, thinking back.  “I don’t know.  He didn’t seem angry to me.  Not really.  Malon was incensed enough for the both of them…”  Zelda cringes remembering her first meeting.  “…but he didn’t seem to be holding ill will towards you.”

“Then why is he avoiding me?”

“Perhaps you are using the wrong term.  I’m sure that he is quite busy working.  He has a farm to maintain.”  Impa chuckles.  “He’s a ranchman now, remember?”

“Of course.  How silly of me.  It’s just that I miss him.”

“I understand.  Would you like me to summon him?”

“I would like to see him but making him come to visit isn’t fair.  I wouldn’t want to vex him again, not after last time.”

“Ah, yes.  Malon is quite vocal about us treating him fairly as I remember.”

“Don’t remind me…”  Zelda groans.  “That whole marriage incident at the lake, brr.  I don’t relish the thought of being yelled at again.”

“Mayhap you should invite them both.”  Impa suggests.  “To show you have no hard feelings about what happened.”

“I just might though.”  The princess thinks to herself.  “No one has the right to chastise me, especially some bumpkin farm girl…”

“It would be a good time to get off to a better start with her as well.  The olive branch would be a great thing to extend.”

“You’re right.”  The acting queen looks around.  “The ceilings are high enough…why not?”  She turns back to her attendant.  “Inform Link that he is cordially invited to have lunch at the castle and that he may bring a guest.  Let’s see if we can do it tomorrow.”

“Of course, princess.”  The shadow sage leaves immediately.

On the farm Link is going through his most difficult trial yet.  Having fed the animals and cleaned out the pens in addition to milking the cows he’s accustomed to a break.  Imagine his surprise when instead of taking a siesta he’s back on the roof in the act of replacing shingles.

“Go on.”  Malon encourages.  “Get goin’.”

“I haven’t done this type of thing before.”  Link says sheepishly.  “I’m a hero, not a carpenter.”

“It won’t take you too long.”  She says in a persuasive voice.  “You’ve got a hammer and nails, get to it.”

“You could call one of Hyrule’s actual carpenters.”  Link suggests.  “You really don’t want me to do this.”

“I know, but hiring those lazy bums’ll take way too long.  By the time they get here and get started you could’ve been done.”

“But what if I put a hole-”

“I sure hope you don’t.”  Malon sits down next to the house.  “I’ll watch.”

Link sighs, there’s no arguing with her.  “I’d rather fight; that’s what I’m good at.”  He murmurs, looking at the hammer and nails a time before picking them up.  “Here goes…”  He’s just about to swing when he hears her laugh from behind him.  “What now?” 

“Who me?”  His supervisor tries to straighten her expression.  “Nothing…”

“I believe that.”  Link says sarcastically.  “Come on.”

“Well, I do have one hint.”  The redhead confesses.  “You might want to turn the hammer the other way unless you’re aimin’ to tear a hole in the roof for real.  I sure hope you got the nails point down too.”

The novice craftsman looks at his backwards arrangement puzzled.  “If I don’t want to make a hole in the roof turn the hammer this way but put the nails in point down and cause a dozen leaks?”  He shakes his head slowly and switches their directions.

“Had ‘em both turned around.”  She says.  “Glad I said somethin’.”

“Thanks.”  Link says slowly.  “Anyway…” He raises the hammer and brings it down to affix the first shingle.  Never having exceptional hand-eye coordination and missing his fairy Navi is not a good combination.  He doesn’t hit his intended mark and a word popped out of his mouth that you certainly don’t learn in Kokiri forest.

“Oh, potty mouth Fairy Boy!”  Malon scolds, fishing about for something caught in her dress.  Finding it she picks it up gingerly.  “And you dropped this.”  She hands Link back his tool.

“I didn’t notice.”  The maintenance man replies with the injured digit in his mouth.  “Wish I had lost it.”  He murmurs with a grimace.

“Well get back to work.”  The gargantuan girl grins.  “That’ll teach you to watch your step next time.”

Link bites his tongue since he would only be encouraging her.  He lifts the hammer and after some tentative taps gets a decent rhythm going.  Half a dozen shingles later he feels like a decent roofer slamming the nails down with two good hits.  He’s almost enjoying himself until he makes another slip up nearly breaking his right index finger.  The amateur carpenter bellows and loses his patience on the spot.

“Hey!”  Malon says lightly.  “Watch what you’re doing!”  She chides as the nail driver goes airborne in her direction again.  “Don’t over react now!”  She turns serious and stands.  “Hey!”

Link has blown his stack and withdrawn something from his nigh bottomless bag.  The Megaton Hammer, which he plans to use to drive the nail he missed apparently.  Malon is trying to stand and reach him at the same time and it’s a failure.  When the irked champion raises the heavy weapon above his head to strike though he overbalances backward and takes a tumble with the slope of the roof.  He falls onto his supervisor upside down who catches him clumsily and falls back down to a sitting position.  He does not look pleased.

“You’re a handyman as well?”  A voice says.  “A jack of all trades aren’t you?”  The voice laughs at this conclusion.

Link’s face becomes even less friendly at being seen like this while Malon perks up.  “It’s been a while.”  She says to the visitor.  “What brings you around here?”

The shadow sage looks at the two of them and smiles at their positions.  “Ah, I am on official business you see.”  She hands topsy-turvy Link a sealed letter.

The hero takes a moment to read it as Malon flips him over.  “An invitation to the castle?”  He says after finishing.  “Tomorrow?”

Impa nods.  “And you may bring a guest.  Anyone of your choosing.”  She gives Malon an especially long look.

“Well I suppose I could give you the day off.”  Malon considers, not noting Impa’s hint.  “It’s been a while since you stopped by there.”

“Are you available?”  The sheikah asks bluntly.  “The princess desires your company as well.”

“Me?”  Malon looks startled half to death.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes.  She would like to speak with you both over tea tomorrow.”

“No, I don’t think so.”  Link says flatly.  “I’ve got work to do.”

“I’ll get Talon’s lazy behind to do it for once.”  Malon replies.  “He sure could use the exercise but…”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  The hero says dejectedly.  “I wouldn’t want to have another scene…”  He reflects on her telling him of her first visit to the market town.

“It’s not going to be like before.”  Impa says quickly.  “The citizens will be alerted, streets cleared, everything necessary for both of you to come to the castle.”

Link has his suspicions but his companion seems taken with the idea.  Before he can speak up again she rubs her chin with her free hand.  “Ever since I was real young I always wanted to visit the castle…”  She says wistfully.

 “I’m not so sure-”  He’s cut off abruptly.

Malon reaches down and covers Link’s face and upper body with one hand, pulling him from the conversation like a small child.  “We’ll think about it.”  She says courteously.  “I’m touched she’s extendin’ her hospitality.”

Impa smirks inwardly at Malon’s reaction to Link’s apparent objections.  “I understand your apprehension; all either of us can ask is that you consider the offer.”  She turns to leave.  “If you could be in attendance at around 3:30 or so that would be appreciated.  I hope to see you tomorrow.”  The white haired lady walks off.

“You really want to go?”  Link asks after Impa leaves.  “You and Zelda didn’t get off to the best start…”

“That’s kinda why I want to go.”  The huge hylian affirms.  “There’s no call for either of us to be mad if we can be friends.”

“Yeah…”  Link concurs.  “But that may not be as easy as it sounds.”

“You let me worry about that.  I’m not that hard to get along with.”  The ponderous girl stands.  “Now are you going to get back up there and finish what you started?”

The temporary maintenance man almost pales at the query.  “I was hoping she’d forgotten.”

Back in the castle Impa has just returned from her errand.  Entering the throne room she says nothing but the hint of a smile is traced on her features.

“So how did it go?”  Zelda asks eagerly.  “Shall I have guests tomorrow?”

“A more than fair chance my princess.”  Impa replies.  “Malon is quite enthusiastic despite Link’s misgivings.”  She giggles, not something she does often.

“Link didn’t like the idea?”  The regent seems puzzled.  “I thought it would be perfect…”

“He was referring to his companion’s first visit to Hyrule Castletown since her change.  We should be better prepared this time.”

“That’s right!”  Zelda appears frantic.  “Preparations!  We’ll need utensils made, guards scheduled, and a good amount of tea…oh dear.”

“We’ll take care of it.”  Impa says calmly.  “We’ve got the resources.  So leave the security to me and you worry about the luncheon, okay?”

“Right.”  The princess composes herself but still appears troubled.  “Impa?”  She asks meekly.

“Yes?”

“Do you think this will work?”

“Of course.  She’s easy going enough.  The question is are you ready for this?”

“I’ve never done anything like this before…”  Zelda contemplates.  “I’m not that good at apologies but I mean well and I’ll be darned if I don’t try!”  Gathering her resolve she raises her eyes to meet those of her caretaker.  “I am ready!”  She declares confidently.

“That’s my girl!”

In Zora’s Domain one of the aquatic people isn’t very happy.  In fact she’s sulking as she happens to have taken to doing of late.

“What’s wrong, princess?”  The king of the Zoras asks.  “You’ve been pacing around and looking so sad lately, what is the matter?”

“There’s a man I want and I can’t have him.”  Ruto replies despondently.  “I try so hard…”

“Preposterous!”  The overlord exclaims.  “You can have your pick of any zora in these halls!  There’s not one that wouldn’t be happy to have you I’m sure!”

“I don’t want one of them…”

“Did you meet one of the zora from far away?  I know there’s a hall outside Hyrule somewhere, I’ve just never been there.”

“No…”  The water sage sighs.  “I want the one I gave the Zora’s Sapphire to.”

“The young hero?  But he’s human, you can’t expect…”  Alas his words don’t seem to be of much cheer to her.  It probably wouldn’t do to mention that Link had already given the spiritual stone of water back either so he tries a different tactic.  “Well why haven’t you got him yet?”

“What?”  Ruto is taken by surprise by the question.  “You just said-”

“You have always been one to follow your own way.”  The king interrupts.  “You were a stubborn, headstrong child and I imagine you still are.  With all that in mind why don’t I have a new son-in-law?”

“This girl won’t let us be together.”  Ruto says softly.  “She said some terrible things and…”  She trails off, sobbing at the memory.

“I may not completely support what you’re trying to do but I do fully support your finding happiness.  If you believe that the hylian can make you happy then pursue him with all your might.”

“Really?”  The water dwelling lass sounds hopeful.

“Don’t let some girl stop you!  Win his affections with your charms; all’s fair in love and war!  Let no one and nothing stand in your way!”

“Thanks Daddy, I knew you’d understand!”  Ruto slips off to her quarters happily.

“I actually don’t.”  The king thinks to himself.  “I just hope you stay out of trouble.”

At Lon Lon Ranch night has fallen and the chores for the night are complete.

“Hey.”  Link asks, hopping the fence to the horse enclosure.  “About tomorrow, what made you want to go?”

Malon misses his query at first.  She is standing in the center of the corral humming a familiar tune and can’t hear him.  It takes several insistent tugs on her dress to get her attention and even then she doesn’t seem to be very focused.  “Hmm?”  She looks down at the hero.  “You need somethin’?”

“Why did you decide you want to go to the castle?”  Link asks again.  “The curiosity is getting to me.”

“Oh, that?”  Malon smiles and sits down with her arms wrapped around her knees.  “I’m not sure but I guess it’s guilt.”  She stares back up at the sky.

“Guilt?”  The kokiri native raises an eyebrow.  “What did you do?”

The outsized country gal laughs.  “I suppose I think I played the bully that time around.”  She looks over at Link.  “You remember any of what happened that day at the lake?”

“Not really.”  He admits.  “Ruto was trying to marry me and you stopped it.  Don’t know much else…”

“Didn’t think so.”  The redhead looks at the ground.  “I said some things I shouldn’t have.  I tol’ each of ‘em off in turn but thinkin’ about it I didn’t have the right to judge them.”

“But if you hadn’t stepped in I’d have zora cousins…”  The swordsman says slowly.

“Don’t get me wrong now, hon.  I meant what I said to them but I want to set things right.  I had no business treating them that way but they sure shouldn’t have stood idly by either.”

“Okay.  I didn’t understand for a minute.  If you think you can sew things up with the princess then go right ahead.  I won’t try to stop you.”  Link sighs.  “Not like I could anyway…”

Malon giggles and pushes him gently to one side with a free hand.  “I’d listen to you.  You don’t have to wrestle with me to get what you want.”

“Thank goodness.”  He sounds relieved.  “It’s about time for me to go to bed so could you grab my mattress off the roof where you left it?”

“I could…”  His huge hostess giggles mischievously.  “…or not.”

“I did what you said!  I replaced the shingles I tore, come on please?”

“I don’t feel like it.”  She replies lazily.

“That isn’t fair.  You put it up there, get it down!”  Link whines.

Malon ignores him and pulls up her tarp-sized quilt.  “Nope.”  She says, stretching out.  “You can keep me company if you want though.”

“I guess I will, why not?”  He decides as she rolls over on her side and pulls him close to her.  “You beat the floor.”  He chuckles.

“I’d have got it down but I really didn’t want to…”  She whispers.  “I will if you got to have it though.”

“No, it’s okay.  You can be pretty persuasive.”  Link smiles.  “Even when you’re being silly.”

“Mmm, good.”  She pulls the cover over them both.  “Night Fairy Boy.”

Chapter 2: The Life of the Party

Early morning in Hyrule Castletown very few people are awake.  The sun has yet to appear and only a few intrepid merchants are setting up shop at this time of day.  It’s now that Impa makes her move.  She’s got a plan to implement and this is the time to do it.

“All I have to do is post these signs to let everyone know…”  The sheikah thinks.  “And there won’t be any problems.”  Armed with notices that warn everyone of a special event starting at around 3:15 requiring the main street be cleared she tacks them up without delay.  “After this I have to find a few guards to post along this route to keep order and that’ll be that.”

The morning star just begins to peek over the eastern edge of the kingdom.  By this time the shadow sage has accomplished her objective and is returning to the castle to wake the princess.  Early risers are puzzled at the posted fliers in her wake but that is to be expected.  It’s that they be heeded is what’s important.

“Now that phase one is done let’s move to phase two.”

On Hyrule’s most notable farm Malon has just awakened on cue with the rooster.  Rubbing her eyes and sitting up she still feels sleepy.  She is entirely too comfortable on the ground but today it’s something she’s thankful for.

“Morning already?”  The girl groans.  “Darn…”  She looks down at the person whose face rests on her collarbone.  “I’m with you today.”  She mumbles at Link.  “I’m sleepin’ in.”  So the phenomenally tall farm girl decides to abandon consciousness for a less aware pursuit but something nags at her.  It keeps her from returning to slumber readily.

“Am I forgetting something?”  Malon wonders to herself.  “What could it be?”  Then it  hits her like a bolt from the blue.  “I’m visitin’ the princess today.”  She remembers.  “I cain’t go back to bed, I’ve got things to do.”

“Mm?”  Link murmurs.  “I’ll get right on it…”

The redhead sits up.  “What?  You sayin’ somethin’?”

“Just wait a second, I’ll do it in a minute…”

She shakes her head and stands.  “Sleep talking, silly boy.”  She walks over to the guesthouse and sets Link down on the bed.  The mattress is still on the roof but he doesn’t seem to mind.  “You’ve got the day off so one of us’ll sleep in today.”  She smiles softly and lays the blanket gently over top of the sleeping hero.  “But that means I’ve got to get Talon up…”  She sighs.  “Now I wish I had some dynamite…”

The rooster crows a third time then quits.  The younger proprietor of the ranch walks over to the main house and gives the bird a wry grin.  “You could try harder you know.”  She kids.  “Outside his window every mornin’ and he hasn’t seen dawn since we hired Ingo.”  The male chicken seems offended and stalks into the henhouse after being insulted.  “You know I’m right.”

Disregarding the ineffective bird she turns her attention to the house.  Banging on the door yields no results.  Neither does tapping on the window.  Tapping on the wall of his bedroom does little else but knock down the pictures hanging up in there.  The ensuing clatter didn’t seem to bother him in the least bit but one of the frames photos lands on his headboard and smacks him one squarely in the face.

“What in tarnation…”  Talon mumbles  “Doggone Poes throwin’ things again…”  He says, tossing the picture aside.  “Should just quit it…”  He pulls a pillow over his head and goes back to sleep.

This is too much for Malon who is watching the whole thing from outside.  “If you don’t get up right this instant I’ma make you wish ghosts were your biggest problem!”  She declares loudly.  “Get your lazy behind out that bed!”

Her father wakes up and listens to the tirade.  After deciding it may be best to listen to her advice he walks outside.  “For cryin’ out loud honey do you have to be so…loud about it?”

His daughter laughs.  “I guess so if you ain’t gonna listen no other way.”

The head rancher looks around.  “Now I sure enough don’t see what you need me for at this time of day…”

“Sure you do.  Somebody’s got to do the morning chores.  I gave Link the day off so that means you’re the one takin’ care of things around here.”  Malon explains.

Talon is about to debate the whole thing.  Seeing as he hasn’t seen sunrise since he can say he’s had help around the place he isn’t too happy about being up right now.  But looking up at her expectant face he can’t bring himself to say no.  “If you’d have told me somethin’ bout this I coulda went to bed early or somethin’…”  He grumbles.  His scarlet-haired progeny rolls her eyes and he can see she doesn’t want to hear that.

“You’re in bed before sunset every night and nap on and off during the day.  Come on now, do something around here every now and again!”

The farmer doesn’t reply; she’s made a good point.  He goes to start work; after all the sooner he starts the sooner he can go back to bed.

“Okay, now that I got Talon up I need to do something about me.  I can’t visit the princess smelling like a farm.  I need to get cleaned up.”  Malon thinks to herself.

Fortunately that is not a difficult task.  Since it’s still early yet she can make a trip to Lake Hylia to make herself presentable and avoid the tourists and fishermen.  Grabbing her hygiene supplies she gets ready to go.  An old bath towel serves as a washrag while several clean blankets sewn together serves as a towel.  She had also contrived a bar of soap from “several” bars compressed together.  With these things in hand she sets out for Lake Hylia.  At twenty-seven feet you get most places in Hyrule in a little while with a trot so she’s there in no time.  She undresses after a quick glance around and folds her clothes in a pile then wades into the water.  Of course you can’t bathe in a public place without anyone seeing.  And someone is in the area, Malon just doesn’t know it yet but right now that is of little consequence.

“What am I going to do with all this hair?”  At her new height it extends down her back and floats in the water in disarray.  “How am I supposed to keep up with it all?”

The immense lady doesn’t puzzle over it long though.  Time is of the essence and she gets to scrubbing herself from top to bottom.  After all she doesn’t have all day.

In the castle activity is everywhere as the royal staff assembles before the princess in preparation of the big event.  Every servant in the palace is in the throne room lined up like soldiers awaiting commands and after a quick head count she’s ready to give them.

“Good morning!”  Zelda begins enthusiastically.  “You’ve been gathered here because we have a VERY special occasion to plan today.  So I’m going to need all of your help.”

“What is it?”  The head chef asks.  “I can’t understand what you need us all here for; I mean even the castle blacksmith is here!”

The princess smiles an almost impish smile.  “You’ll be working directly with him.  You two have the most important tasks of all.”

The professional food preparer looks taken aback at her statement.  “Alright, what is it?”

“An acquaintance of mine is to visit the castle for the first time.  I want to make it special for her.  The reason all of you are here is because we need to make some distinctly unique accommodations for her since she’s well over twenty feet tall.”

The room falls silent.  Side conversations come to a halt as well and all eyes come to the front of the room at the statement.  Many of the faces of the castle keepers are agape at the announcement also and the princess notes this with a pleased smile.

“I can tell by your reactions that some of you have actually seen her.  You all understand why we have to work together.  This is quite the undertaking but I am confident we can do this.”

“Now I know you must have a plan.”  The lead cook says.  “Otherwise we wouldn’t all be here.  How are we going to do this?”

Zelda doesn’t miss a beat and starts walking down the line handing out sheets of parchment.  After she’s done she proceeds back to the center of the room.  She can see everyone is still reading but clears her throat.

“Those are to-do lists.  I’ve managed to break the event up into tasks by group.  Tailors and seamstresses work on napkins and placemats.  They have to match.  Maids, butlers and cooks I handed you the menu so please make extra.  As for you smiths and groundskeepers that was the list of flatware and utensils.  Make sure they shine.  You all have your orders.  We’ve got an engagement at 3:30 let’s be ready!”

Everyone files out quickly with practiced precision.  Keep in mind that impromptu parties are their specialty.  All but one person hustles to work.

“Princess, you didn’t hand me a list…”  Her master food preparer mentions.  “What do you need me to do?”

“You get to oversee it all.”  Zelda replies.  “Make sure it’s all made correctly and to scale.  It’s our engagement.”

“But…”

“Everyone’s ready to answer to you so go!”  She smiles.  “Show me how it’s done.”

“But I only saw her for a short time.  I can’t possibly…”  He thinks to himself.  He turns back to her with thoughts on his mind and words on his lips and speaks.  “Don’t worry, I won’t disappoint you.”

In Lake Hylia for lack of a better basin to bathe in a certain someone has just warmed up to the water.  About halfway through washing herself Malon turns to move her hair out of the way for the fifth time and sighs.  It’s a wet mess since it’s so long now and is drifting in the water distracting her.  Sweeping the ruby locks aside yet again she’s back to trying to figure what to do with it.

“What am I going to do with all this?”  She mumbles, holding a sopping wet handful of strands in one hand.  “It’s just too much to have hanging every which way…”  She starts running soapy fingers through it.  “May as well wash it too though.”

Using her hands and soap she starts washing her hair.  After getting her scalp on the sudsy side she closes her eyes to keep the soap out.  Working up a lather in not quite warm water is somewhat a task and requires a bit of concentration.  So when something crept across the surface of the water to investigate the source of the lake’s murkiness Malon was oblivious.  However something fuzzy brushing up against her did make her start a bit and she pulled her hair to the side yet another time to stop it from doing that when it happened again

“What in- Aaaahhhh!”  Turning her head and opening one eye to get a glimpse of what the offender would possibly be she’s scared silly to find several red eyes meeting her own and shouts fit to echo across the lake as she recoils away from the Blue Tektite.  She’s by no means calm and when the insect bursts into flame a scant instant later her screams redouble and rise in pitch leaving the sound of her voice bouncing off both shores as she nearly leaps out of her skin and clear of the water like an enormous dolphin to splash back down and leave a new high tide mark in the sand.

“Malon, are you alright?”  Link calls from a few yards off, bow in hand.  “Malon!”  He sighs, receiving no response from the bubbles rising where she fell.  “This is what I get, trying to help.”  He mutters.  “Here I was thinking I could hit the bug from here and she not notice and I nearly burn her with-“

Malon bursts out of the water sputtering and coughing.  She’s wiping her soapy eyes and trying to get her bearings again.  “I shoulda been payin’ more attention that’s for sure.”  She remarks to herself, coughing up water.  “It coulda bit me…”

“Malon!  Are you alright?”  Link calls again.  “Malon!”

The immense girl in question is still trying to knock the lake out of her ears and can’t quite hear him.  But her vision is clearing rapidly and from the corner of her eye she can see something waving.  Pivoting to look at it some water runs out of her eardrums and she can hear it too.  “…Link?”  She asks uncertainly.

“Are you hurt?  Did it touch you?”  The hero asks, worried.  “I should’ve-”

“Eeeeek!”  The redhead screeches for the third time in half as many minutes.  “Link!”

“What’s-”

“TURN AROUND!”  She commands shrilly, belatedly covering herself.  “Can’t a girl get any privacy?”

Link looks as chagrined as can be at her inquiry and turns a swift about face on his heel immediately.  “Sorry…”  He mumbles.

Malon has a small smirk at his sudden attitude change in attitude but remains annoyed.  “You can’t fool me!”

“I’m trying to trick you!”  Link yells back.  She glares at him and even with his back turned he can feel it burn between his shoulder blades.  “I mean I’m not trying to trick you!”  He stammers.

“I know why you’re here…oh it makes me so mad…”

“What?  Why?”  The green clad hylian thinks for a split second.  “No, it’s not like that!”

“You’re lucky I’m not dressed…”  She says, sliding into deeper water.  “I’d give you such a smack…”

“Malon it isn’t what you think I swear!”

“I’d have never thought it of you...”

“This isn’t what it looks like!”

“…”

“You’ve got to believe me!”

The unearthly tall undressed girl seems to consider his words.  She looks at him with bow in hand and back to what happened and puts it together.  “Doesn’t he know any better?”  She wonders to herself.  “I guess he had good intentions but what was he thinking?”  She had been in the water up to her shoulders most of the time so there hadn’t been much to argue in the way of indecency even given her current stature and lack of a curtain.  Even when she had nearly leapt from the lake a wall of water akin to a waterspout had accompanied her and a splash that would count as a record high water mark in the almanac for the year had proceeded after.  But it was the principle of the thing.

“I was just trying to look out for you.”  Link says by way of explanation.  “I know you hate monsters and didn’t want anyone to see you so…”  He trails off.

Malon giggles at his reasoning.  “You couldn’ta found a way to do that without peepin’?”

“But I wasn’t!” 

She laughs a bit more.  “How do I know?”

“I said I was sorry!  I didn’t mean to!”

The cherry-topped one considers his response before replying.  “Link isn’t much of a kidder.”  She thinks to herself.  “And he’s really a pretty decent guy.  I don’t really think he’s got it in him to be that rude on purpose so…”  She tones down her laughter and sighs.  “I guess you’re alright.” She says at length.  “You don’t seem like the immature type even though you looked it just now…”

“How many times do I have to say-oh.”  Link pauses.  “Uh, thanks.”

“But stay turned around while I dry off!”  Malon commands.  Her friend doesn’t say anything to that.  He simply pulls his kokiri hat down over his face and remains with his back turned to her and sits down.

After assuring herself that he was going to remain stationary she climbs out of the water.  Drying off is a short process as the chill that comes with the towel arrives fast.  Scarcely glancing around to see the tektites stay put and Link obediently remain turned away she has her undergarments on in a flash.  She’s just about to put her dress back on when something occurs to her.

“I may be all cleaned up but this dress is about as grimy as it can get.”  She says to herself, picking up the garment.  “I sure can’t show up to the castle lookin’ like a big ole dingy hillbilly.  I may be from the country but that’s no cause not to be presentable.”  She dunks it in lake water and proceeds to wash it by hand.  “Course no clothesline in the kingdom is gonna support this thing.  I’ll just have to leave it out for a while when I get back home and make do with it air drying.”

“Can I turn around now?”  Link asks.  “Are you done yet?”

“Almost.”  Malon pulls the dress out of the water and wrings it out by hand.  “You can turn around if you want.”

“Okay.”  The hero stands and turns around, straightening his hat and does a double take.

“Hm?”  Malon queries, shaking her head vigorously to dry her hair.  “What is it, hon?”

Link doesn’t reply for a minute.  He’s transfixed staring at his companion with her hair waving with the breeze standing there in her wet underclothes with her dress over one shoulder framed by the rising sun and shimmering ever so slightly.  For a short time all he can do for s short time is look up, gape and gulp.  “Ah…”  He whispers. 

 “Didn’t hear you jus’ now…”  She replies softly.  “Is somethin’ the matter?”

“Umm…”  He’s still staring at her moist clothes sticking tightly to her shining skin.  The outline of her figure is something that’s making him more than a little uncomfortable given she just yelled at him but he’s still staring at her.  He turns back around before she can see him blush.  “You’re not completely dressed.”  He sits back down, cheeks aflame and an image of her in damp lacy underwear burned onto his eyelids.  “I can wait.”

“I sure don’t want to.”  Malon says, looking around.  “It’ll take all day to dry and I don’t fancy spendin’ my mornin’ here.”

“Ah, but-”

“Plus this isn’t quite public attire.  And this lake is surely a place people visit.  I’d best hurry home.”

“You’re going to go through the field like that?”

“I don’ have much choice.  I’ll be on the move at least.”  She hurries off.  Reluctantly Link saddles up and rides after her.

Sure enough she’s on the move.  She’s one of the fastest things on the plains at the moment.  Around the halfway point they cross paths with the crazily fast running guy and even he respects her pace. 

“What the heck?”  The one with the bunny hood says, turning his head.  “Wow…fast and-” 

Since he’s diverted by the slightly out of the ordinary lady running by he slams into a tree for all his gawking because he certainly stopped paying attention to where he was running.  This makes Malon the fastest thing moving seeing as the current record holder is imprinted into a tree trunk and she can’t help but laugh in spite of it.  Link sighs as he passes by the unconscious sprinter and spurs Epona on to keep up as they head home.

In Hyrule Castle one man is making another circuit around the building.  He’s been hopping for the last hour and with good reason.  If he’s the chief coordinator for this special event he’s got to make sure it all goes perfectly.  It wouldn’t do to have the guest of honor malcontent so he’s making sure it’s all proportioned correctly.  He’s given the entire castle staff an idea of the size of the larger-than-life visitor but he has to constantly check and be consistent.  Right now he’s headed back to a place he knows well, the kitchen.

Inside it’s bustling with activity.  Every person present hard at work on something teamed together with someone else.  Our lead cook is just inspecting them all when he finds one person who isn’t quite following instructions.  Not being the patient type and with a lot of pressure on him he isn’t too thrilled with the occurrence.

“You!”  The soux chef yells.  “I told you to use this!”

“Chef?”  The baker asks unsteadily.

“You are not following my instructions!  Are you trying to choke her?!”

“No.  But if I use that pot to make a scone in the thing will turn out the size of a dining table.”

“Are you making croutons?”  The chef yells.  “We already have someone doing that.  Make that thing more than a mouthful!”

“I’ve seen her…”  The younger cook says.  “She’s big but not that big.”

“I have seen her and I know!  Do not question me!”

“I don’t think-”

“I did not ask you to think!”  The head chef bursts out.  “This is my production; do as I say!”

“Yes sir.”  The pastry cook says reluctantly.

“That’s more like it!”  The banquet master continues his circuit around his domain.  “Let’s do this right people!”

“If you want something she can rest her head on you’re on the right track…”  The cook mutters starting over on his scone.

On the farm Link is doing next to nothing.  Having agreed to take some time off Malon will not allow him to help Talon with the chores and having also agreed he wouldn’t go anywhere until after the engagement he’s kind of idle and just averting his eyes for the most part.  She’s sitting nearby with her dress hanging over the fence in her now dry underclothes watching her father work.  Both are hanging in the area of the fence and you would think very little of note save Malon’s state of undress and Link’s newfound interest in horses.  But our hero is startled out of his equine study as his hostess springs up, having found something wrong.

“Too much, too fast.”  The left-handed hero thinks, turning to see her dart over to her father.  “How can she move so quickly?”  He wonders, tearing his eyes from her again to stare into the corral.  “I mean seriously…”

Talon is almost unaware of his daughter’s motion.  It’s when her shadow falls over him he looks over and up at her.  “Is something wrong, pumpkin?”  He asks, half full bag of garbage in hand as he steps out of the chicken enclosure.

“Mmmhmm.”  His colossal child replies.  “I don’t think you’re finished in there.”

“Wha?  I just got done.”  The head rancher looks confused.  “What are you talking about?”

Malon’s eyes narrow.  “Ain’t no way you’re done yet.  It’s ALWAYS a full sack of mess in there!”

“Must not have been this time…”

She takes her displeased expression a bit further.  “Not one time in the last seven years has it been different.  Even when Fairy Boy does it, it’s the same thing.  You’re not gonna stand here and do a half-baked job of somethin’ while I’m watchin’!”

Now Talon’s frowning.  “I’m about sure I didn’t wake up to deal with you prancin’ round half-dressed talkin’ down to me when I taught you how this is all done!”

“So I’m supposed to let you half-do somethin’ just’ cause you’re half-sleep?  That ain’t the way you taught me!”

“How much more of this you wanna see me put up with?  You got me up early in the mornin’ on my ranch, standin’ around barely decent, tellin’ ME what to do!”

“Pa, just listen a minute-”

“I ain’t got to listen!  This height thing must have you way too big for your britches!  If you don’t like the way I did it then I’ll stop.  Givin’ me all that lip, why don’t you do it?”

“Malon, it’s fine.”  Link says, getting up off his fencepost.  “I’ll finish up.”

“No one asked you.”  She says with her voice carefully level.  “Sit back down.”

“It’s nothing really.  I just don’t want to see-”

“Shush!”  Malon yells brusquely.  Link is taken aback and sits down sheepishly.  “I’m tryin’ to talk.”  She resumes calmly once again.

“You had better not raise your voice to me.”  Talon mutters.  “Better know better than that…”

His daughter’s expression goes from irritated to irate and she glares down at her father who glares right back.  “You listen to me.”

“Don’t you take that tone-”

Malon stomps down hard.  Implanting her foot a few inches into the ground the resounding boom startles the horses and birds in the vicinity flee while a hush falls over the area.  Link is thoroughly rattled and Talon has fallen on his behind since he was so close to the shockwave.  The vacuum of noise carries a bit more so she takes a deep breath to calm herself and addresses her father.

“If you do not go back in there and clean that henhouse right like you made me do that’s fine.”  Her voice neither wavers nor spikes in volume.  “But if you don’t I promise you I’ll wake you every morning to do it since you’re so sure that’s right.  I think that’s fair, don’t you?”  Talon knows better than to answer that.  He trudges back into the chicken coop to resume work.

Out in the castle courtyard our even overseer is running around like a chicken with his head cut off.  After getting the gardeners to cut the ivy from the archway and get them to get started on removing the top of the thresholds just to let Malon feel at home and minimize the risk of collateral damage he’s pacing a circle outside until he remembers what he needs to do.  Doubling back to the rear of the castle he walks past the stables to the on site smithy.  Of course every smith is busy one on each piece of silverware.  So the projects are a simple spoon, knife and fork.  However they did not consult him about the dimensions and his entry into the sweltering workshop makes for a red-hot discrepancy since what he sees doesn’t match what he imagined.

“What is this?!”  The head chef demands of the ironworkers.  “This is wrong!”  But his words are lost in the inferno workplace given how much clanging is going on.  It isn’t until he spends a minute and forty-two seconds yelling the word ‘wrong’ at the top of his lungs while waving his arms like a demented scarecrow in a tornado that he gets the attention of the head smith.

The master of the forge walks over to the food preparer and bends down to offer an ear.  The cook wastes no time in yelling his discontent into his new listener.  The lead smith then stands and looks at his workers.  Some look up and he gives them a hand signal.  They nod and continue working without pause.  Now the cook is indignant but this is when the blacksmith gestures they walk outside to better talk.  As soon as they are outside the cook is yelling like it’s going out of style.

“Did you not hear?”  The chef demands.  “I said all of you stop!  Desist!  Do you not know what that means?!”

“Listen-”

“This is MY event!  We do thing MY way!  Can you not follow directions?”

“I brought you out here to talk.  So-”

“I did not come here to be told how to run my event by some hammer slinging neanderthal-”

The smith puts a hand to his forehead and sighs.  “That’s enough.”

“Enough of what?  Since you have yet to take a single order, that goes for you and the rest of your recalcitrant forgemonkeys-”

“Shut up.”  The caveman clan leader says flatly.

“You are under direct orders from the crown princess of Hyrule to listen to me!”

“Shut up or I will find a hot pair of forge tongs to shut you up.”

The impatient culinary artist turns as red as an apple at that comment. His eyes are bugging out and there is a vein bulging on his head but he is silent.  The smith smiles and tries to speak again.

“Listen.  Maybe you don’t know that much about iron.  Matter of fact I bet the only time you’ve dealt with it is flipping burgers.”  The high-class cook is nearly purple at that jab so the grin of the castle metal master goes up a few watts.  “But iron doesn’t stretch. It isn’t magical.  And it takes time to do.  A process.  So you coming in as late as you did…well wouldn’t get done till late tonight if we started over now.”

“If you had listened this morning when I said make sure it is big enough…”

“I did.  With the measurements you gave she’d need a pitchfork, shovel and some kind of crazy dimensioned knife.  A couple of us have actually seen her for ourselves; we thought we had better ideas.  Forgive me for using my better judgment.”

“I will not!  You were told by Zelda herself to do as I say!”

“I was told to do it right.  Personally I think you were way off.  When Malon gets here I’ll let her be the judge.”

“You will ruin the whole event!”

“Not at all.  I’ve got some spare garden tools if it comes to that and you’re actually right.”  The shocked look on the chef’s face carries no price tag.  “Now run along and pester someone else.  I have work to do.”

On the farm Link is casually leaned against the fence again watching Malon follow after her father like a fussy parent.  After seeing them get into it on how to handle the stables he stepped in finally and got some space between them.  The effect of his reproaching seems to have worn off rather rapidly and she’s over the patriarchs shoulder again.  Link sighs and decides to make another intervention attempt.

“Hey Malon!”  The hero calls out.  “Hey!”

The out-sized overseer of the farm can see Link gesturing to come over so with a glance at today’s help she approaches.  “Can I help you hon?”  She says, standing before the forest native.  He doesn’t say anything at first though his lips seem to be trying to move.  A sudden breeze reminds her of her state of less than dressed and she smiles to herself ever so slightly before placing her hands behind her back and leaning forward to ask him again.  “Fairy Boy, is everything alright?”  By now you’d have thought she wrapped a hand around his neck he’d turned so red and she does giggle at that which gets some kind of noise out of him.  Since he sounds like he’s choking and looks unsteady standing there she bows lower and reaches for him to be sure he doesn’t take a tumble.  The look on her face changing from amused to worried in an instant.

Link had been spending the last few moments gawking at his friend like he’d caught tunnel vision and a fit of paralysis.  He’s worried that she’s going to yell at him for being inappropriate but he could see she got a kick out of teasing him so he was almost in the clear.  That display left him short of breath however and at this proximity his traitorous lungs wouldn’t even gasp as she giggled at his plight, bouncing up and down enough to make his pupils follow like little black ping-pong balls.  As close as she was she could follow his gaze with ease and see what he’s staring at but she looked more concerned about him then where he was looking.  She must have thought him not feeling well as she was reaching for him with both hands on one knee now and pulling him to her to keep him upright.  At her touch the rest of him flushed the color of his oxygen deprived face and Dark Link appeared from nowhere and landed a Fire Arrow dead center on him just to vanish again his skin was so aflame with shame.  With his face resting just below her collarbone he could feel her warmth and the smoothness of her skin.  As she leaned forward to speak in his ear her hair drapes all about him like a vermillion curtain tickling his neck and face.  Feeling her heartbeat beneath his cheek his own pulse starts racing and the hair on his neck has to be crackling with how awkward he feels right now.  Sweat is beading on his face like condensed drops of nervousness and he’s currently hoping that it isn’t too noticeable as he listens to the blood roaring in his ears.  Alas his pointy noise detectors turn on him as she whispers into them.

“You’re burnin’ up…”  She says almost breathlessly.  “Sweatin’ fit to dissolve; you got a fever?”

It’s apparent that Link can’t reply.  In his acute state of embarrassment he has maybe ten seconds left of consciousness without air.  His heart is pounding fit to burst as she pulls him closer to her chest to hold him with one arm like a child then standing and operating a water pump with the other.  By the time she’s got water drawn in a bucket he’s all but gone into shock from the nerves on his skin popping like hot grease and the hair on him standing straight up as though he’s been jolted by a wayward lighting bolt.

She looks down at the hylian lying against her rigidly and turns him to where she can give him some water.  First she dips her fingers in the basin to spread some water on his face.  It almost sizzles off his face is so warm.  She immediately dribbles some into his slightly open mouth for fear of him dehydrating on the spot.  This gets a reaction and he convulses as though making an attempt at sitting up and takes a long wheezing breath.  Malon herself is visibly relieved just to see that and gives him a bit more water before saying something.  “Don’t scare me like that again.”

In her embrace with his face pressed close to her breasts he attempts to find some air.  Opening his mouth slightly he inhales and finds a sliver of oxygen before inadvertently locking his lips to her skin and getting a taste of it trying to fill his lungs and instead filling his mouth.  By now what could have been classified as an asthmatic episode (nevermind Link doesn’t have asthma) more closely resembles respiratory arrest given his insanely high degree of mortification.  She shifts him and is still looking worried like she hadn’t noticed his lips pop off her skin but his ten seconds is up and his vision is fading as expected as she massages cool water onto his face.  Link is content to go comatose when liquid finds its way down his throat and windpipe.  Now he can taste cool water on his tongue as well as her skin and with an overdue inhalation he can smell fresh air tinted with a hint of sweat and soap.  He’s still disoriented but can hear her talking.  He nods stupidly at whatever she says and she puts him down.

“Can you tell me what that was all about?”

Link looks anxious at her query, not like he’d relaxed in the last few minutes but still he fidgets.  “It was an accident…”

“What was?”

“You caught me by surprise.  I’m sorry about that.”

“I’m not going to do anything to you, why are you so sorry?  What did you do?”

He feels a flood of relief at her new question.  If she didn’t notice she wasn’t going to yell at him about it.  She probably was too busy worrying to pay it much mind.  Here he was thinking his mistaken kiss had been noticed.  Of course if it had he’d have some explaining to do but he’ll just let that go.  “I didn’t do anything…except nearly pass out.”

“Why?  I thought we got through all that and you had your fill of faintin’ so often.  Do I look that good?”  She laughs doing a little twirl.  “Link?”

The hero did blank out a moment again.  It’s like he can’t stop looking.  “I don’t know.”  He says finally.  “You may need to be a bit more appropriate to head to the castle though.”

“You don’t like how I look?”  Malon sounds upset.

“I didn’t say that.”  Link replies hurriedly.  “You-”  But she’s giggling again and he can see he’s been tricked.  He starts blushing at her teasing and clams up immediately.

“You may have a point there, Fairy Boy.”  She says, considering his words.  “I sure shouldn’t show up with my hair flying every which way.”  She brushes her hair back over her shoulders and walks over to where her dress is hanging on the fence.  “And maybe a bit more modest; she is the princess after all.”  She smirks and gives Link a wink.  He smiles back sheepishly.  She pulls the garment over her head, wiggling some to get it back on correctly as it was still on the damp side and sticking to her somewhat..  Pulling her sleeves back down to cover her wrists she sighs and gives the kokiri a dissatisfied look.  “Though I’m still not presentable…”

“Not this again…”  Link looks weary all of the sudden.

“Come on, you’re tellin’ me you couldn’t have done better than this?”  Malon is gesturing at her sleeves and a few other places.  Though they are intact the sloppy state of repair they’re in is less than pristine.  Between farm work, squeezing into the barn and getting caught on the fence a few too many times she’s got several new seams on her dress in different places.

“I’m the Hero of Time not a tailor!”  He protests.

“Ain’t sewn together straight, comin’ loose…how am I supposed to go to the castle like this?”

“I did warn you I couldn’t sew right?”

For a moment there is silence.  Malon is staring at her sleeves and other improvised spots of repair on her outfit, Link, then back again while he’s simply standing before her shrugging with palms up. After taking a few more seconds of being fastidious she snorts and rolls her eyes.  “Ain’t too much to be done about it now, right?”

Link smiles.  “I could try to redo it if you like.”

“How nice of you to offer, Fairy Boy.”  She replies, grinning back.  “Now if you suddenly learned to sew maybe I’d take you up on that.”  She looks up at the sky.  “Not much time left before we should go.  I’d be better off fixin’ this windblown hair look of mine before we head out.”

In Hyrule market there is a large crowd forming.  There always is a gathering in the bazaar at mid afternoon.  It’s the best time to shop and as things go today that presents a problem as by royal decree the streets need to be cleared ten minutes ago.  The guards are all out trying to reason with the populace while trying to nudge them out of the way with their shields.  They aren’t having much luck since no one likes being interrupted while they’re shopping but they don’t have much choice.

“Please move, we need this area clear.”  The leader of the guard says for the seventh time.

“I’m shopping!”  One woman snaps.  “You’ll wait until I’m through!”

“I don’t think so, ma’am.”  Another guard says.  “It would be in your best interest to leave.”

“Who are you to tell me what my best interests are, young man?  I came here for groceries and I can’t very well leave without them.”

“We are just trying to keep you safe please understand.”  The leader of the guard says patiently.

“You should really listen to the captain, ma’am.”

“I’ll do no such thing!”  The entire market place gets a little quieter.  “Not without an explanation!”

“Winifred please-”

“That’s Mrs. Johnson to you!”  The infuriated shopper yells.  “I know half of your mothers; how would you like it if I told them how disrespectful you’re being?”

Most of the guards look down or hang their heads in shame.  A lot of them are young and it looks like Mrs. Johnson has met more than a few of them.  It appears as though the royal guard is losing control of the situation rather rapidly.

“Mrs. Johnson I have to insist that you leave.”  The captain tries again being polite.

“Why?”

“My orders were-”

“I do not give a rat’s fanny about your orders!  I’m not moving one step until you give me a reason!  None of us are!”  She gets mumbles of assent from other shoppers and starts smiling a condescending smile.

“Please don’t make us use force.  This is for your own good.”  He advances forward but hears no one walking with him.  “Why’d I get all the new recruits?”  He thinks to himself.  “Jeez…”

“Use force?”  Winifred laughs at the thought.  “What are you going to do, spear us?”

“Men!”  The captain snaps.  “Fall in on my mark!”  He gets a response and can feel them snap to attention.  “Now’s not the time to lose your nerve!  Forward!”  The squad starts marching towards the civilians, Hylian Shields out.

“Touch me with that shield and I’ll slap the taste out of your mouth.”  The captain stops at that declaration.  “Either you speak or we stay, that simple.”

The commanding officer is at a loss.  “This isn’t worth it.”  He thinks to himself while looking back at Winifred.  “She could start a riot; these kids aren’t going to be able to handle that.”

“Did you hear me or are we all enjoying our little get together?”

“Do you really want to know?  Is it the only way we’ll get you to move peacefully?”

“You may as well let us shop if you’re going to act like you can’t hear.”

The castle official ignores that jab and takes a deep breath.  He’s just about to open his mouth when the choice is taken from him.  He’s been back and forth with Mrs. Johnson longer than he thought because the reason just strode into the town square.  So he does the only thing he can at a time like this.

“Make way!”  He yells, moving forward to enforce the boundary.  “Make way!”  The rest of the guards follow suit and the captain notes that Winifred is cooperating along with the rest of them with a smirk.  “Clear the way and stay calm.”

“Yeah, nothing to see here go back to your homes!”  Another enthusiastic guard commands.

“He’s got ‘go back to your homes right’ but ‘nothing to see here’ is not quite true.”  The captain thinks.  “At least we have space for her and order, even if they are just staring.”

Not that there wasn’t anything to stare at.  The Hero of Time just walked into town with a twenty-seven foot country girl trailing behind and she’s got the longest set of pigtails the country has ever seen.  With the two braids reaching her waist Malon may have gotten attention at normal size but with them stretching out a few yards and swaying as she walked she made for a diverting sight to say the least.  Still not used to being the center of attention she looks around then waves shyly at the crowd.  The stunned citizens wave back for the most part, dumbstruck at her just walking through like there’s nothing wrong with the scene.  Before long she’s gone up the castle walkway.  All of the fuss and arguing for an event that lasted all of three minutes.  As the majority of the castle security force files back toward the castle one stays behind.  He has a question.

“Was that enough explanation, Mrs. Johnson?”

Heading through the castle gate Link is talking with the guard while Malon is still looking back toward the market.  Seems some of the crowd has followed her up the path but Hyrule’s finest weren’t letting them get too close.  The whole thing bothers the monumental but still bashful farm girl.

“So we’re clear to walk through?”  Link asks.  “How does Zelda want to do this?”

“Well she just said to have you two walk through.”  The sentry replies, opening the gate.  “What do you want me to say?”

“So what about-”

“That big turnout for lil ole me?”  The redhead says aloud, still awestruck.

“You’re hardly little, pardon me for saying miss.”  The guard pipes up.

“Can’t say I didn’t warn you.”  Link chuckles.  “How’d it feel?”

“Like I thought being on stage would be like.  I was real nervous.”

“You did fine.”

“What is important is that you made it on time.  The princess is waiting so I suggest you go before you’re late.”

“Okay but what about-”

“Alright.”  Malon turns toward the castle.  “Shall we, Fairy Boy?”

“One second.  What about-”

“There’s nothing else I can tell you.”  The guard says, shutting the gate after the vast visitor ducks through it.  “Better get a move on.”

“Let’s go; I wanna see the castle!”  She sounds like a little girl pleading.  “Come on!”

Link sighs.  “What about the hedge maze?”  He thinks to himself.

He need not have worried though.  The castle gardeners had spent the entire morning uprooting a straight path for Malon to walk through the maze all the way to the courtyard.  Not only that but guards lined the walkway, leaving other routes closed to prevent getting lost and the way clear.  Even overhanging foliage had been removed for the visitor’s convenience.  At 3:28 Link and the guest of honor step on the veranda to meet with the head of the kingdom actually early of all things.

“Thank you for coming.”  Says the castle doorman who has apparently abandoned his post for the occasion.  “If I could take your things, Link?”

The green clad hylian gives him an annoyed look.  “We’ve been through this before.”  He thinks to himself.  “You journey through a bunch of trials then hand off what  you get to someone random.  No sale.”

Brushing off the daggers Link threw his way with his gaze the greeter turns to Malon.  “If you would sit down-”

“I’m fine thank you.”  The auburn maned one replies, looking down at the castle emissary.  “As a matter of fact I’m lookin’ around.”  She raises an eyebrow.  “Is that a problem?”

“N- no, not at all.”  The doorman stammers.  “I was merely suggesting you get comfortable…”

“The ground’ll be there when I’m ready for it.  My behind ain’t never failed to find it, don’t think it needs directions.”  She smiles a wry smile.

The chagrined servant can’t quite share her smile however. “Ah, I see.  Well, as you will; Zelda will be along shortly.”  He bows shakily and goes into the castle.

“You didn’t have to do that.”  Link mentions as the doorman disappears through the threshold.

“Do what?”  Malon asks absently, scanning the castle parapets. 

“Talk to him like that.  I mean-”

“He didn’t have to interrupt either.  He could see I was busy.  I just told him that.  Wasn’t like somethin’ was pressin’.  It isn’t standin’ room only around here; just ain’t no chairs.  There’s plenty of space.”

“He was just doing his job.”

“I didn’t see you listen to him either.”

She’s got him there.  “…well I didn’t tell him off either.”  He replies candidly.

Now Malon gives Link that same look she just gave the castle greeter.  “Well I’m not a regular here so excuse me for lookin’ around somewhere I ain’t been before.”

“Doesn’t mean you need to be impolite about it.”

“One good turn deserves another and I can surely say I don’t need to be told to set my butt down like I’m five years old when I can figure that much out when I’m tired of standin’ up!”  She looks displeased at her own conclusion and meets Link’s gaze.  “How about that?”

“I can’t argue with that.”  He admits to himself.  So he shrugs.  “Can’t say much to that.”  He concurs.

“Sometimes you got to be impolite to speak your mind.  Cain’t let people walk all over you.”

He doesn’t reply.  There is silence for a time as she takes advantage of her height to peer into the castle’s insanely large windows to check out what passes for royal décor.  When another person in the leisure area joins them she’s the last to know as she’s intent on the inside of the castle.

“Good of you to come.”  Says a voice from beneath the shade of a tree.

“Hi to you too, Impa.”  Link replies.

“I see you persuaded Link to let you come.”

Malon giggles and turns around.  “You thought I wouldn’t?”

The sheikah smirks.  “I did have my doubts.” 

The gargantuan guest of honor giggles again.  “He doesn’t know how to tell anyone ‘no’ yet so…”  She just smiles a silly smile while Link has a petulant look on his face.  “Here we are.”

Impa chuckles.  “And it is good to see you.”

“Ah, I’m so glad you were able to make it.”  Princess Zelda makes her appearance.  Link gets down on one knee.  Malon, following his cue, does the same.  Lifting her dress hem she kneels and with a slight tremor through the area lays one knee to the ground, leaving a depression in otherwise perfect grounds keeping.  “Okay, stop.  You two didn’t come here for that to be the highlight of your day.”  Her guests rise.  “Let me thank you for coming once again.”

“Of course.”  Link replies.

“You’re welcome, princess.”

“Zelda please if you would, Malon.”

“Alright your majesty.”  Her majesty gives the redhead a funny look.  “I mean Zelda, whoops…”

The monarch laughs.  “It’s okay.  You aren’t quite able to fit in the dungeon anyway so don’t worry about it.  Speaking of that, how do you like this old place?”

“It is nice…”  Malon says quietly.  “I’ve always wanted to see it.”

“It is a castle.  The ceilings are on the high side, I’d almost say it would fit you.”

“Mmhmm.  I want one.”

Zelda laughs softly again.  “I can see why but I’m not sure I can let you have this one.”

The behemoth backwoods belle smiles.  “I’m sure you didn’t call us here to swap houses.  Though I will if you’re offering.”                                                               

 “You’re right.  But let’s get to that after lunch.”  Zelda sits.  “Care to share it with us?”

“We did come all the way here, I’d hope you didn’t plan to make us watch you eat.”   She sits across from Zelda after giving Link a chance to get clear.  He takes a seat next to his immediate supervisor and Impa sits across from him next to hers as servants bring in the refreshments.

The lead one brings tea and cups on a silver tray.  Next to him is one with a salad mixed and bowls to hand out while on the leader’s other side is one with a tray of sandwiches.  After dispensing their refreshments they disappear back into the palace without a word.  Malon looks like she’s going to say something as she’s feeling a bit left out but her hostess holds up a finger in the “one moment” motion and as though that is the signal the procession starts.

First comes her teakettle sitting on a plate.  Six people bear it as the pot is full of hot tea while two more set down her cup and saucer next to it.  A second saucer appears with two men carrying it and it has a scone that would qualify as a couch cushion to their guest upon it.  One of the people carrying it looks at her and mouths the words “I knew it” before withdrawing with a bow like the rest.  Next comes her salad bowl with four people on both sides of it.  This is set to her left and three more workers with freshly cast silverware set those next to her salad.  Then another eight servants come before Malon with a sandwich, setting this between the salad and the tea, then vanishing with neither stare nor sound to reappear with two more before bowing and leaving the diners be.  The hush carries for around another minute while the guests at the event start putting it all together.  Zelda breaks the silence the only way you can when you find yourself unable to correctly accommodate a guest.

“Let me be the first to say I’m sorry.”  The princess apologizes.  “This was not-”

“It’s alright.”  Malon replies softly, cutting her off.  “You did try.”

“I intended for this to be much closer to correct.”

“You failed on that one…”  Link muses silently.

“I know; I appreciate the effort.”

“This reflects badly given how much attention to detail was missed.”

“It does not.  You didn’t measure me and you didn’t do too bad guessin’…I’m just a bit smaller than you thought.”

“I was trying so hard-”

“Worse things have happened hon.”  Malon says gently.  “I’ll make do.”

“But…”

The outsized girl simply smiles and shakes her head.  “Shush.”  Zelda is about to protest but someone’s not paying her any mind.  “Anyone ever tell you that it’s impolite to talk with your mouth full?”

Zelda could point out she hadn’t started eating yet but Malon doesn’t seem to be paying attention.  She appears to be puzzling the best way to attack her meal.  “This is what humiliation is…”  The princess thinks, watching her guest contemplate how to eat.  “I want a refund on the Triforce of Wisdom if I couldn’t see this coming.”

Malon had one thing on her side though.  The blacksmith, to his credit, had been closest to right so her silverware was proportioned to be useful.  However the intrepid head chef had made his will known in the kitchen and got to the clay workers before the forge master so her main problem was that the food and dishes were way too big for her to mess with.  “Salad I can do.”  She realizes.  “The bowl’s a tad big but I don’t have to lift it.”  Looking at the sandwiches she’s got a tactic for them too.  “I’ll cut one of those monster things in half and see if I can handle it.  They’re bigger than my cows; you call that finger food?”  She can’t help but giggle at the thought and given the library atmosphere everyone looks at her for an explanation.  “Finger food.”  She says smiling timidly and pointing at a sandwich that could grow legs and walk for the amount of ham on it.

Zelda laughs despite herself.  “Hmm, I suppose you’re right.”  She smiles at her guest.

“It is a loose term.”  Impa agrees with a chuckle.  “Perhaps.”

“Really?”  Link sounds genuinely puzzled.  “Did you invite Biggoron by mistake?”

“No…who’s that?”  Zelda asks.

Link things about it then waves dismissively.  “I’d have to take you to meet him.”

“I wanna go!”  Malon pipes up.

“Well you can the next time I stop up to see my brother.”

“Good.”  She finishes with her salad (as much as she plans on eating) and starts cutting a sandwich in half.  “I need to see him anyway.”

“Oh really?”  The gallant gadget user is curious.  “Why?”

Malon doesn’t answer.  She’s got her sandwich in hand and is implementing plan no. 2.  She’s also wondering how Zelda got bread to rise higher than two feet and not burn it but that’s a question soon answered.  It’s a little gooey on the inside and a tad undercooked but no one in the kingdom had enough baking experience to perfect a bun that size.  She takes a bite and actually likes it.  A little heavy on the mayo but pretty good though it’s sagging in the middle from it all.  She turns to see if Link’s enjoying himself and that’s when the not so crispy bread tears and the filling of the sandwich finds its way into the air.  It’s not falling long though and soon the Hero of Time is making quite a fashion statement.

Link’s mouth is opening and closing.  His eyes are tightly shut and his hands are wrapped in a death grip around his teacup that is not filled with tea anymore.  He takes off his hat, which is covered in sandwich filling and wipes his face.  It does next to nothing for cleaning his countenance but he opens his eyes afterward and looks up at Malon with a strange gaze.  “What I get for sitting close and keeping company…”  He thinks to himself.

By now she’s laughing despite herself still holding the empty slices in her hands.  “Can I say I’m sorry?”  The ham-covered hylian shakes his head.  “I can’t?”  He shakes his head again.  “Oh…”  She thinks a second.  “Can I say ‘too much mayo’?”  Link nods this time.  So she turns to turns to the crown ruler of the nation.  “You know something, Zelda?”

“I have a feeling I might.”  The princess replies, giving Link a fresh cup of tea.  “What is it, Malon?”

“I’m thinkin’…too much mayonnaise.”

Looking at Link who is still covered in the stuff with tomato, lettuce and ham adhering to him she nods.  “I’m agreeing with you on that.”  She hands the sticky hylian a napkin.  “A little too much.”

“I don’t like Link with much mayo.  I’m more a light mayo type.”

“I admit I like generous amounts.  Impa is a ‘hold the mayo’ type.”  The shadow sage nods.  “I think Link is fine this way though.”  Zelda concludes.

“Link doesn’t like mayonnaise either!”  He bursts out.

“Do you recall asking him?”  Malon queries of the ladies across from her.  They shake their heads.  “Cause I surely didn’t.”  Of course this sets him to fuming but it’s worth a smile and fixes the atmosphere.

Zelda pours Impa and herself a second cup of tea and the guest of honor realizes she’s thirsty too.  The reason she hasn’t had anything to drink is that the kettle is easily knee high and she’s not sure she’s up to pouring it in a washbasin sized teacup.  But thirst is insistent so she gives it a go.

She stands and grabs the pot by the handle and bottom.  Lifting it with a little effort, as it is full to the brim, she tilts it towards her cup.  It immediately tips while she’s pouring but ever-helpful Link jumps up to right the container.  She doesn’t want to splash him with hot tea though so she draws back and holds the teapot upright.  Or attempts to.  In trying to stop the stream of caffeine refreshment the handle snaps.  Between the kettle being too full and not enough clay being used for the handhold Malon is about to lose control and shower Link in herbal tea.  Fumbling as best she can with a somewhat hot piece of oversize pottery she manages to turn the spout from the ground. Doing this leaves the colossal cozy sideways and the lid goes flying off and the deluge finds its way into the grass, into her cup…and onto Link as well.  Everyone recoils at his sudden bellow of pain and that brings quiet time back to the courtyard.

Link’s eyes are tightly closed again and he’s breathing somewhat rapidly through his nose, you can hear it audibly.  He removes his hands from the disproportionate teacup and takes his hat and wipes at his reddening face.  It’s not any drier for it but he opens his eyes anyway.  “I call that being helpful…”  He thinks looking at the source of his dampness with that unreadable ‘why me?’ look.

Malon is looking outright guilty with the teapot still in her hands.  “I’m-”  Link shakes his head.  “At least-”  He shakes his head again.  She opens her mouth to speak a third time but he’s already expressing disapproval.  She holds a finger to her lips with a quizzical look on her face and he nods.  She sighs and reaches for her teacup, which had become half-full during all this but he becomes quite animated at that and lunges at the container, overturning it.  Giving his action some thought she sighs again and closes her eyes, bowing her head in shame.  “Could’ve seen that coming…”  She thinks.  “Can’t blame him.”

“There’s more tea in the castle.”  Zelda mentions.

“I’ve had enough, thank you.”  Link replies.

“I was talking to-”

“I’m good.”  He insists.

“…nevermind.”

“Now before I find a way to annoy Link with this…”  Malon heaves her mattress-sized scone into the moat, getting a smile out of the soggy sword slinger and takes her seat again.  “Not that I don’t like your hospitality but you did call us here for a reason and I really don’t think I could’ve got him here if this was it.”

“You are right…”  Zelda concurs, hedging a bit.  “I have something to say…”

“Hmmm?”

“It’s hard for me to begin…”

A servant comes in, having heard the commotion with a towel over his arm.  Link takes it and the butler vanishes like a phantom

“Well start with the first word then put them in order.”  Malon suggests.

“I’m not sure how I want to say it.  It’s about how we first met…”

Her guest seems distracted and almost as though she’s not paying attention again.  This time because she’s taken the hero’s towel in one hand and swooped him up with the other.  He’s trying to get free but that’s a no-go.  “Oh, stop it!”  She mumbles, shifting her hold on him.  “It’s my fault so let me.”  She starts drying him like one would a young child, gently wiping off the sticky beverage she’d drenched him in.  He looks ready to protest but she shushes him, which amuses Impa enough to have a light laugh at his expense.  “You were saying?”  Malon asks, addressing the princess.

“I was.  At the lake you made some good points, I just wanted you to know that and…”

“…and?”  She finishes drying Link, leaving him in her embrace, and they both turn their full attention to Zelda.  “I’m listenin’.”

“…and I’m sorry.”  The blonde hylian admits.  “I didn’t listen and I took advantage of Link so that whole thing at the lake was my fault.”

“That takes a whole lot of guts to own up to.”  Malon mentions.

“He said he didn’t want to do any of it but I pressed him till he said he would.  I kind of knew he’d give.”

“You know he can’t say no to his friends.”  Zelda nods.  “That’s his problem, can’t stick up for himself.  Stick a sword in somethin’ easy; he’s plenty brave.  Just hates to disappoint I suppose.”

“I am still here…”  Link ruminates.  “You don’t have to talk like I’m not.”  He sulks inwardly till he gets a little squeeze reminding him she knows he’s present.  “I can speak up for myself…though if I were better at it none of that would’ve happened…”

“That doesn’t make what I did right.  I said things I shouldn’t have and it got out of hand.  My sincerest apologies to you both.”  Zelda stands and bows respectfully.

Malon smiles a tiny bit as her hostess sits back down.  “I came here with somethin’ to get off my chest too.  I wasn’t too happy with the way we met up myself.”  She admits.  Link turns to look up at the enormous country girl as Zelda and Impa are paying rapt attention  “Stop fidgeting, you…”  She chides, squeezing him again.  “I’m trying to talk.”

“I’d like to hear what’s on your mind if you don’t mind telling me.”  Zelda says quietly, not trying to interrupt.

The redhead takes a deep breath.  “Well I didn’t come here to take back what I said; I meant every word otherwise I wouldn’t have said it.”  The princess’s face falls slightly.  “That ain’t to say I’m not tryin’ to apologize.  I could’ve come at you with more class than I did and I wasn’t trying to give the wrong impression.  I was quick to judge you and that wasn’t fair of me.”

“I didn’t like the way you talked to me.”  The princess says softly.

“I surely didn’t like what I saw happenin’ there.  I said what I did to get my point across before too late.”

“That, you did.”  Zelda leans forward, forehead in hand.

“I may have upset you but I’m about positive neither of us were too happy at the time.”

“An understatement if I ever heard one.”  She mumbles.

“But we’re here now.  Do you see any reason we can’t be friends?”

“It all turned out for the best…so I don’t see why not.”

“You may have done some things I didn’t like but that doesn’t mean we can’t get this right.”

“I agree whole-heartedly.”  The ruler of the kingdom looks back up at her special guest.  “Do you accept my apology?”

“Only if you accept mine.”

Zelda smiles and stands.  “Then it was a pleasure dining with you Malon.”

“Likewise Zelda.”

“I have to say this was worth the trouble.”  Impa thinks, watching the ladies bow courteously to each other.  “Really.”

“Now get Link out of here before he catches a chill.”

Malon giggles.  “Yes, your highness.”

“Hey!”  The damp destroyer of evil sounds annoyed.

“Shhh, she’s right.”  The farm girl puts a finger to Link’s lips, stifling further protests.

“Mmphf!”  Everyone can see his frowning face as he’s treated to some quiet time.  “Mmmf!”

“How many times I have to tell you to be quiet?”  She shakes her head, smiling a big grin.  “I swear you don’t listen.”  Zelda and Impa are both laughing as Malon leaves the courtyard with Link in hand hard enough for him to feel embarrassed but no one is giving that much thought as usual.

“Not to mention hilarious.”  Impa considers as an afterthought.

In Zora’s domain one person is walking the halls.  Highly agitated she’s burning off energy the only way she can think of.  On her fourth pass near her father he shakes his head and calls her to him.

“Ruto, is something wrong?”  The King of the Zora asks, knowing full well the answer.  “Your pacing worries me.”

“Daddy…”  Ruto whines plaintively, plopping down beside him.

“Yes my daughter?”

“He took her to the castle today; everyone is talking about it.”

“Oh, are they?”

“Yes!  They say he’s hanging off her like they’re connected somewhere.”

“I see…”

“What do I do daddy?  I can’t just let her take him away from me!”

“I’ll question if you had him to begin with…”  The father thinks to himself.  “If she’s got this much of a hold on him what kind of chance did you have?”  The look on his daughter’s face says she’s heard this before from other zoras earlier today.  She seems to be silently pleading with him with her eyes to give her a reprieve, a fragment of hope for her to hold onto so he’s said nothing yet.

“Daddy?”

“One moment, precious.  I’m thinking.”

The majestic aquatic persona is racking his brain.  For a moment he too has nothing but that won’t do.  His daughter’s happiness is riding on this and as much as this bothers him he wants to see her happy.  “I think you’re going to have to change tactics.  If he’s not going to come to you, you’re going to have to make him.”

“How do I do that?”

“I’m not exactly sure.  If you could show him some things about her he didn’t like or bother him then maybe…”

“Maybe…”

“But it’s still up to him.  However if you point out things he doesn’t like he may come your way.”

Ruto smiles.  “I’ve got an idea.”

“Good.  Just watch her and figure out what she’s about.  Bide your time.  Make your moves well.”

“You’re smart, daddy.  You always know what to say.”  The water princess flounces off to her quarters.

“I could debate that.”  The king murmurs to himself.  “But I just hope she doesn’t get into trouble over him.”

Back at Lon Lon Ranch Link is tackling the evening chores and some half-done ones from the afternoon (given Talon did those).  Malon is sitting on one side of the horse enclosure looking up at the night sky.  A few guays cross against the light of the moon with a little cawing but it’s a pretty quiet night. 

“It went much better than I thought at the castle today.”  She thinks to herself.  “Zelda’s a lot more mature than I gave her credit for.  Even so I’m a long way from setting it all right…”  She muses a while, her mind wandering from various subjects and she’s distracted despite doing nothing to begin with.

Link finishes inside the stables and comes out.  His supervisor seems to be in a trance and doesn’t notice when he sits nearby.  He’s content to put his feet up and not interrupt but he does have a question.

“Hey Malon…”  He calls out.  “You awake?”

“Huh?”  She visibly starts like one tapped while napping.  “Not really…”  She looks around and spots the one ruining her thinking time.  “What do you want?”

The bearer of the Triforce of Courage smirks.  “What kind of answer is that?  Either you’re awake or you’re not; you definitely can’t say ‘not really’.”

“What do you want, Sticky Boy?”

“First, that was your fault for spilling tea on me.  Second, I’m not sticky anymore.  I prefer Fairy Boy while not having a fairy over Sticky Boy while not sticky.”

Malon rolls her eyes with a small smile.  “Was there somethin’ I could help you with or were you going to settle for bein’ annoyin’?”

“So how’d you like the castle?  What did you think of today?”  Link queries.  “You had a reason to go and made me so spill.”

She nods slowly.  “I have been thinkin’ about it…”  She sighs slightly.  “Like you read my mind there almost.”

“And?”

“Somethin’ broke my train of thought…wonder what that was?”  She shoots Link a look that lets him know exactly what with a half-smile.

“Ah, sorry.”

“It’s alright.  It was goin’ in circles anyway.  Same ole worries.”

“I’m going to look puzzled and see if that works.  I just asked her what she was thinking.”

“Now you look confused; what’s on your mind Fairy Boy?”

Link smacks his forehead and looks disappointed.  “Don’t ask what I’m worried about.  What are you worried about?”

“I think I should pay the rest of your friends a visit.  I want to be clear how we stand.”

He nods.  “Makes sense but that’s not a serious worry; none of them bite as far as I know.”

“I wouldn’t take bets.”  Malon says slowly.  “I think Ruto’d let me have every tooth in her head if she could sink em in me…”  She reflects.

“There’s more to it than that.  Somehow I don’t think how Ruto feels about you is what’s keeping you awake at night.”

She grins at his conclusion.  “Fair enough.  What it is…”  She’s looking back up at the sky at the moon again.  “It’s been a good while now.  I’ve been wonderin’ how much longer I can keep you here workin’.  You aren’t a farmer and I ain’t paid you.”

“Quit that.  I don’t mind, how many times do I have to tell you?”

“It’s not easy and takes up a lot of time.  This ranch is my life not yours…”

“I wouldn’t watch you land in a bind like this either without trying to help.  I know how much this place means to you.”

“Doesn’t stop me from wantin’ to be normal an’ do it myself.”

“…”

“I’m costing a lot of money too.  Don’ think I’m clueless to how much food runs for me.”

“You’re right.”  The hero has an epiphany.  “I could be Bomchu Bowling with all that money!”

She ignores his remark.  “That blanket had to cost a fortune.”

“There went my formal wear.  He’ll never make me a tuxedo after that…”

“Be serious, Link!  Will I ever get back to normal?”

He shrugs.  “I’m still no good with a crystal ball.  What can I tell you?”

“Is there a cure for this?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“I cain’t just depend on you.  If somethin’ happens then…”

“Have some faith.  I’m pretty good at the hero thing.”

“Oh, okay.  Good to hear that.  I guess I don’t have to worry.”  Malon remembers something.  “Say Fairy Boy, ever dropped a foal?”

“Ever…what?”

“Dropped a foal.  Horses’ll start calving soon.  Looks like I’ll have to talk you through it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Giving birth to baby horses, silly.”

“Don’t they do that themselves?”  Link looks uncomfortable.

“We can help a lot with labor.  This season I’m predictin’ you’ll be busy.”

“How… does that work?”

“I’m not thinkin’ I should tell you now; you’re lookin’ a little green around the gills.  When the time comes you’ll find out first hand believe me.”

“You-you can tell me.  I can handle it.”  He sounds shaky just saying it.  “Really.”

“I don’t think you can but I do got one hint for you.  I can start callin’ you ‘Sticky Boy’ again.”

The look on Link’s face is very special.  It’s one normally reserved for dismembered bodies and scents that make skunks smell lovely.  And this one is complete with a greenish hue around the face and wobbly legs.  He’s not opening his mouth and that’s because there’s a chance he could vomit right now so he’s quiet.

“What’s wrong Sticky Boy?”  Malon giggles.  “You can handle it can’t you?”

He pulls himself together to where he can keep his lunch down and talk.  “I’m thinking maybe not.”

“Really?  You’ll make a fine midwife for the horses and cows too.  Someone’s got to do it.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.  Some of the colts are coming of age soon but I’m sure you’d faint if I told you what that meant and what you’d have to do.”

“You know, for some reason, I am completely sure you have something creative to say that would make that prediction true.  I’ll pass.”

“But it’s a doozy.”

“Some things I don’t need to know.”

“It’s nothin’ a hero couldn’t handle.”

“Normally I’d say let me be the judge of that but I know better.  I’m positive I don’t even want a clue this time.”

“Aww, you’re no fun…”  The ponderous girl pouts.

“No, you’re not normal.  You’re telling me that’s going to be a whole lot less fun soon.  Pardon me for not jumping for joy.”

“It will be fun though.  I’ll be right behind you with the bucket of water in case- I mean when you pass out.  Every time.”  She giggles at the thought, the whole thing has her in a giddy mood.  “Be strong, Sticky Boy.  If I can do it so can you with a little practice…and a lot of water.”

“You’ve got to get back to normal.”

Back at Hyrule Castle the cleanup is still in progress.  The gardeners are working to replace the transplanted parts of the hedge maze, the servants are trying to deal with all the excess food and outsized dishes while the groundskeepers are still getting mayonnaise and tea off the castle veranda.  No one has even looked at the enormous roll dissolving in the moat that ducks from all around have gathered to peck at.  Zelda is returning from the kitchen where her and the head chef had some hot words.  She wasn’t pleased with his measurements of the party materials and she let him know it.  Word had gotten back to him before her arrival through a smug blacksmith and pastry cook so no surprises there.

“Ready for bed, princess?”  Impa asks as her charge re-enters the throne room.  “You’ve had quite the busy day.”

“I suppose but something is bothering me.”  Zelda mentions.  “Even with the Triforce of Wisdom I can’t figure it out.”

“What is that?”  The sheikah inquires as they begin to walk to the royal chambers.

“For the life of me I can’t understand it.  Why is he more comfortable around her than he is with me?”

“Hmm…well there’s a couple reasons for that.  He knows her better is the main one.”

“Even though she’s much bigger than he is and could hurt him by mistake he’d rather sit next to her than me?”

“That isn’t what I meant.  You’re taking this the wrong way.”  She opens the door to Zelda’s quarters and they step inside.  “You do remember that they’ve known each other longer, don’t you?”

“Link said he met us both around the same time.  He went to the ranch then came to the castle his first few days outside the forest.”

Impa sighs.  “You’re being silly.  We went into hiding after he found the spiritual stones.  You weren’t around much after that.”

“Ah, yes…”  The princess remembers, looking somewhat sad.  “But how well could you know someone to just…”

“Let her treat him the way she does?”

“Yes.”

“Well I’m certain there was some trial and error.  He was probably not thrilled at first but they’ve spent a lot of time together beforehand.  He trusted her to begin with.”

“She dropped a sandwich on him and doused him in hot tea!  He just sat back down next to her like nothing happened!”

“There are still some mistakes.  She’s only human. It looks like he accepts that and doesn’t mind it all that much.”

“He could get seriously hurt!”

“She’s not trying to harm him so he’s comfortable with the risk.  He didn’t look too uncomfortable while she was holding him…so I guess there’s good parts to it too.”

“That’s not fair…he still stiffens up around me…”

“Which brings me to reason number two.  When they met it was as young children playing around and being friends.  When you and Link met it was hero to princess.  It wasn’t the type of thing that leaves much room for jokes.  There was a matter of significant gravity at stake.  They joke and kid around because that’s how they met.  You don’t slouch in front of the acting queen.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Get to know Link better outside this castle.  He’s not at his best at dining engagements, as I’m sure you can see.  Time is all it takes.”

“I guess I have to make the effort then if that’s what I want.”  Zelda pulls her covers over herself.  “That’s all there is too it.”

Chapter 3: Tumbling In the Right Direction

The next morning Link is up early.  Despite a somewhat reprieve from work yesterday he went to bed early.  Something about being showered in hot tea and irritated really takes it out of you.  He’s awake before the rooster today and halfway through milking the cows when he crows.

“Heh beat you this time.”  The hero thinks with a chuckle as he starts pouring the buckets into large canisters for storage.  “So shut up.”

The old cock does exactly that.  Apparently with Link awake his purpose in life is done with and he slinks back into the chicken coop.  But that isn’t to say it’s silent out there.  What is an uncharacteristically loud but unmistakable yawn follows the bird’s daylight solo.  This also gets the hero’s attention, as he’s supposedly always alert.

“Looks like I beat you too.”  He considers, stepping out of the barn for a quick breather.  “Bet that’s a surprise.”

Indeed it is.  After finishing her yawn session Malon looks to one side then the other.  “Huh?”  She then lifts the cover and looks beneath it.  She sits up with a puzzled look then scans the area she was lying on.  “I know he was nearby…”  Casting her blanket to one side she stands and goes to check her guesthouse.  After finding no one present in it she stands and scratches her head.  “That’s a puzzler; where’d Fairy Boy get to so early?”

Link chuckles to himself.  “I thought you’d ‘have figured it out by now.”

“Far as I can remember I had him next to me.  I ain’t found him and it don’t look like I mashed him by mistake, otherwise…well that wouldn’t be pretty.  If he slipped off somewhere there’s no tellin’ where with that ocarina of his.  I know he must’ve split from here.  Last thing he’d do is wake up early for work.”

“I’m offended by that but I suppose she’d never have guessed…”  He contemplates wryly.

“I’ll ask him when he gets back.”  Malon concludes, sitting down and re-braiding her pigtails.  They came partially loose during the night, the clumsy knot undoing itself and becoming untied.  Something about having fingers the size of someone’s arm may make knot tying hard to do.

Link’s about to call out but thinks better of it and hurries back into the barn before she sees him  “I’ll just finish up in here.”  After taking a decent amount of time storing all the milk he walks out of the barn and back across the ranch.  He’s sure she’ll see him and stop wondering but she’s distracted doing something else.

The massive redhead is trying to tame her hair again and failing spectacularly.  Holding a pigtail end in one hand and rope in the other she’s trying to get a knot around the braided locks like she has for the last hour.  She has several loops of rope around one of her fingers as a testament to how many times she’s let it slip and it ended up tied to her finger instead.  Broken pieces of twine lie all around her as you can easily count how many times it’s been wound too tight with her strength.  With yet another snap of the rope as it gives way Malon cries out in exasperation.  “Come on!  I did it fine yesterday!”  She tosses the broken cord to the side with the rest of them and spies someone trying to slink by.  “Fairy Boy, where have you been?”

“Here.  Just did the cows.”  He replies nonchalantly.

As it turns out, Malon’s surprised look was worth the wait.  “What you say?”

“I was up early so I figured why not?”

Still stunned at the whole idea she shakes her head a tiny bit then snaps back to the matter at hand.  “Alright…but could you give me a hand with this?”

“With what?”  Link asks, playing innocent.

Malon’s best attempt at a frown doesn’t pass muster and she smirks down at the savior of the kingdom.  “My knittin’…”  She replies sarcastically.  “I’m havin’ a hard time getting’ started.”

“I’ll say; you keep breaking your string.  Who taught you to knit?”

“Anyway, I need you to tie knots around the ends of my braids.  I did it and they come loose last night.”

“Ah.”

“I never was any good with knots and I’m guessin’ yesterday I got lucky with them.  With fingers this big and only one hand again I’m doing a whole lot of nothin’ this time round.”

“Now I look like a member of the Hyrule Scout Troop?”

“You look like someone ready for a smack upside the head if I have to tell you…”  The immense girl replies slowly.

“Okay, what do I have to do?”

“Tie a knot round the end of these while I hole them together.”

“I did say I’ve never been any good at-”  Her glare serves as reply enough to negate his objection.  “I’ll do what I can.”

A few minutes later finds Malon’s hair tied with messy knots.  Of course she was looking for something closer to a bow and she’s watching one of them unravel so it’s safe to say she’s not content.  Link just shrugs with palms up like it’s out of his hands though he’s the one who did them.

“You couldn’t do better than that, Fairy Boy?”

“Not really.”

“I was thinkin’ somethin’ with some loops’d be nice.”

“I think someone who could pull that off would be nice.”

“You can’t even do a bow?”

“You’d be surprised how many times a day I retie my boots.”

“That’s terrible….”

“There isn’t a single adult in the entire Kokiri Forest so none of us really know how to anyway.  What else can I say?”

“That you made a mistake and will tie my hair in pretty bows that’ll stay-”  One of the loops of rope comes undone as she’s speaking.  “-this time.”

“What do you think I am, a hairdresser?”

“I’m thinkin’ you’re an oversize lil kid who needs boots that button but that’s just me.”  Link gives her a displeased look.  “It’s an opinion, what else can I say?”  Now he’s fuming for having his words thrown back at him and she’s laughing about that despite damage to personal fashion.

“You’ve got good logic going.”  Says a voice from the country property entrance.  “Even first graders can do better than that.”

“Mmhmm.”  The large girl turns to her gate.  “What brings you here this mornin’?  On official business for the princess again?”

“You could say that…”  Impa trails off.

“Oh?  What’s it about?”

“I wanted to pay you a visit.”  Says another voice from behind the shadow sage.  “Impa worries so much.”

“Princess?”  Link sounds surprised then kneels hurriedly.  Zelda dismisses that with a wave.  “Good morning I guess.”

“Well I’d like to welcome you to my humble abode first.”  Malon says brightly.  “Thanks for droppin’ by.”

“I hardly get out of the castle and thought I’d stop by.  What’s a friend if not someone to spend a little time with?”

“I don’ mind one bit.”

Zelda smiles. “I hoped not.”  Something occurs to her suddenly.  “I have a question.”

“Your highness?”

She shrugs off the reference to her title given her hostess’s grin.  “What were you and Link on about just now?  I missed most of it.”

“Oh, that?”  Malon asks offhandedly.  “Fairy Boy can’t tie a knot.”

“Really?”

“These ‘bows’ in my hair are courtesy of our resident hero.”

“Shame…”  Zelda says, shaking her head and clicking her tongue.

“Isn’t it though?”

“You can stop now; I feel silly enough already.”  Link says in a defeated voice.

“I have to admit I did expect more…”

“Please?”

“Well alrig-”

“Let me handle this, princess.” Malon turns to her subordinate.  “Not to be mean but was anyone talkin’ to you?”

“No…”

“And don’t you have chores to do?”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t get behind.”

“I started early-”

“Get movin’ you.”

“Wait a moment Link.”  Zelda says slowly.

“Hmm?”  Malon looks confused.

“What is it?”

“Watch me first.  This is how you tie a bow.”  The evergreen sporting employee makes a face and goes back to work leaving the chance to learn basic knot tying for another time.  “I was just trying to be helpful.”  Zelda giggles.  “Nevermind…”  She ties two perfect gift-worthy decorative knots around the ends of Malon’s pigtails.  “It isn’t that difficult though…”

The enormous girl laughs.  “That isn’t the point.”

“Of course not.  I was just trying to illustrate it to Link.”  Who can hear them talking still and grumbles audibly giving her a reason to smile.

“Tee hee.  Thanks for that, by the way; it’s hard enough to keep up with this hair as is.”

“I imagine.”  Zelda concurs.  “You could do with some real ribbons for it all.  Something pink or orange would be perfect.”

“I’m not lookin’ for anythin’ fancy.  I’m fine as long as it stays together.”

“Hmm…who does your clothes?  Staying together is becoming a loose term given all the extra stitches you’ve got on your dress.”

“Well when you’re wearin’ somethin’ bigger than two tents you’d be surprised how many things it’ll get caught on.  It’s still in one piece mostly so I’m content.”

“Who is your tailor?”  The princess is insistent.

Malon throws a wry smile back at her.  “Link if you haven’t guessed by now.  But…”

“But?”  Her guest has a quizzical look on her face.

“I don’ think you came to talk fashion to an overgrown farm girl.”  The ponderous lady turns around and sits in front of Zelda Indian style with her knees drawn into her arms.  “So you want to level with me and say what’s on your mind?  It’s awful early for anyone to be up much less payin’ visits, hon.”

“Direct and to the point as usual.”  Impa thinks with a small smile.  “That’s admirable.”

Zelda has a slightly contrite look on her face as though she’s feeling guilty at being found out so quickly.  “Umm…”

“It’s nothin’ to be ashamed of.  If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine too.”

“It’s not that but…well…”

“It kinda is that.   Or you’da fessed up by now, right?”

“I…you see…”  Zelda sighs and nods.

“Let me say it again before I forget.  If you don’t want to tell me then okay fine.  If you do, that’s alright too.  I got a good record of not bitin’ folks even if they say somethin’ I don’t like so don’t worry too much if you do decide to tell me.”

“I’ll leave you two alone.”  Impa says absently.  “I don’t think there is anything to worry about here.  Enjoy yourself, princess.”  Her charge nods and Impa walks off.

“I do have some things I should say but…”  The blonde hylian gestures at the stables nearby where Link is hard at work with a shovel and looks back at Malon with a somewhat pleading note in her gaze.

The colossal country gal nods and stands, gesturing her visitor to follow.  On the other side of the ranch they take seats like before.  “My voice doesn’t carry that far if I don’t yell and I’ll see him coming if he heads this way.  I’m guessin’ it’s somethin’ you’d rather he not know?”

“It’s a lot of things.  I’m just not sure I would be comfortable explaining them in front of him.”

“Actually, you are sure.  It didn’t take much thought for you to walk over here out of earshot.”

“…you’re right.”  Zelda admits, smiling slightly.

“Where I come from we don’t call that debatin’ we call that decidin’.”

The regent laughs softly looking down with her eyes closed.  “That’s one way of looking at it.”

Malon smiles.  “Whenever you’re ready; I’m not gonna press you.”

A couple minutes pass in relative silence.  The song of the waking birds and wind in the leaves is all you hear for a time.  The horses are on the sluggish side, walking about slowly stretching their legs in the corral.  The sound of lazy hooves is unable to carry over the stillness of the saffron hued morning.  Malon is content to watch the horses graze while Zelda is gathering her resolve.

“What am I supposed to say?”  The princess wonders.  “Why are you and Link so close?  Can you show me how you did that so I can have a turn?”  She shakes her head and takes another deep breath to steady herself.  “I have to do better than that.”  She looks up at her huge hostess to check her reaction but the auburn-maned one is not looking her direction.  The loss of composure is her little secret.

Malon is more interested in the finches and other avian fauna landing on her head and shoulders.  Amused that she makes a decent perch she just sits as close to immobile as she can manage while watching them out of the corner of her eyes.  “Don’ pinch my ears you…”   She laughs gently and shakes her head, persuading some to leave while others find a new perch.  “How would you like it?”

Zelda reflects a little more.  “Maybe I don’t have anything to say.  I don’t want to lie to her and I can’t very well tell her I envy her for apparently stealing Link’s heart.  But I want to tell her how I feel and she deserves a reason…”

Malon is thinking as well.  It’s not every morning the crown princess of the country comes to visit and she’s sure there’s something to that.  “Somethin’ must be on her mind; this isn’t a place she’d visit for fun.  I’m not thinkin’ she got up at the crack of dawn to ride out here cause we’re best friends now.  This has got to be about Fairy Boy over there.  The fact we’re sittin’ way over here is a real good sign since she must not want to have him hear her talkin’ about him.  Question is…is she even going to say anything?”  She steals a glance at Zelda who is intently looking at the ground.  Malon shoos a few birds from landing on her nose and smiles.  “I can play bird roost all mornin’, I don’t have much to do I just-”

“Malon.”  Zelda says after taking another deep breath.

“Yes hon?”

“I’ll try to tell you why I’m here.”

“I’m all ears, take your time.”

“Just need to be honest.  I can do this.”  Zelda thinks.

“If you’re not comfortable don’t bother.  You don’t owe me an explanation; I’m just curious.”

“It’s about Link…”

“Guessed as much there.”

She smiles ruefully.  “You’re perceptive.”

“Not really but go on, sugar.”

“I really do care about him despite how it looked that day at the lake but I don’t think either of you understand.”

“We don’t have to understand.  When you feel a certain you don’t have to ask anybody’s permission; it doesn’t matter what we think.”

“See, it does matter in a way.  It’s not so simple…”

“Hmm?”  Malon leans forward intently.  “Whatcha mean?”

“That day, because of what I felt then, you brought up some valid points.  I really do care for Link but we can’t be more than friends without a friendship to start with.”

“Mmhmm.”  The outsized lass nods.  “Took you awhile to figure that out.”

Zelda smiles uncomfortably.  “It did.  So since he doesn’t visit me too much anymore I figured I’d have to make a move.”

“I knew I was keepin’ him from doin’ things he’d normally do.”  Malon thinks.  “I wasn’t tryin’ to impose on him like that…”

“That’s why I came here to get to know Link better and you as well.”

She’s still somewhat peeved that Link played off his activities as nothing major and nearly misses what the princess says.  “Hmmm?  You aren’t interested in lil’ ole me are you?”

“No!”  Zelda replies hurriedly. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh.”  The farmer smiles a small smile.  “I mean you seem nice enough but I’m not sure you’re my type, hon.”

The blonde girl smirks.  “As I said, it’s not that.”  She looks reflective again.  “But you are special.”

“Special?”

“What you and Link have is something special.  I want something like that.”

“It’s not what you think.  Really it’s not…”  Malon almost whispers.

“You miss my meaning.”  Zelda replies, relieved to hear her say what she just did.  “You two are good friends.  Around you he’s like a whole different person, so relaxed and laid back.  I want that.”

“So you want to spend some quality time just getting to know us and hangin’ out?”

The holder of the Wisdom Triforce nods.  “It’s the best way to start a friendship and for me to find a way to sort out these feelings I have.”

“I understand.  This kills my notion of ‘best friends overnight’.”  Malon remarks with a chuckle.

The princess giggles at the idea.  “Maybe it’s a little off.”

“Either way, you’re welcome as long as you like.  Get comfortable, make yourself at home, do some work…”

“I think I’ll leave that to Link.”

The ranch overseer smirks and stands, startling enough of the aerial animals to be momentarily blinded as they take flight.  “Whichever is fine by me.”  She casts a glance at her assistant.  “He’ll be needing a hand in a minute so I think I’ll help him out.”

“Alright, and Malon if you could…”

“It’s between you, me, and the birds.  You’ll get a peep out of them before me.”  She says with a smile before heading back to the stables.  Zelda follows suit.

Link is walking out for a quick break.  He leans against the building and wipes sweat from his brow watching them approach.  “Whew…”  He sighs, dropping the shovel.  “Want to give me a hand, Malon?”

His supervisor laughs.  “You know I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can.  It’d be a piece of cake for you.”

“And another piece of my stable missing too, don’ forget.”

Link looks crestfallen and guilty at the same time.  “Right, I remember…”

“You should.  You got me spreading the hay after you shovel plus other stuff and you want me to put another hole in the wall?”

“I don’t.  I can handle it.”  He turns to the next stall in line.  “I’m almost done.”

“Hole in the wall?”  Zelda queries.

“Bet you’re wonderin’ what that’s all about.”  Malon replies.  As her guest nods she smiles.  “Over here, dear.”  The rancher takes a couple strides down to a middle compartment while Zelda almost trots to see what the matter is.  “That.”  The redhead points at a section at the back wall that is missing.  “Is a hole in the wall.”

“I see.  How’d that happen?”

The gargantuan girl giggles again.  I’m takin’ the blame for it since I did it but it’s really Fairy Boy’s fault.”

“Is not!”  Link protests from another stall.  “I didn’t-”

“Hush, I didn’t ask you.”

“But you can’t just pin it on me!”

Malon turns to Zelda.  “Wasn’t I talkin’?”

Zelda grins.  “I believe you were: you were explaining something to me.”

“Don’t listen to her!”

“As I was sayin’, it’s Fairy Boy’s fault.”  She pauses and both her and her guest laugh a bit at what is admirably loud grumbling given he’s on another side of the building.

“How did he manage that?”  Zelda asks in a falsetto-surprised tone.

“You know he’s been doin’ all the work around here.  It’s not somethin’ he got used to all too fast.”

“I could believe that.”

“I figured I’d try giving him a hand wherever I could so he doesn’t hurt himself.  So now if there’s heavy liftin’ I can reach I’ll help out.  Now he still has problems with stable work.  And one time he about begged me to give him a hand halfway through mucking ‘em out.  I didn’t think I could pull it off but didn’t have the heart to say no.”

“You seem really nice.  You wouldn’t put Link through something he didn’t think he could handle.”  Malon smiles at her words while she feels guilty.  “But I did…”  She thinks to herself.  “He could’ve been seriously hurt…”  She remembers the Spirit Temple revisited and how hard it pushed Link.

Even from her vantage point Malon senses something amiss.  “You feelin’ alright, hon?”

“What is she, telepathic?”  Zelda thinks, shaking it off.  “I’m fine, go on.”  She says.

“I don’t buy that for one second but I’ll let you keep it to yourself this time.”  Her guest says nothing.  “But the issue wasn’t whether I could move the shovel, rather whether I could do it real well in real close.  I tried and two strokes later I had the thing sticking out of the wall.”

“I see.”

“So it is his fault but since I did it I won’t make him fix it.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“I don’ make him do things if I can help it.  I always ask first and only tell him to do somethin’ if it’s really urgent.  I’m not his boss.”

“I could learn something from that.”  Zelda reflects to herself.

“So that’s the story of how the stable got ventilation.”

“You left out that I had to get the shovel out of the wall to finish later.”  Link mentions petulantly.

“Lil’ details aren’t important.”  Malon says with a grin.

“Right…”  He replies, rolling his eyes.  “I’m about done here.”

“Oh?”  The titanic teenager goes to get a bale of hay from the barn.  “Want to wait till after you do the chickens or not?”

“Now is fine since you didn’t help just now.”

“You knew good and well I wasn’t gonna.  Don’ play dumb with me.”  She says, spreading a couple handfuls of hay in each stall.  “I’ll be done knocked the whole thing over, then what keeps the rain off the horses?”

Link shrugs.  “I think you could do it with practice.”  He concludes, lying on the ground.

“I think you’d miss special treatment.”  She mentions, removing Link’s equipment.  “Admit it.”

“Did I miss something?”  Zelda asks, looking confused.

“No, I’m thinkin’ you caught most all of it.  I ain’t seen you step out to miss anythin’.”

The princess tries another approach.  “What’s going on?  Do I need to leave you two alone?”  Malon giggles while Link starts turning a light fuchsia color.  But Zelda really does look at a loss so the huge hylian decides to explain.

“Just about every morning since he’s started here I’ve given him a massage.  Main reason bein’ that I can’t have him crampin’ up later and hurtin’ himself.”  She starts to massage Link.

“How’d you figure out that was necessary?”

“On the second day he came stumbling out the stable like a person with broken back would walk.  I thought that was a problem and basically told him he’d wake up lookin’ like a pretzel if he didn’t let me give him a hand.”

Zelda is watching Link’s face.  He’s not with them at current as he’s looking sleepy and has an almost dopey smile on his face.  “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him smile…”  She thinks.  “And you do this every day?”  The princess asks aloud.

“Mmhmm.  He’s always gonna have cramp issues if he’s gonna be active and workin’.”

“I have to ask how you’re so sure.”

“Easy.  One sec, sugar.”  She picks Link up and sits down on her haunches then to something with her legs crossed and comfortable.  With him securely in her arms she double-checks that he’s asleep.  Finding it true enough she smiles.  “It’s cause he’s stubborn.”

“Stubborn?”

“Mmhmm.  This is the only time you’ll catch him with his equipment off.”

“Oh, he never takes it off.”  Zelda agrees.  “I can’t ever get him to.”

“Well I never ask.  I’ll yank it off when I do this or if he’s hurt.  Otherwise he’ll sleep with it on.”

“I suppose it’s a hero’s habit…”  The avatar of wisdom shrugs.

“I don’t care what it is.  It can’t be called for right around now.  Some of this stuff is pretty heavy and he has it on all the time.  He walks with a tendency to lean forward and I know why.  And him workin’ with it on ain’t healthy I can say that for sure.  That’s why I do this every day.”  She smiles a silly smile.  “That and he likes being pampered.  It’s the least I can do since I don’t pay him.”  She whispers then looks guilty.  “Ooo, don’t tell him I tol’ you that.”

“Fair enough.”  Her guest smiles.  “But he trusts you to do this for him?  You could hurt him by accident since I’m sure you’re really strong right now…”

“Oh we’ve been through that.”  Malon says somewhat sadly.  “As a matter of fact the day before it all happened down at Lake Hylia was when I did it.  He had trouble standin’ that day and that was my fault.”

“Ah, I remember.  He had a problem posing for the sculptor.”  Her hostess makes a less than pleased face at that so she changes the subject.  “So he’ll nap on you for how long?”

“Depends on how comfortable he is.  I’ve had him tell me he’d sleep life away in my arms sometimes if I don’t wake him for more chores.  I cain’t be that great.”

“I think it’s because he likes you more than you’d guess.”  Zelda thinks dejectedly.  “I’m not sure I can come between that.”  But aloud she does have a response.  “I don’t know but I wouldn’t blame him if he thought that.”

“Hmm?  Why you say that, sugar?”  Someone is genuinely puzzled yet again.

“Because he could not get more stuck to you without cement…”  The princess thinks morosely.  “He’s entitled to think as he likes; I can hardly blame him for that, right?”

Malon doesn’t look like she wants to accept that but she lets it go.  “Oh, alright.”  She checks on Link and gives him a little squeeze.  “I’ll wake him in an hour or so.  The day’s still early and I have somewhere I’d like to go.”

In Hyrule’s capital is a carriage that is just now making it over the drawbridge.   Slowing to a canter in the marketplace the driver contemplates something.

“I can only hope she remembers what we talked about.”  Impa reflects as her vehicle clops through the bazaar.  “It was strange enough that she’d even wake at sunrise to even try what we discussed yesterday.  But I guess it’s clear she’s committed to making an effort; I’m surprised that it means that much to her.”

The carriage arrives at the gate to the palace.  After a cursory check it opens and the shadow sage guides the royal wagon to the castle stables.  Unhitching the horses and putting it to rights doesn’t take long and she’s still ruminating.

“The main issue is not to impose.  She hasn’t made much progress as the princess and ‘requesting’ things of him.  The hero/royalty relationship isn’t going to work.  She’s going to have to approach him like a normal person and expect to be treated as such.  No ordering people around and special treatment; it’s the old-fashioned way.  And given she’s spent the entirety of her life being waited on hand and foot I’m not sure how much she can handle.”  Impa sighs.  “She decided to do this on her own though.  She has to have an idea of what it means.  I just hope she’s ready for it.”

Link isn’t sure where he is.  All he can hear is panting and his eyes are tightly shut.  It is as though he’s running.  He can hear brush snapping as he’s barreling through what seems like a wooded area.  Even as he slows and the sound of branches breaking stops he still can’t see.  It’s like his face is covered in some kind of cloth.  He can only listen and that he does ardently.  And over the sound of a very loud heartbeat he can hear something.  Like a murmured prayer but he can’t make it out.  While he’s trying to make sense of it the muttering stops.  It’s replaced by unmistakable yelling and it’s so loud and so close he can’t help but hear it.

“Please!”  The voice screams.  “Help me!”  Instantly Link is thrown into the depths of terror.  Her plea shakes him to the core and he’s immediately worried to hear the urgency in her voice.

There is a low toned response and thanks to brief hearing damage from being yelled into like a microphone Link is once again unable to get heads or tails of it.  The area he’s in is cool and the sun is shining on the back of his eyelids.  Despite the urgency of the person yelling it’s a peaceful place that has a homey feel to it.

“I beg of you please help me!”  The voice starts to whimper and he feels like crying too.  “I can’t go on.”  Something about those words hurts to hear them and he feels like something dear to him is in danger. 

There’s another low-toned response and it’s almost familiar.  He just can’t get whom exactly it is and is still trying to decipher it over the panting and crying as it reaches new heights.  He feels like he should know and it’s on the tip of his tongue but…

“Then please have mercy on my son, Deku Tree!  Let his life be spared!”

This gets Link’s attention and though he’s bound pretty tightly he manages to get the covering off of his face.  His eyes are having trouble focusing but he can see this is the Sacred Meadow of the Deku Tree.  The voice mystery is given too but something is wrong.

“That I can do.  I regret there is nothing I can do for you but you are too far gone for me to save.”  The Deku Tree replies.

“It’s alright.  I suppose as long as he’s alright that’s all that’s all that is important.  Just please protect him for me?  Nothing else matters anymore.”

“Mom?”  Link realizes.  “Don’t talk like that please…”  He begs silently.

“In your son’s destiny I see great things.  I will do what I can to keep him safe.  The time will come when we need him to protect us all.”

“You hear that, Link?  You’re going to do great things, maybe even save the world.  I’m so sorry I won’t be able to see it.”

“Wait, no…”  Link is trying to get his vision to sharpen but it’s to no avail.  He’s trying to shift around to get a better angle but he can’t; she’s got a hold tighter than iron on him.

“You are very strong.”  The Deku Tree says solemnly.  “I will not forget what you have done and I will be sure that he knows of what you did for him.”

“Thank you.”  She coughs, sitting down.  “Son, I want you to grow big and strong to follow your destiny…”

“Mom…”

“…and please forgive me for missing it…”  She whispers sadly, coughing and sobbing at the same time.  “I wanted to be there for you…”

“Don’t say that…”

“Be brave for me.”  She whispers as Link feels a kiss on his forehead and struggle as he might he can’t see her eyes.  Just a wan smile and tears slipping over those lips as she gathers her resolve.  Her nose is running and slightly red so he can tell she’s been sniffing and these tears are not her first but that’s all he can see. As she mouths her last words a few drops fall from her face onto his and he just wants to scream so badly when they touch him, splashing his cheeks with warm saltwater.  He can feel it coming but the words still hurt when he hears them.  “Good bye my son.” 

“Mom!”  Link cries out, convulsing violently.  But the vision is gone and he’s back on the ranch trying to dive out of Malon’s embrace.

“Shh, shh…”  Malon tries calming him and is doing her best to keep a gentle hold on him before he manages to faceplant on the ground.  “It’s alright, sweetheart.  I’m here for you.  I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Link is sobbing now.  He’s stopped flopping like a fish out of water but is by no means alright.  “You don’t understand…” 

“Mmm…”  She softly hums, rocking him slowly to reassure him of her presence.  “I…I think I do, sugar.”

“But you, how…”  He’s not keeping himself together for more than four seconds at a time and bursts into tears again.

“Shh, it’s okay honey.”  She sighs and holds him closer, squeezing him even tighter than he’d expect.  “I know it hurts…”

“H-how do you know?”  Link asks with his voice wracked with sorrow, sniffing loudly.  “Y-you can’t…”

Malon gazes down at him with a subdued smile on her face and closes her eyes.  “I do.”  Link shifts to meet her eyes with his tear streaked ones.  “I lost my ma when I was really young.”  She says slowly.  “One day I woke up…and she was gone.”  The girl looks off to the horizon.  “So believe me, I know.”

“I never even saw her face, she never got to hear my voice.  I didn’t even get a chance to say good-bye…”  Link sobs softly.

“I actually know what that’s like.  I didn’t get a chance to say good-bye either.  But you do know a lot of things…”

“Huh?”  He isn’t in a thinking mood at present.

“Well she did everything in her power for you.  She gave everything she had to keep you safe.  She never let you go.”

“So?  She left me by myself.”

“She sacrificed her life to protect you one last time.  She loved you more than you’ll ever know.  I don’ know what happened to my ma or why.  I’ll likely never know…”  Malon blinks back a few tears of her own.  “At least you know…”

“I never saw her eyes…”

“You were her treasure.  You saw her greatest gift to you.  That…I can’t say any more.”

“I’m sorry.”  Link says, trying to pull himself together.  “I’m not trying to be silly.”

“You’re not being silly and don’ be sorry.  It all happened a long time ago; good luck to either of us tryin’ to change it now.  It’s only natural to wish.”

“Thank you for being here and helping me.  I…that still hurts.”

“Likely always will.”  Malon sighs.  “Part of life, hon.  And I’ll be here as long as I can and you’ll let me so don’ worry.”  Link smiles slowly.  “Now get yourself together and clean out the coop; I got plans for the day, slowpoke.”  She sets him down.  “Get to it.”

“Right boss.”  Link hustles to work.

Meanwhile Zelda, who had born witness to the entire cuddle session, was still floored.  “He never told me how he got to the forest as many times as he’s told me the story of how he saved the kingdom.  He, they, I can’t hope to have that…”  She thinks to herself feeling a sensation of awe.  “All this time and…she was right.  I didn’t understand him at all.”

A few minutes later, after Link has cleaned out the hen house and Malon has had a talk with her father about today’s chores she has a suggestion for today’s itinerary.  Zelda is over near the corral, amusing herself with trying to get a horse’s attention long enough to saddle up and take a walk around but they aren’t listening to a stranger.

“Hey, you remember what we talked about last night, Fairy Boy?”

“We talked about a lot last night, be more specific.  Some of it I don’t want to think about.”

Malon smiles fiendishly but doesn’t poke fun at Link this time.  “When I said I’d like to visit the rest of your friends and see about setting things right.”

“Yeah.  You thinking about paying someone a visit?”

“Mmhmm.  Your friend from the forest.  I did say some things I shouldn’t and I want her to know I wasn’t out to hurt her feelings.”

“That’s a long way from here; it’ll take most of the day to get there.”

“Well that’s one reason I’m glad you got done early.  If you pack somethin’ in the saddle bags for a lil’ lunch and chaperone me maybe we can get there before sundown.”

“Only place that’s further from here is Zora’s Domain.  You’re in a hiking mood because you just picked one.”

“Scratch that, we may make it by tomorrow if we’re lucky.  Nevermind.”

“No, no, no!”  Link snaps irritably.  “You want to go to Kokiri Forest, we go to Kokiri Forest.”

Malon laughs.  “You don’ have to be so happy about it.”

The forest native ignores her remark and is about to go pack for the journey but he stops as he’s forgotten one important thing.  “Princess, would you like to go to Kokiri Forest with us?”

“I suppose so.”  Zelda replies unsteadily.  “But are we really walking?”  She whispers.

“Unless Malon decides to fly us there looks like we’re footing it.”  He replies sarcastically.

“I’d really prefer a carriage of some sort…that is a long way.”

“Well take that up with her.  I have supplies to pack.”  Link walks off.

Zelda looks up at the farmer standing nearby.  She has an expectant look on her face and this makes the princess hesitant to speak.   “I know I shouldn’t be asking for special treatment; if they can walk I can too.  But that’s really far!  They can’t be serious!”  All of this is running through her mind as their eyes lock.

“Is somethin’ the matter, Zelda?”  She says suddenly, breaking the princess’s train of thought.  “I caught the tail end of what you were sayin’; you got somethin’ to ask me?”

“Actually, I do.”  The blonde girl takes a deep breath.  “I was wondering if…we’ll be taking a break during the journey or not?”

“Of course we are!”  Malon says brightly.  “We’re not goin’ on a march; we’ll have ourselves a picnic!”  Link returns with Epona lightly loaded.  “What do you think I had him pack for?”

“Because you didn’t feel like it…”  The hero mumbles.

“Aside from that.”  She beams a hundred watt smile at them both.  “It’s to enjoy ourselves!”  The princess smiles back, it’s infectious.  “So, are we ready to go?”

“That’s up to you.”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”  Zelda says lightly.  “I hope I can handle this.”  She thinks to herself.

“Alright, let’s move!”  Malon says gaily and they’re off.

It’s easy enough at first, the area around the ranch being a bit flat and featureless but Hyrule Field is anything but.  Walking up hills and tall grass starts to tell on Zelda in no time.  A full-length dress complete with high-heel slippers is fine for any formal engagement for one to look their best.  Such attire is woefully unsuited to anything else other than looking pretty however.  She is finding this out every single time she steps on a stone or her dress hem and takes a little tumble.  But she’s gritting through it as best she can and waves Link away when he offers to stay nearby and catch her.  Despite the growing scuff marks on her shoes and gloves as well as rips forming in her own dress she’s determined to weather it like it’s nothing she can’t handle.  But when Malon calls the break, she’s all too happy to sit down and take a rest.

“This looks like a nice spot.”  The trip leader says, stopping and surveying the area.  “Let’s have lunch here, ya’ll.”  Link slows Epona to a stop and sits down.  Zelda plops down nearby and leans against him with no fanfare.

“Are you alright, princess?”

“Zelda.”  She corrects him tiredly.

“Forgive me princess.”  She shoots him a mean look.  “I mean are you feeling alright Zelda?”

The royal figure is struggling to get her breathing under control before replying.  “I’m fine.  Just a bit further than I’m used to walking is all.”  Anywhere out of immediate eyesight also could qualify but she wasn’t going to say that much.  The ability to teleport had done its work spoiling her she would readily admit.  “Don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure?  You did take a few falls.”

“Nothing serious I assure you.”  Her right palm was a bit red and raw under the silk glove from catching herself on one of her aforementioned spills and her left elbow was scraped and swelling from another hard landing but she chalked that up to being out of practice walking.  “Marble floors and brick paved roads are way too level is all that is.”  She decides with a rueful smile.  “Aside from my feet hurting somewhat I’m doing well.”  That she’d lost the feeling in both her little toes an hour ago would be another less known fact.  Rigid dress shoes and any kind of movement outside fifteen minutes is a comfort issue.  Much less on ground that wasn’t flatter than a map.

“Oh, I was just thinking maybe you weren’t accustomed to it.”

“Well if I’d known I’d be doing a lot of walking I would have dressed differently.  But still nothing I can’t handle.”  She replies confidently.

“She’s like a woman on a mission; I don’t think it bothers her one bit.”  Malon agrees.  “I’ve never seen someone so determined.  Just as many times as she went down she was up an’ dustin’ herself off with no help.  That’s somethin’.”

“Why thank you.”  Zelda smiles wanly.  “I couldn’t have taken two more steps but I’ll keep that to myself.”  She thinks still smiling.

“Guess I underestimated you.  If you do happen to need something, just let me know.  I’m here.”

“Okay.”  The regent replies.  “I need a bath, my hair washed, a change of clothes, a massage and someone to carry me to it all.  You think you could manage that?”  She wonders silently.  “But I think I’ll be fine.”  She says aloud.

“Jus’ like I said, she’s got it covered Fairy Boy.  Maybe we should leave her be and eat.”

Lunch starts and Zelda would’ve stoically sat it out trying not to ask for special treatment if Link hadn’t shared with her.  One of his sandwiches and a shared jar of Lon Lon milk serve as refreshment and in no time they’re all ready to go again.

“Alright you two ready to get a move on?”

Link shrugs and stands.  “Whenever you are.”

“Of course.”  Zelda replies, getting up without taking his offered hand.  “We’ll get there in no time.”  She says in spite of the white-hot bolts of pain her footwear rewards her with.

“That’s the spirit.”  They set off towards the forest again.

On this part of the journey they are all going slower than they were.  Having just eaten they are all a bit sluggish and the energy they had at the beginning of the walk is a bit burned out since the sun’s higher up now and it’s hot.  All of which is fine by Zelda since she’s having trouble putting one foot in front of the other and is sweltering in her flowing gown enough to wonder what dehydration feels like.  But the last thing she planned on doing was ask for help.  There’d be a higher chance of her feet falling off first (and it seemed like she’d be shooting those odds soon since they felt like numb bricks encased in silk socks) but things have a strange way of happening.

They came upon a stream in the field on the way later on in the day.  Nothing special, seeing Malon and Link step over it in turn.  Epona didn’t pay it any mind either and Zelda got over it okay but it was the other side that was tricky.  Malon went down the slope in two steps while Link walked with firm traction afforded him by his boots.  The horse took it slow, as not to slip and Zelda followed suit.  However the filly’s shoes are riveted on, the princess’s are not.  So when she had trouble getting her foot out of the mud she pulled forward as not to lose her shoe.  Getting her foot free it sprang forward more than she thought and caught on her dress.  So she shifted her weight backwards to her stationary foot to regain her balance.  That’s when the heel of her right decided it was the end of the line and parted ways with the rest of the shoe.  Being that said small spike was her only traction on the damp, soft ground its departure made for an ungainly fall backwards.  Now with the slope of the terrain backwards and forwards came to a truce and sent Zelda sprawling down the embankment end over end leaving her resting on soft ground tangled in the roots of a tree when she concluded her tumble.

“Impa was right; I bit off more than I could chew.” She thinks with her cheeks hot with embarrassment and eyes tightly shut.  “I can’t take any more.”  She tries to get up and fails, finding her foot still ensnared in her dress and audibly ripping it.  “Just let me get up and get my eyes open I’ll be gone so fast…”  She feels support under one shoulder helping her up.  “It’s okay, I can do it myself Link.”  She manages to choke out.  But he’s insistent and he puts her on her feet.  “I can take it from here, thanks.”  Of course all she planned on taking was an exit but that didn’t happen as support came under her other shoulder and lifted her clear of the ground.  This has her eyes open but no closer to a magical withdrawal, as she’s too stunned to conjure the spell.  Malon sets her on solid, dry, level ground before speaking.

“I have to hand it to you for comin’ as far as you have.  I know it wasn’t easy for you.  I honestly thought you were gonna cut out when you figured you wouldn’t get a ride out here…”

“How’d you know about that?”

“With ears as big as these I don’ miss much.  Instead of leavin’ you stuck it out like a trooper dressed for ballroom dancin’ but hiking on the plains, dirt, grime and all.  You sure are determined.”

Zelda smiles a tiny bit and tries to dust herself off.  But with the state she’s in it does little.  With dirt and twigs in her hair, various rips in her attire, one of which threatens to make a new hemline, mud covered shoes and a dent in her crown that’d make Jack and Jill proud straightening herself out is a losing battle.

“But I couldn’t let you get hurt either.  If I hadn’t have caught you I think you might’ve done more than just bend your crown up rollin’ down that hill like you did.” 

“Going down that hill I could’ve broken my neck…”  Zelda realizes.  “I’m not cut out for this.”  She takes a deep breath to steady herself.  “There’s got to be some serious flaws in this plan if it turned out like this.  I’m in the middle of Hyrule Field covered in filth, my clothes in tatters, and more tired than I can ever remember being.  I should just go home where the ground doesn’t meet me face-to-face every five minutes…”

“I can understand if you want to just go home.  This isn’t what princess-types do I’m sure.  I would too; you look a sight.”  Zelda shoots her a dirty look in spite of it being true.  “But after all you’ve been though it’d be kind of a waste of all that effort, don’t you think?”

“I just traversed most of Hyrule Field curled up in a ball.”  The princess thinks.  “If I go home now it to lick my wounds it means a big bunch of nothing.  I came out here to do something so I can’t just run.”  She nods after consideration.  “I think you have a point.”

“But it’s your choice.  Do you want to stay?”

The lawgiver of the kingdom doesn’t respond immediately.  She rips the last of the hemline of the dress off, leaving it ending under the knee mostly and takes her crown in both hands to bend the thin authority-giving circlet back to wearable.  “I may as well.”  She decides, putting her crown back on and attempting to dust herself off again.

“Well if you stumble one more time I’ma be convinced the world is not only flat but on a slant so…”  Malon picks Zelda up and places her on Epona.  “You need to ride after all that.”

Chapter 4: For the Love of a Clothespin

Back on Lon Lon Ranch the chores are getting done but slowly by the lone worker and proprietor of the farm no less.  And he isn’t pleased about it in the slightest you can be sure.

“First she got some kind of dinin’ thingy to go to then she says she’s going to be busy with that Link feller the next few days.  If I’m the one goin’ to be doin’ all the work round here may as well fire that Link guy if you ask me…”  Talon stops a moment in his task of feeding the animals.  “Wait a second, do we pay him?  Cause if we don’t maybe I shouldn’t complain.  I can’t be too sure…”  He resumes feeding the animals and wonders idly if he’s ever had anyone on the payroll.

“That’d explain why Ingo quit…”

Outside the forest Malon and company have finally managed to arrive.  The sun is low in the sky but there’s still some dusk left.  Zelda dismounts clumsily with Link’s help, as Epona doesn’t have any immediate plans of going into the enchanted wood.  Malon is examining the passage to the area and concluding that it may not have been meant to accommodate her while all eyes are on Link since he’s from the forest.

“We’re here.”  He says.  “Follow me.”

The ladies behind him do as directed.  Zelda pulls off her shoes since she can’t hope to walk with them in that state and Malon bends down nearly double to avoid overhanging branches.  After negotiating the bridge by walking beneath it they’re in the forest.

“Wow…”  Malon whispers.  “It’s beautiful…”

“Indeed.”  Zelda affirms.  “So quiet and peaceful here.”

“This is my home.”  The kokiri-raised man looks around.  “Wonder where everyone is…”  He goes to check Saria’s house.  No answer.  “Hmm…”  He pulls out his ocarina and begins to play.  His companions look at him strangely until he stops as suddenly as he began.  “She’s in the Lost Woods so follow me.  I really don’t think you want to wander around in there forever so stay close.”

“Be serious, Link.  It can’t be forever.”  The princess scoffs.  “It can’t be that bad.”

“It has happened before.  Ask the skull kids if you want.  Believe me, they don’t call it the ‘Lost Woods’ because we can’t find the trees.”  The avatar of wisdom smirks.  “Stay close is all I have to say.”

“How’d you figure out where she was?”  Malon asks, not concerned about losing her way.  “Your ocarina tell you?”

“In a way it did.  That song I played is her song and we can use it to communicate.”

“Interesting enchantment.”  The resident sorceress is impressed.  “I’ll have to ask her about it sometime.”

“Well before we go see her I want to see this treehouse of yours you’re always talkin’ about.”

“Ah, that.  Right this way.”

In a little clearing by itself atop one of the taller sycamores is Link’s abode.  He and Zelda start up the ladder while Malon is busily inspecting the outside.  It looks even less impressive showing it to a pair of adults and he almost feels ashamed as he ducks under the doorway and helps Zelda inside.

“You sure weren’t kiddin’ when you said it was small.”  The immense girl notes, checking another angle.  “I’ve seen bigger outhouses.”

“Yeah well it worked fine when I wasn’t taller than the Master Sword…”

“That’s a long time ago, hon.  You need to relocate.  I know just the place, too.”  Malon smiles a silly smile watching his eyebrows raise.  “And the bed fits too, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

Zelda ignores the two of them and is examining the living area.  “It’s a mess in here, do you ever clean this place?”  She inquires.

“…no…”  He replies with a sigh.

“Socks, papers, seeds, dishes…you can do better than that.”  The princess shakes her head.  “Deku sticks leaning everywhere, sheets on the floor- oh how’d you pull this off?”  Her eyes have opened wide and she sounds startled as though she’s seen a ghost.

“Do what princess?”  He turns to see what his houseguest is staring at.  It’s Bessie that’s the subject of scrutiny.  “Umm, it got delivered…”  It’s plain to see that isn’t enough explanation for Zelda who is giving him the most disturbing looks for his lame excuse.  “Well it did…”  He says, copping out.

 “There’s a cow in here!  There’s no-, it, how?”                

“Wait one minute, did you just say what I thought you did?”  Malon asks from outside.

“That there’s a cow in here?  I believe I did.”

“Hold up, I thought he was kiddin’ when he said it ended up in his room.”  She peers into the window.  “Saints alive how did you do that?!”

“I didn’t do it!”  Link protests.

“It should be fallin’ though the floor…”

“How’d it get through the door?”

“You’re the one with the Triforce of Wisdom; you tell me.”  The embodiment of intellect gives him a chilling look.  “Why you looking at me like that?  I don’t know!”

“Link how did you-”

“Don’t ask me questions I can’t answer.”  The farmer has her lips poised for a stream of them but falls silent by his request.  “Let’s just go see Saria, okay?”

This seems to be fine by his companions.  How he cares for a cow trapped in a room twenty feet plus above ground in a room the size of a large closet that can’t possibly support it is a question left for another time by unanimous decision.  A brief walk through the Lost Woods on Link’s heels finds them at the lagoon and with Saria waiting for them.

“What took you so long?”  The forest girl asks.  “I know you didn’t get lost.”

“These two wanted to see my room and-”  Link begins by way of explanation.

“You know how he got that cow in there?”  Malon bursts out.  “I just gotta know.”

“I don’t have a clue.  I’m curious too.”  Saria admits.

“There’s no natural way…”  Zelda says for the fifth time in the last ten minutes.

“I done been on it the last few minutes and still cain’t figure it out.”

The forest girl shrugs.  “I did have to sneak out of a game of hide-n-snare to come see you.”  She says, removing a rope from around her leg.  “You have something you wanted to talk about?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I’ve been so stuck on someone getting a half-ton animal up a ladder, through a kiddie door and in the corner of a doghouse I nearly forgot.  Forgive me, sweetie.”

Saria giggles.  “It’s okay.”  She looks at Malon expectantly.  “Do you remember?”

“Where my mind was?  It’s in a lil’ hut in a tree with a heifer inside but I’m gettin’ it out of there.  I remember what I came to talk about.  It was about what happened at the lake.”

The emerald-haired one is immediately crestfallen.  “I’m sorry.  I really am.” 

“No, no…”

“I’ve left Link alone.  I know my place.  I’m not trying to cause any more trouble…”  She gets up to leave.

“You mind sittin’ down and bein’ quiet a minute or two?  I came to say somethin’ and ain’t got three words in edgewise yet.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Stop sayin’ that already!”

“I’m- okay.”  Saria takes a seat.

“I said a lot of things that day and what I said to you was flat out wrong.”

“Wrong?  How?”  The kokiri is perplexed.

What Malon was going to say as a reply was lost as another member of the woods tribe came flying in and started yelling.  “Here she is!”  In short order nearly two-dozen other forest children pile in.  “Why’d you leave?”

“I have to talk with a friend of mine.”  Saria explains.  “Could we have some time alone?”  The other kids look disappointed.

“Aww…”

“No fair!”

“Who are you?”  One of the girls asks on the way out.

“My name’s Malon, nice to meet you all.”  She says politely.  Of course a deluge of questions follows since she’s paying attention and they all stop filing out to launch them.

“Are you from outside the forest?”

“What happened to you?”

“Are you magical?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Can we play with you?”

“Whoa, one at a time kids.”  Malon says, trying to get some order.  “I’m not from around here and what happened to me is a long story; blame Link.”

“Hey!”  The hero isn’t content with being named the reason and the children crowd him next.

“Do me!”

“Me next!”

“I want a turn!”

“Only works once, sorry guys.”  Link replies.  “Can’t help you.”  Amid their disappointed groans yet again he feels relief.  “Last thing we need is more of that.  One is enough.”  He thinks to himself.

“Can we play with you?”  One of the tree children asks again.

“I really came to talk with Saria…”  Malon hedges.

“Please?”

“Pretty please?”

“Be nice!”

“I hate to tell you to go but…”  Twenty-two sad pairs of eyes meet Malon’s own.  She doesn’t have the heart to tell them no.  “Aww, why not?”

Link sighs while Saria looks exasperated with her forehead resting in one hand.  Even Zelda shakes her head at the redhead’s decision.  But it’s too late for her to take it back.  They’ve already got her surrounded and climbing up her dress and arms.  A pair has started a race up her pigtails and moving now may not be the easiest thing.  She’s willing to play it off despite her new role as playground though even if she has to talk louder to be heard over happy children.

“When you asked how it was wrong I was tryin’ to tell you that it just was, no excuse.”  She catches an elf kid in one hand falling from her shoulder already.  “I didn’t have a right to say what Link was and can be to you.  And you should be more careful.”  She says, setting the adventurous kokiri down.

“But he doesn’t want to play games that often and I do irritate him sometimes…what you said was right.”  The forest sage sounds sad.

“Next person pull on my ear gets tossed in the water, kay?”  The lady doubling as a jungle gym turns her attention back to Saria.  “A lot of things are irritatin' believe me hon.”

“It’s not that bad, Saria.”  Link mentions, trying to console her.  “Really.”

“Shush you.”  Malon commands, tossing one of the ear-pulling kids into the lagoon absently.  “I’m talkin’ to her; don’t be rude.”  She turns her attention back to the forest sage.  “You’re missing somethin’ babe.”

“Huh?”

“I said what I did and-”  She plucks two climbers off the front of her dress and puts them on the ground.  “-you just cut Link right out of your life.  You two- ow.”  Another pair of Deku kids sail into the water.  “-used to be really close then that just stopped.  Irritation is minor but that is major.”

“It’s not your fault if I took what you said the right way…”  Saria whispers.

“No I- I-”  Malon giggles then plucks an elf from her neck who was trying to find way under her chin.  This one makes a fourth splash in the water.  “Don’t tickle while someone’s talkin’; ain’t you all got any manners?”  She’s back with the young wood elemental relatively quickly.  “Like I was sayin’…no it’s not your fault; it’s mine for saying it.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t do the right thing…”

“I’m gonna hold you upside down a while since you must like the water.  You’re lucky I don’t pull on your ear little boy.”  The outsized hylian turns back to Saria.  “You fairy kids got some kind of issues with listenin’, you know that?”

“What?  Why?”

“Well I can say the same thing over and over and you not listen.  Tol’ this one to stop pullin’ on my ear.  Then I flung him into the water.  Then I flung him and his buddy into the water.  Ow, and I bet this is him now.”  She plucks a Deku boy from her earlobe and looks him over.  “Mmmhmm.”  He traces a lazy arc into the water as she continues talking.  “So now I’ma hol’ this one upside down and see if he gets the message.  Even Link is affected by it though.”

“Hey, I listen!”  He protests.

“Who was talkin’ to you then?”  He says nothing.  “Must be something with these trees round here that makes you hard of hearin’.  As for you, this’ll be the fourth time I’ll be done tried to say what I said was wrong so listenin’ to it must be wrong too.”

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

“And this makes the third time I’ll be done tol’ you to quit sayin’ that.”  She finds another person on her ear and sends him airborne.  “See what I’m getting at here?  I mean the others are content on the ground running circles around me, playin’ on my dress like a trampoline or climbing my hair.  I said the same thing to all of them; some of you are just hard-headed.”

“I’m not trying to be and I’m sorry if I’m irritating you.”

“If I had a clothespin I’d have to use on you for that so count yourself lucky, hon.”  After considering her words the tree tribe leader sighs and nods since an apology is not the answer.  “You’re sharp, you know that Saria?”

“Thank you.”

“How’d you get branches and leaves in your hair?”  One boy asks, after climbing to the top of her head.

“Cause some of the trees round here are kinda short and I bump my head on em.”

“Oooh”

“Pull some of them out while you’re up there would you?”

“Sure!”  He gets right on yanking foliage out of the red locks.  “Thanks a bunch, sugar.”  Regarding Saria again she continues.  “It’s not about whether what I said was right or wrong.  It’s whether I made you do somethin’ you didn’t want to.  If you and Link have issues or irritate each other that’s somethin’ you two have to work out.  It wasn’t somethin’ I should’ve intervened in.”  Someone comes tumbling off of the top of her head into waiting hands.  “I’d have thought you’d have learned by now not to stand up if you can’t balance…”  She says, setting him down.  “But thanks for helpin’ me out.”  She gives him a peck on the forehead and watches him turn red as a ripe apple.  “Tee hee!”

“Ah…I think I understand.”

“I thought you might.  I just wanted to be sure your feelings weren’t hurt. That wasn’t what I was out to do that day.  My first concern was for Link.”

Saria nods.  “I’m glad we were able to talk about it.”

The colossal country girl smiles.  “I’m just happy you understand.”  She sets down a certain light-headed Deku boy and looks around.  “Mind getting your buddies off me or am I spendin’ the night?”  She says, lifting a hand with kokiri hanging from each finger.

“Alright everyone, Malon has to go.”  A collective “Aww…” is heard through the crowd.  “So say good bye and let’s let her go.”

“Goodbye Malon.”  They chirp in unison like any good first-grade class before filing out.

“It was a pleasure talkin’ with you, Saria.”  Malon adds, moving to stand.

“Likewise.”  The forest sage departs.

“Maybe I’ll-”  The titanic teenager slips on wet grass as she’s speaking.  Apparently some of the kids made more of a splash than she thought and she’s having a hard time finding purchase on slick ground.  Link is a little too close and barely gets his shield up in time to collide with a massive foot encased in a boot that does a darn good battering ram impression.  He flies several feet and lands at the water’s edge where familiar eyes meet is own then vanish into deeper water leaving just his reflection.

“Link, are you alright?”  Zelda asks, at his side immediately.

“Uhh…I’m okay.  Head’s ringing but you all don’t have to worry.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah, and how do all four of you do that thing where you all talk at once?  That’s cool.”

Malon giggles in spite of herself.  “I’m sorry Fairy Boy.  I think clumsy is goin’ round.  I know where I got it from.”  Zelda looks guilty but says nothing.

“It’s okay.  Being clumsy is alright, just warn me next time.”

Outside the forest night has already fallen.  The trio is outside preparing for the trek back.

“I really don’t relish the thought of walkin’ all the way back right now.”  Malon admits.  “Even I’m a lil’ bit on the tired side at the moment.”

“You did just serve as a children’s playground.  That may have been a bit enervating.”  Zelda mentions.

“I am surely beat.”

“That makes two of us.”  Link agrees.  “But as much as I’d love to let you spend the night I don’t think I’ve got the space.”

“You’ve got a cow up in there so you might be able to fit me in too.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I don’ see why not.”

“Because it’s impossible?”  Link offers.

“I wouldn’t say that much, sweetheart.  I done seen my reflection and a cow up a tree so I done see it all.”

The princess laughs.  “She’s got you there.”

“Fine, whatever you say.  I’ll be out of a place to sleep listening to you.”

“Should be out of one now but I’ll leave it alone.  We got a whole lot of walkin’ ahead of us.”

“Maybe you don’t.”  Zelda says.

“Hmm?”

“Really you don’t have to princess-” 

“Zelda.”   She insists.

“-Zelda, we’ll be fine.”  Link assures her.

“What are you two on about?”

“I could try to teleport you back.”

“That isn’t necessary-”

“For the love of a clothespin you jus’ don’t know when to be quiet do you?  I am dog-tired.  I don’t know about you.”  Malon looks over at Zelda.  “But I’m not quite the normal person; are you sure you can handle it?”

“Not really but I’ll try.”

“That’s good enough for me.  Whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay.”  Zelda takes a deep breath.  “Here goes.”

“This isn’t-”  There’s a green flash.  “-safe we’d be better off walk…”  Link looks around.  Standing at the gate to Lon Lon ranch with his friends all intact he trails off.

“Thank you so much Zelda.  I might’ve dropped off somewhere in the field to sleep if we’d hoofed it again.”

The sorceress smiles.  “Glad to help.  It’s the least I can do to thank you for allowing me to come with you today.”

“Not a problem; you’re always welcome.  If you plan on dressing better I’d say come back tomorrow.  Got another trip planned and it’s always more fun with another.  If you aren’t too busy maybe you can come with us.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that.  Enjoy the rest of your evening you two.”  The princess bows and vanishes in a green flash of Farore’s Wind.

“Who are you going to see tomorrow?”  Link asks.  “You didn’t tell me who.”

“Hol’ on a sec Fairy Boy…”  Malon bends over, holding her abdomen.  “Teleportin’ make you stick to the stomach too?”

“It used to.  The nausea goes away if you do it more often.”

“More often?  I’ll pass.”  She grimaces at the thought.

“You still didn’t tell me where you planned on going tomorrow.”

“To see your Goron brother.  We got a little to talk about.”

“Darunia?  I think we can visit Biggoron while we’re in the area too.”

“Okay, fine.”  She groans and wants to fall over.  “Ooo…I’ma skip dinner tonight.”

In the palace of Hyrule Impa waits in the princess’s quarters for her to appear.  It has grown quite late and she’s beginning to worry.

“Where is she?”  The shadow sage wonders.  “Link wouldn’t let anything happen to her but I don’t know what would take her so long…”

As if on cue a flash of green and a slight dusty breeze occupies the center of the room.  At the epicenter of the magical current stands a bedraggled woman with the strangest look on her face.

“Princess I was worried!  What took you so long?”  Impa springs to her feet.  “How was your day?”  She takes a second look at her charge.  “What happened to you?”

Zelda says nothing, standing holding her mangled and muddy footwear with stockinged feet on cold marble.  She simply blinks for a couple more seconds then walks into her bathroom without a word.

“Zelda?”

In the bathroom the princess is looking at a full-length mirror.  The person staring back looks the farthest thing from royal.  In ripped stockings and a tattered dress that’s any color but pink and white complete with a crooked excuse for a crown sitting askew adorning dirty hair that falls around a dingy face without even so much as a hairpin left in it to keep it in check she laughs a little in spite of it at the image.

“Zelda, are you alright?”  Impa insists, from outside the door.  “Please answer.”

She goes to run water for an overdue bath.  “I’m fine.”

“Are you certain?  You seem different.”

“Really I’m okay.”  The door opens and clothing comes flying out.  “Bun that would you please?”

“As you wish.  But how was your day?”

“I survived it, that’s all I can tell you.”

Impa shrugs and goes to do as requested leaving Zelda alone in her quarters with a lot of hot, soapy water.  She takes this time to reflect on her day while leisurely cleaning up.

“I wanted to learn what made Link and Malon such great friends.  And to some extent I have.  Her and I happen to be very different and I hate to admit it but some of those differences make her more compatible with him than I am.”

Zelda stops thinking for a moment and listens.  She can hear servants in her room sweeping her grimy footprints away and laying out fresh, clean clothes for her to sleep in.  Perks of being a princess and she smiles a little at the thought before returning to the matter at hand.

“She’s kind and gentle.  She may be tactless but the last thing she is trying to do it is hurt someone.  She’s got an amazingly light touch physically and is easy to talk to.  I suppose that is the crux of how she’s easier to be around than I am.  But why can she do these things when I can’t?  It’s something I’ve almost got an idea on but I’m missing something key…”  Zelda soaks in the water twenty more minutes with no more epiphanies.  She’s out of the tub and just finishing getting dressed for bed when it comes to her.  Rather, when she picks it up.

“This…I’m not like her and this is why…”  The princess realizes holding a new decorative golden headband.  “I wasn’t raised to be what she is because of what I am.”

Zelda sits on the bed and sets the crown on the nightstand.  The three jewels set in its center gleam in the moonlight dull azure, vermillion, and celadon dancing on the walls in the semi-darkness.  This time the colors of the goddesses of Hyrule offer no solace and not for the first time does she wish the cursed circlet away.  Yet her request to change her fate and bloodline is not headed so the reality remains immobile, with a small glint of each color dotting her.

“She’s able to be all these things because she is humble, patient and compassionate.  As a princess it is hard to be humble when everyone bows before you.  I’ve lost some of what it means to be humble and that makes it hard to connect with others.  I wasn’t raised to be patient.  Everyone snaps to the words of a princess and I’ve come to expect that.  I can be anywhere I want when I want doing whatever I want; how could someone remain humble through that?”  She sighs, as the realization is disheartening.  “There’s no way I could’ve done what she did with those children.  It would’ve driven me up a wall to have them all over me as though I’m some kind of commoner playmate and I would have made them leave.  She just smiled and bore with it even when they were getting in the way.  I would’ve lost my patience long before; I’m no babysitter.”  She gets up and pulls the curtain all but closed to keep some of the wind out.  Now just a ray of light gets into the room and refracts off of the sapphire in the crown.  She shakes her head and gets back into bed under the covers.

“She has compassion that I do not.  She has a sense of empathy that is amazing.  She can pick up on bad vibrations in a way that’s almost uncanny.  I can barely stop focusing on how I feel long enough to come close to that while she can tell how I’m feeling just by looking at me.  When I was on the run Impa taught me tricks of how to be a sheikah and to be wary.  That I need to trust my instincts and watch out for myself.  Though I felt sympathy and pain for the plight of my people she warned me that if I were captured before my job was done all would be lost.  For seven years I know I was self-centered and for the guise I put on I couldn’t let on that I worried every moment for Link.  He couldn’t know who I was or it could’ve messed with his drive and focus.  He didn’t need to worry about me; his attention needed to be on the task at hand.  It’s not that I didn’t care but I didn’t ask how he was doing I admit that.  I couldn’t be there for him like Malon was I understand that.  Though I don’t want to accept it I realize that deep down I was more worried for my people and the fate of my kingdom than I was for him.  I guess that’s selfish in its own way.  I didn’t show the kind of compassion a person should when the truly care for someone and that is probably my biggest mistake and what sets Malon and I furthest apart.  I didn’t and she did.”  Zelda rolls over and stares at the crown and the pale blue beam emanating from it asking her patron goddess one question. 

“How can I make up for that?”

In the halls of the Zora one person is in a foul mood once again.  She’s off to complain to her father and even though he can see her coming there’s no escape.  Something about being in the same spot all the time makes it easy to find you.  So he takes a deep breath and prepares for the worst.  When she plops down next to him pensively he acknowledges her to get it over with.

“Ruto, what has you in such a mood?”  The leader of the aquatic race asks, already privy to the likely reason.

“He took her to the Kokiri Forest and they had a picnic in Hyrule Field.  They spent the whole day together!”

“Ah, this is what bothers you?”

“Of course it is!  He’s mine, daddy!  She can’t do that!”

“She just did.”  He thinks silently.  “The word ‘mine’ must mean different things to different people.”

“I tried to show Link she’s clumsy and dangerous but he didn’t care.  He said he didn’t mind clumsiness.”

“What exactly did you do to show him that?”

“I put water on the ground so she slipped and fell.  She tripped right into him though I didn’t want that to happen…”

“That wasn’t very nice.”

“All’s fair in love and war.  You told me that.”

“Ah, did I?”  She nods.  “I must be getting forgetful but of course you’re right.  Sometimes being nice doesn’t work.  So you’ll have to find another way to get her out of the picture.”

“Like what?”  Ruto asks eagerly.

“I don’t have the slightest.  You’ll have to use your own discretion on that.  My only advice is be resourceful.”

“I can do that but you don’t have any ideas?”

The king zora shrugs.  “Whatever works is all I can say.”

Ruto stands looking like she’s thinking very hard.  “Thanks Daddy…I think…”  She wanders off to her quarters preoccupied.

“You’re always welcome my dear.  Just be careful.”

“I’ll try.”  She turns a corner and disappears.

“I’m not sure if this is going to turn out well…”

Chapter 5: The Perfect Plan

On the farm the next morning the itinerary for the day is being set.  With the chores done all that’s needed is a plan of action before they get going.  The resident hero and dayplanner is running through his checklist now. Preparation is the best weapon to battle anything with as far as he’s concerned and taking Malon anywhere is worth getting done right since way too much can go wrong.

“You wanted to visit Darunia, right?”  Link asks, double-checking.

“Mmmhm.”  Malon replies.  “Is there a problem with that?”

“Not really.  You ever been to Kakariko before?”

“No…”

“We’ll be passing through there then up the trail…you still wanted to visit Biggoron, right?”

“I suppose, why all the questions?”

“Got to have a plan, right?  Just trying to think ahead and see how long it’ll take.”

“It’ll happen how it happens.”

“Well I’m trying to allot for at least one food break, possible riot, maybe a natural disaster…”

“Be serious Fairy Boy!”  The massive maiden chides.

“What else can I tell you?  Link shrugs.  “Things happen when you’re around.”

“I hate to agree but you do have an effect on places.”  Comes a voice from the gate.

“Oh, good mornin’.  I was wonderin’ if you were comin’ with us.”

“Princess Zelda!”  Link bows hurriedly.

“Stop that.”  Zelda says with a grin.  “Do I look like a princess to you?”

Link has to get up from kneeling and facing the ground to check.  “Uhh…”

Zelda does have a point.  Wearing a khaki-colored button down tunic with the sleeves torn off and midriff showing along with matching shortened pants and boots she hardly looks a member of the royal family.  With her hair mostly tied under her barrette-style hat and gloves covering the Triforce of Wisdom given the chain, canteen and pouch hanging from her belt you’d think her a warrior from another land.

“I think you look ready for an adventure.”  Malon decides.  “Or at least ready to hike a good ways.”

“That’s the effect I was going for.”  Zelda says with a smile.  “I think I’ll be better prepared today.”

“You’ll probably get up the mountain path faster dressed like that.”  Link admits.  “But what’s with that bandage?”

The foreign-looking hylian appears surprised then looks at her left elbow.  “Oh, that?  For effect, nothing really.”  Actually it still hurt from falling on it yesterday.  It had healed but still hurt to bend and she had it to stop it from moving too much but she wasn’t going to tell Link that.  “And that reminds me…”  She walks over to the gargantuan girl.  “Sit down, I can’t reach that high.”

“Hmm?”  Malon obliges with a curious expression on her face.  “What are you on about?”

“One can hardly go into town sporting ropes as ribbons…”  Zelda replies, tying an orange ribbon around one braid and a pink one around the other.  “Even you have to adhere to fashion some way.”

The farmgirl giggles.  “You might be right.”  She looks at her new accessories.  “These are hardly normal sized ribbons, where did you get them?”

“Just had them lying around.”  Zelda replies casually.  To be truthful she had them and a lot more cloth streamers lying around after one of the banquets she’d thrown for Link but she wasn’t mentioning that.  “Thought you’d get more use out of them than I would.  Forgive me for not matching them better.”

“No complaints here hon.  Thank you as a matter of fact.”

The princess smiles.  “By the way when are we heading out?  Link still has chores to do?”

“No…he’s plannin’ for what to do in case of a windstorm or avalanche still.  Waitin’ on him.”

Sensing that meticulous planning is going to be unappreciated Link sighs and shakes his head.  “If you two are in that big of a hurry we may as well go.”  And the trio sets out for Kakariko Village.

The morning is cool and the three of them are making good time.  Zelda is more than able to keep up so she keeps pace with Link in front of Malon, who has never been to the village.  He notices her next to him and decides to ask about her choice of attire.

“Hey, what made you pick what you’re wearing?”  Link asks.  “It’s not your normal…thing you’d wear.”

“Fine dinin’ makes for terrible hikin’?”  Malon offers.

“I’m talking to Zelda, not you.”  The hero says with a grin.  “Don’t butt in.”

“Touché Fairy Boy, I’ll mind mine.”  She smirks back at him.  “You’ve been waitin’ for that I know.”

“The nerve of some people…”  Link brings his focus back to Zelda not paying Malon’s chuckle any mind.  “Why’d you pick that again?  Think there was an interruption when you were about to tell me.”

Trying not to laugh as the two of them go back and forth is a trial but Zelda manages it.  “Yesterday didn’t go so well so I thought I needed a change.  I figured that castle workers probably wore something usable since they work and move around all day.  This is a gardener uniform mostly.  It even came with the canteen and the small pouch.  I added the hat, gloves and chain for my own use while I had to cut the sleeves on the whole thing to fit and add a little style.  I don’t think I did too badly either.  It was either this or overalls and that wasn’t happening.”  She shudders at the thought.

“Hcy, I think overalls are alright!”  Malon protests.

“And if I worked on a farm maybe I would too.  As is I think you’d look pretty funny in a pair of overalls right now.”

The scarlet-haired girl thinks it over.  “I’ll give you that.  Though I’m curious, what is that chain for?”

“It’s a sheikah chain.  They’re used to defend yourself and a couple other utility purposes, like an extra arm.”  Zelda extends it and waves it around magically without actually swinging her hand too much.  “Not everyone is quite as imposing as you are so we’ve got to be inventive.  Brought it along just in case.”

“I’d swap places with you in a heartbeat.  This is more headache than it’s worth.”

“You might miss it when it wears off.”

“If it ever does.  I’m startin’ to think it’s permanent…”  Malon sighs.  “It really bothers me sometimes.”

“Is there a cure for what happened to you?”

“I honestly don’t know.  I’m thinkin’ so but I’m not really sure anymore.”

“I’ll look into it and see what I can find.  I don’t know what else I can say.”

The huge hylian sighs again.  “You don’ have to say anythin’.  It’s not somethin’ you have to worry about.  Thanks for the thought.”

“I want to help though.  You’re my friend.”

Malon smiles a small sad smile.  “It’s much appreciated but you don’t have to bother yourself with it.”

Zelda knows better than to argue the point any further.  The trio reaches the village in silence.  It isn’t like they went unnoticed though.  When you have the world’s tallest person as company you tend to attract a little attention.  So the townspeople crowd around in no time and Malon waves timidly for lack of a more appropriate thing to do and unable to think of something spur of the moment to say.

“Is it always like this?”  Zelda whispers aside to Link.

“You had guards posted when you planned the tea party so that was better than this.  But from what I heard it was bedlam her first trip to the market so I’d have to say yes.”

“I see why.”

“Umm, could some of you all give me a lil' space?”  Malon says finally.  “I can hardly walk with you all in the way.”  She makes an annoyed face.  “That does mean get your children off my ankles please.  Come on, I know you can hear me.  Ugh…”  Her cajoling is having little success and she’s trying not to startle the populace with yelling or touching them but her patience is wearing thin at an amazing rate. 

“Follow my lead.”  Zelda whispers.

“Okay, but what are you doing?”

Zelda doesn’t reply.  She takes a deep breath and starts shouting.  “Make way, make way!  If you’ve never been a footprint before I suggest you move!”

“Move aside, need some space here!”  Link yells, taking a cue.  “Large object in motion let’s move over people!”

“Deaf people are two-dimensional, think about it and start stepping!”

“Nothing looks better flat!  Keep moving, stay pretty!”

Malon is finding the whole thing hilarious but it is having an effect so she starts moving forward.  Of course now her personal riot police have to step up their game.

“No offense but move over or get hurt!”  Link bellows, pushing some people aside with the Mirror Shield.

“Common sense folks!  She’s forward, you’re sideways!”  Zelda yells, roping a pair of kids with her chain.  “The other side you two, out of the way!”  She reiterates, tugging them out of her friend’s path.

“Boot leather isn’t your buddy!”

 “We’re not in the pancake business so let’s keep it clear!”

“If she trips over you it’ll be something you never forget believe me.”  Link says to an awestruck pair.  “Give her some room or you’ll find out for yourself.”  He reiterates, pushing them a bit to the side.

“Personal space is an issue here.”  Zelda says, shunting people out of the path they’re creating.  “Hers is a little more pressing than yours and I suggest you donate and move to the side.”

“It’s a good cause people, be generous!  You don’t want to see her cry do you?”

“Link!”  Malon whines.  “Come on!”

“See?”  The hero says, pointing up at Malon’s face.  “Don’t make her pout, have a heart!”  More than a few of the townspeople find that funny and start shuffling out of her way out of what is going to be called ‘kindness’ while she actually does pout a little to humor the crowd while stifling another giggle.

Slowly but surely the crowd begins to disperse.  The logic the two of them present in such a catchy way gradually sinking in until Malon can not only walk but finds a place to sit as well.  It is at this time the leader of the village approaches them.

“Hello you all.”  The elder says by way of greeting.  “I just wanted to thank you two for keeping things under control when your friend entered our humble village.”

“Not a problem.”  Link replies.

“Thank you, Link and who are your friends?”

“I’m Malon and it’s a pleasure.”  She says cheerily.

“And miss, you are…”  The elder asks, addressing Zelda.

“You don’t recognize her?  She’s-”

“Eve.”  Zelda says, cutting Link off.  “Link and I met on his travels outside of Hyrule.”

“Ah.  Thank you and good to make your acquaintance.  It’s good to see sheikah are just as able and kind even outside the kingdom.”  She bows at his comment while he walks off to attend to town affairs.

“Why’d you do that?”  Link asks.

“You think we need everyone bowing and scraping and asking questions?”  Eve replies.  “There’s a reason I’m in disguise.  Believe me it saves time.”

“Why save time?  We’re right on schedule.  Riot, next we have…”

“Fairy Boy, can I have a bite to eat?”

“A food break and I’ve still got a timeslot for a crisis open…”

“Funny.”   Eve chuckles.  “If you can handle all that I’m going to check on something.”

“Alright, we’ll be somewhere nearby.”  Link starts looking for a vendor to buy out while Eve walks off.

“Impa said that there was a potion lady around here…and this may be a long shot...”  The masquerading hylian finds a small building tucked in a corner of the village.  “But here we go.”  She goes inside.  Within the dark establishment dozens of bottles and beakers of all colors line the walls.  A strange smell is in the air and the visitor isn’t certain that she wants to know what it is.  A person is sitting behind the counter, regarding her silently so she decides to go for it.  “I was wondering if you could help me.”

“What is it that I can do for you?”  The old lady replies in a hoarse voice.  “I am in the business of potion making, nothing else.  What do you require?”

“I know this, it’s why I’m here.  I need your expertise.  I have a friend who’s in need of an antidote.  She’s much bigger than normal and I was hoping you could do something about it.”

“Your friend is larger than she should be?”  The chemist asks.

“By any standards yes.”  Eve/Zelda replies.  “I’ve said that already.  It’s becoming quite the inconvenience to her.”

“I imagine that’s why you’re here.  Content people don’t come looking for antidotes.”

“Granted, but can you help her?”

“I’m not sure.  How large is your friend?”

“I am not exactly certain-”

“Then I cannot help you.”

“Surely there must be something you can do?”

“Not without an idea of what caused it.  I don’t give out medicine for mystery ailments.  I can’t see why you’d even bother to waste my time.”

The would-be sheikah’s eyes narrow.  “I’ve had about enough of this lady’s attitude.  I want to help but she is grating on my last nerve…”  She shakes it off and tries another approach.  “So you need to know how tall my friend is?”

“A rough approximation, yes.”  The pharmacist replies. 

“I am not so good at those since my best guess was pretty far off but she’s right outside if you would just take a look.”

A brief glance outside reveals Malon sharing lunch with Link and several of the local children, all of whom are in her lap.  They are all laughing and talking while the lucky merchant is counting his windfall since not only did he sell all of his goods but didn’t make change either.  The potion worker nods as though it is no surprise.

“Your friend has had some magic beans it appears.  I thought those died out several years ago…”

“Can you help her or not?”  Eve insists, not interested in a horticulture history lesson.

“A simple remedy really.”  The elderly one takes a beaker of red potion and mixes it with a sickly yellow liquid.  The end result is orange and bubbles slightly.  “All you had to tell me was she had some magic beans and we wouldn’t have had to go through all that.”

“If I had known I would have told you…”  The customer seethes, holding her tongue.

“Well what is important now is whether or not your friend wants to be normal again.  Does she?”

“Of course she does!”  She snaps.

The old one cackles at her reaction.  “I’m not the one you have to convince.  She has to want it for it to work.”

“In that case there should be no problem I’m sure.”

“Have her drink this and it should work by the end of the day.”  The pharmacist hands the princess the bottle of orange substance.

“Thank you.”  Eve takes it and leaves a tip for the service.  “I don’t trust this hack for one second…”  She thinks, leaving the shop.

Eve rejoins her friends just as they are finishing their break.  They start up the mountain trail soon enough and are traveling in silence until one of them remembers something.

“Hey Eve…”  Malon asks, using Zelda’s new alias.  “What were you off doin’?  Or is it none of my business?”

“Actually, I’m glad you reminded me.”  Eve pulls a bottle out of her pouch.  “I asked the potion lady for an antidote.  She gave me this.”

“Really?”  Malon sounds hopeful.  “You think it’ll work?”

“Not really.  Something about her I don’t like.” 

Her face falls.  “But it shouldn’t hurt to give it a shot, right?”

“I don’t suppose so.”

Malon shrugs and empties the container in one gulp.  She actually briefly turns green as she bends over double.  “What’s that, teleport in a bottle?”

“What?”  Eve is confused.

“The worse it tastes, the better it works, right?”  Link offers.

“Well she said it should work by the end of the day.  Underline ‘should’.”

“Even a little hope is better than a life sentence I guess.”  Malon says, getting over her nausea.  “Thanks for tryin’, Eve.”

“If this doesn’t work we’ll find something.  I promise.”  There is no reply out of their incredible comrade and they continue onward.

They’re making good time up the mountain path.  Smooth for the most part even the more craggy parts do little to slow them down.  Surprisingly nimble over the rocks Eve/Zelda stops to give Link a hand a few times since he’s got the arsenal of the Hero of Time and isn’t quite as light on his feet.  It goes on in relative silence like this aside from the sound of Malon taking special care to step on every Tektite and grind them for good measure for a little while until they’re about halfway up the trail.

“Why are you doing that?”  Eve asks, curious as to the extermination of the spiders.  “What did they ever do to you?”

“What’d they ever do to me?  Oh, that’s a good one let me tell you…”  Malon replies shaking her head with her eyes closed.

“Oh no…not that…”  Link thinks to himself.  “Anything but that…”

“I’m listening.”

“Well I ran across a blue one the other day and I’ve never been a big fan of monsters but that one really crossed the line…”

“What happened?” 

“It was the day I stopped by to see you.  You don’t want to run across one of those when you’re bathing believe me.”

Eve gasps.  “Oh my goddesses…”  She shudders at the thought with her sensibilities damaged.

“You’re tellin’ me.  And that’s not the worst of it.  Would you believe that Link-”

“Do you hear that?”  Link asks his companions abruptly with his ears to the wind.  “Listen.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t hear nothin’.  I was talkin’ as a matter of fact, why are you interruptin’?”

“I hear something and I don’t like the sound of it.  Come on now, listen!”  Link says imperatively.  “Forget what you were talking about, please…”  He prays silently.

“I think you’re being rude cutting her off like that.”  The tan-clad one mentions.  “I was listening to what she was saying.”

“He’s doin’ it on purpose.  Someone doesn’t want me to say what I was about to.”  The enormous girl giggles at his expense.  “Isn’t that right?”

“It’s not that!”

“Nice try, Fairy Boy.”

“This is important!  You have to listen!”  He all but begs while pointing up the side of the mountain.  “Up there!”

“As I was sayin’…would you believe that-”

“Hang on a minute, Malon.  I really do hear something.”

“Oh is that so?”  She doesn’t sound convinced.

“Shh…listen.”  Eve commands, perking up her ears.  “Sounds like fireworks…”  She guesses.

“Mmmhmm.”  Malon agrees, after listening a second.  “Cain’t imagine what the occasion is…hey you feel that?”

“Feel what?”

“Why’s the ground shakin’ all of the sudden?”

“Oh no…”  Link moans.

“What’s happening?”  Eve demands.  “Someone tell me!”

But there’s no need for an explanation as a low rumble is swiftly growing more audible and closer with each passing second.  The ground beneath them starts to quake and tremble visibly while a few stones fall from above, landing in front of them.  Pebbles, harbingers of much greater things.”

“AVALANCHE!”  Link exclaims.

“What?”  Eve can’t hear over the turmoil.

Link jumps in front and draws the Megaton Hammer.  As boulders start coming down the path to them he’s knocking them aside or smashing them to powder with the heavy weapon.  “Take cover!”

“Huh?!”  The sound of the weapon striking rocks and boulders clashing overhead drowns him out.  Eve is feeling disoriented as one thing she can’t do is lip-read.

“He said take cover!”  Malon bellows, throwing incoming boulders from above to the side and warding them off with her arms.  “Can’t you hear?”

“There isn’t any!”

“Get behind me!”

Eve/Zelda considers moving from between Link and Malon to behind her but it’s easier said than done.  With Link and incoming stones darting every direction in front of her she doesn’t want to get in the way and get hit by an errant swing or wandering rock.  Malon behind her isn’t much better.  With her eyes to the sky she isn’t watching where she’s stepping and the last thing Eve wants is to be trampled or kicked over the edge of a cliff.  But to the rear of the rockslide is safer than her current position so she makes a bid for it.  Right at that moment a chain explosion resounds like a divine thunderclap from far above and knocks her from her feet.  Springing back up with surprising agility she scrambles behind Link then moves to run backwards.  Imagine her dread when a shadow falls over her and Link screams, flying past her to land unconscious while a boulder of phenomenal size bears down on them both.  Eve closes her eyes prepared for the impromptu end and thinks it’s an awful shame to be found in disguise on one’s last day walking the Earth when a breeze blows by and two seconds later her teeth are still chattering so she opens an eye to see what the hold up with destiny is.

Malon is standing over her, feet planted and braced against the roaming slab of granite.  “I’d think maybe you’d get a move on…”  She groans with sweat and effort etched onto her face.  “Take Fairy Boy and go!  I’ll handle this!”

Looking at the way she’s struggling against the monumental stone Eve/Zelda has her doubts.  Given the trenches Malon’s boots are slowly but surely tearing into the ground they are well founded.  “There’s no telling how long she can hold out.”  Eve thinks.  “If I go and come back it’ll be to late.  And if that thing finds its way into the village it’ll be catastrophic…”

“What are you waitin’ for?”  The Atlas-enthused girl demands.  “Disappear already!”

“Afraid I can’t do that.”  Eve says, placing her hands on the stone.

“What do you think you’re doin’?!”

“On three let’s try to force it over to the side.  One…”

“You’re crazy!”

“Two…”

“What in tarnation are you still doin’ here?!”

“THREE!”

“Aahhh!”

Eve/Zelda had always been telekinetic since she was young.  It comes with knowing magic and it had gotten stronger over time.  However she knew full well she wasn’t going to be able to boost a couple dozen tons of rock with it alone.  Even with Malon’s help she was on the lonely side of the craps table odds wise but maybe together they could do it.

“We can do this!”  Eve cries, pushing out with her magic.

“Famous last words!”  Malon retorts, straining with all her might.

It isn’t as easy as she made it sound that’s for sure.  Eve is using all of her otherworldy powers and Malon is trying to literally move a mountain with her bare hands.  Even for the headache that one of them is getting and the scrapes on the fingers the other is obtaining they actually lose some ground but don’t find themselves prematurely more petite for it yet.  As luck would have it no epitaphs would be written that second.  With a final burst of effort the pair send the behemoth boulder bouncing into Death Valley.  That done they all but collapse, exhausted from the ordeal.

“That went well.”  Eve pants.

“You’re crazier than a bedbug.”  Malon wheezes.

“It worked it what counts.”

“No arguin’ that.”

Link groans and they both look his direction, having nearly forgotten about him in the madness.  Eve gives him a once over while Malon does a good job of being worried.

“How is he?”

“I’m a magician and disguise artist not a doctor.  He’s got a bruise on his head and a scrape to go with it…but he’s breathing.”  Eve undoes the bandage from around her elbow and ties it around Link’s forehead.  “He needs this more than I do and that’s the best I can do for him here.”

“Then we’d better get a move on.”  The behemoth backwoods belle picks up Link in one hand with his gear in her other one.  “Let’s go.”

Trekking up the now cracked and broken pathway uphill the pair is making bad time.  Over one of the more treacherous spots Malon hauls Eve but in interest of time just strides on with two passengers instead of putting her back down.  From her new spot atop her friend’s shoulder they cover a lot more ground much faster.

“You know something?”  Eve says seemingly out of nowhere.

“What’s that?”

“You never did finish saying what you were talking about before we got an interlude of raining stones.  What was that about?”

Malon pauses, thinking of what she was talking about and looking at the unconscious Link nestled in one arm with mixed feelings.  “That?  It surely was the strangest thing I’d ever dealt with.”

“What happened?  It almost sounded like you said Link was involved with it…”

Malon laughs.  “I couldn’t say that.  Heavens knows he’d turn hot enough to leave more burn marks on the trail than those bombs did...  I don’ think he’d want me to tell you either way though.  Not with him not even awake to defend himself.”

“Oh…now I’m dying to know.  Please?”

She shakes her head.  “Ask him when he wakes up.  That’s his call.”

Eve sighs.  “Spoiled sport.  I bet he’ll never tell.”

Malon shrugs, nearly displacing the faux sheikah from her perch.  “What I want him to tell me is somethin’ I’ve been wonderin’ a few minutes now since he’s pretty good at thinkin’ fast…”

“What’s that?”

“I wonder if he was ready for somethin’ like this to happen.”

“You think Link’s plan covered all this?”

The colossal crimson-crowned one considers it carefully.  “I got a feelin’ it might have and it would’ve been nice if he’d let us in on it.”

“That’s for sure.”

They reach the entrance to Goron City.  Ducking under the archway Malon lets Eve down and goes inside.  Neither of them gets a second glance since gorons get to be pretty big it’s not seen as unusual but that changes when she starts yelling.

“Someone take me to who’s in charge here!”  Malon hollers.  “There’s somethin’ seriously wrong!”

“You’re looking for Darunia?”  A passing resident asks.

“Sounds about right.  Is he in charge?”

“Yeah.”

“Then could you take me to him or somethin’?  I got a real serious issue.”

He does one better and the Fire Sage comes up to see her.  He double takes when he sees who’s come to visit but smiles anyway.

“Hey, it’s been a while.”  Darunia says heartily.  “What’s your name again?”

“Malon.”

“Right, how could I forget?”  He turns to her companion.  “Who’s your friend?”

“E-”  Eve/Zelda begins.

“That’s not important right now.  I came to talk to you but that’s on hold too.  I want to know why on my way here there was an avalanche that nearly did away with us.”

“I could’ve at least introduced myself.  That wasn’t called for…”  Eve thinks to herself, somewhat irked at being not noted.  “I am still important whether I’m a princess or not.”

“Avalanche?”  The goron leader looks confused. 

“That’s right.”  Malon says with a distinctly not pleased look on her face.  “Rockslide, explosions, and the whole nine yards.  I don’t juggle boulders as a habit so start talkin’.”

“But I don’t know what you’re talking about.  I didn’t schedule an avalanche.”

“Look, Link just got hurt tryin’ to keep us safe in all that.  I want an explanation cause the side of a cliff doesn’t just up and decide it wants a hug.  I heard bombs goin’ off plain as day.  Someone wanted that piece of mountain to slide my way and I want to know why.” 

“I’ve never seen her like this.”  Zelda thinks.  “She’s livid.  I know she’s protective but…”

Darunia looks the definition of apprehensive with Malon glaring down at him like that.  But he pulls his nerve together despite it.  “I know you’re angry but listen to me.  I don’t know what happened.”  Her eyes narrow more.  “I really don’t.  It’s not like I don’t care but I wasn’t there.  You can see it’s outside my control can’t you?”

“Look, I may be big but I’m not dense.  You may eat rocks but I don’t think you’re dense either.  I think you’re a nice person but you could be more helpful.  Tell me somethin’ useful.”

“As much as I’d like to I can’t.  No one’s done more for Link than you have and I appreciate that so I wouldn’t have had a hand in that.  I like you; someone needs to watch brother’s back.  Best advice I can give you is to ask Biggoron if he saw something.  Rocks as big as you’re talking about only come from up near the top.  He lives at the peak so he may be of more use.”

“My head…”  Link groans.

“Welcome back, Fairy Boy.”  Malon replies softly.  “You doin’ okay?”

“Ah, perfect timing brother!  Your friend was just losing patience with me.”

“Ugh, what did you do now?”  The savior asks, rubbing his forehead.

“I didn’t do anything!  But ask your friend and she thinks I tried to bury you in a rockslide just now!”

“No…he wouldn’t do that.  He’s my brother.  He’d give me a hearty pat on the back and floor me first.”

“That’s what I said but she didn’t look too convinced.”

“Oh…”  Malon looks contrite.  “I’m sorry for jumpin’ to conclusions then.  I do that sometimes and…”

“It’s more than alright!”  Darunia says, back in high spirits.  “You left me in one piece so what’s the harm?”

After getting Link some red medicine for his head and a new Goron Tunic since his old one burned up they’re back on the trail to the peak of Death Mountain.

“Why’s my head still hurt?”  Link moans, trudging up the trail.  “It’s ringing like a bell.”

“You sure you up to walkin’?”  Malon asks, anxiously.  “I can carry you if you want a break.”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s no problem so you don’t have to be so stubborn.”

“I’m fine.”  He insists.

“Don’ you give me that.  I got you if you’re havin’ trouble or feelin’ dizzy.  Last thing I want is you fallin’ off this here mountain actin’ like an obstinate mule.”

“My head feels like it’s been hit with a hammer, that’s all.”

“I would think so.  You right bounced off that last rock you hit and I swore I saw that hammer of yours come back and smack you a good one.”

“There needs to be medicine for headaches…”

“You need to be more careful is what I think.”  Zelda pipes up.

“‘Sides, if there was medicine for headaches where would I go?  You want to be rid of me that badly?”  The cherry-topped one makes a sad face.

“You’re not a headache.”

“Really?”

“Of course not.  You don’t have to take headaches on a tour of Hyrule.  I’d have to say you’re closer to an annoying little kid.”

“Annoying little kid?”  Malon sounds incredulous.

He sighs.  “I do have to take the little part back but the rest should fit.”

“But they are headaches!”

“No, they are young people.”

“That give you headaches!”

“I think you have issues with kids.”

Zelda/Eve is watching the exchange with growing amusement.  “It’s cute watching them go back and forth.”  She thinks with a smile to herself.

“The truth hurts doesn’t it?”

“It does not!”

“So you admit it?  I knew it!”

“I am not a little kid!”

“Oh, anything but little I know…”  Malon growls while Link laughs.

“It is entertaining isn’t it?”  Comes a voice from beside Eve.

“Quite.”  She turns to the speaker.  “You’re investigating too?”

Impa nods.  “You could notice commotion from the castle so I thought I would look into it.”

The arguing pair notices Eve standing off to the side.  Seeing Impa they decide to settle matters later.

“Good afternoon Impa.”

“What brings you all the way up here?”

“The same thing you’re after.”  The shadow sage replies.  “Clues.”

“Find anythin’?”

“Not really.  I’ve got very little go on; Biggoron wasn’t much help.”

“I’ll take it from the horse’s mouth if you don’t mind.”

Impa shrugs.  “As you like.  He didn’t give too much to base anything on but good luck.”  She turns around and vanishes in a ninja oriented flash of light.

“Biggoron should be right up here so let’s see what he has to say.”  Link says, taking a deep breath.  “Hey Biggoron!”

“Who is he talking to?”  Eve asks.

“Beats me.”  Malon agrees.  “If you’re trying to get ‘em to come out of the cave over there maybe you should yell into it instead of up at that cliff.”

“He is out here already.  Impa was just talking to him so I know he’s not sleeping.”  Link takes another deep breath.  “Hey Biggoron you’re not fooling anyone!”

“He’s foolin’ me.”  Malon says.

“Unless he’s invisible no one’s here.”

“Come on, you’re making me look stupid!”  Link pleads.  “I’m not going to buy any more stuff from you if you keep this up.”

“You hardly ever buy anything.”  Comes a gravelly voice that echoes off the granite around them.

“That’s not the point.  This shouldn’t take long anyway.  Humor me.”

“This makes three times in the last hour that my nap’s been interrupted.”  An immense goron face comes into view over the edge of the cliff Link was yelling at.  “What do you want?”  The rock eater asks crankily.

“Basically what you know about the avalanche that happened just a little while ago.”

“The sheikah lady just asked me that.  Why didn’t you get her to tell you what I said?”

“Because my friends wanted to hear it straight from you.”

“Fine but tell them to stop gawking, it’s impolite.  Wake someone up then make google eye faces at them, no manners…”

“Hey could you two tone it down, I think you’re bothering him.”  Link requests.

“But the mountain’s talkin’…”  Malon says in an amazed voice.

“Oh goddesses…”

“Well the mountain won’t keep talking with you staring at him like that.  Save your awe for later.”  He turns back to Biggoron.  “I thought your name would be a dead giveaway.  I didn’t think they’d be like this.”

“It’s okay, I’m awake now.  It’s not like I have anything better to do even if they don’t put their eyeballs back into their heads.”

“I didn’t think I could feel small without an antidote…”

“I never…”

“Don’t pay any attention to them.”  Link says dismissively.  “Tell me what you saw.”

“You know my eyes aren’t so great.  Especially in daylight.”

“I know.  Most gorons live underground where it’s dark so bright light isn’t that good for you.  Just as best as you can describe.”

“Well first it was what I heard.  I heard Bomb Flowers going off.  Lots of them real close together.  Bomb Flowers only grow in clusters of up to three in an area usually so if that many as I heard went off someone was setting them.”

Link nods.  “Did you see who it was?”

“I know they were a bright color.  It was too bright for me to make out any details.  They were moving fast too.  They even set this one cliff to fall all by themselves.  I was going to snack on it later too...”

“You’ve got no kind of description except really bright?”

“If it happened at night I’d be better able to tell you.”

“How about tall, short, fat, thin?”  Biggoron shakes his head to them all.  “No idea?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Did they drop anything, leave anything behind?”

“I don’t think they had anything with them but they did leave some footprints…”

“Show me.”  Link commands.

“…but they’re gone now.”  Biggoron points.  “But they left them right here and a few other places…”

“Right here?”  Link points.  “How would they leave footprints here?  It’s solid rock.”

The vast goron shrugs.  “That’s all I saw.  After they got finished they ran down the mountain and were just gone.”

“You can’t leave footprints in rock unless you press real hard…I know cause I just did it myself…”  Malon muses.  “And those don’t just go away.”

“Footprints of any kind don’t just vanish into thin air.”  Eve agrees.

“These ones do.  Them and whatever did them too.”

“Thanks for your help.”  Link says.  “Get some rest.”

“Okay.  I hope it was useful.”  Biggoron turns back over and returns to sleep.

Back on their way down the mountain the sun is hanging low in the sky.  The trio is understandably tired given the disaster earlier.  With no leads on it and the primary goal accomplished they are going home.

“Link, I got a question.”  Malon asks, breaking the silence.

“Go for it.”

“I didn’t come up here lookin’ to start no trouble but earlier I may have went overboard with your brother…do you think he took it the wrong way?”

“I doubt it.  He doesn’t scare easily and like you said, he’s not stupid.  He could see where you were coming from I’m pretty certain.”

“Really?  Cause if you hadn’t woke up when you did I’m not sure what would’ve happened…”  Link laughs at the thought.  “What’s so funny?”  She asks, sounding annoyed at being made light of.

“You.”  He replies, still chuckling.

“Why?  I could’ve lost my temper and that would’ve been bad.”

“You could’ve lost your temper but as to how bad it would’ve been, ha.”

“I think he had a pretty good handle of what I was capable of or he wouldn’t have been so nervous.”

“Nah.”

“Nah?  What do you mean ‘nah’?  I could’ve- hey, stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry.”  He’s still smiling.  “You’re funny sometimes, you know that?”

“It’s not a laughing matter.”

“It may not be for you but I’m getting my share, that’s for sure.”

“You’re not makin’ sense.”

“Well I know you better than my brother does.  What he thought you were capable of and what I know you were capable of are two different things.”

“What do you mean by that?”  There’s no doubt she’s offended now.

“Tell me what you would’ve done if I hadn’t stepped in.”

“Well, you know…”  Malon says with noticeable unease.

“I must not.”  He replies, shaking his head with palms up.  “Let me in on it.”

“Umm…I was getting pretty riled so I’d have done somethin’ rash…”

“Like what?”

“You wouldn’t have liked it believe me.”

“Oh really?  If you’re so big and bad why don’t you just tell me?”

“…”  Link chuckles lightly at her lack of a response.  “It’s not funny!”  She says petulantly.

“I’m going to guess if I hadn’t woken up you’d have probably made Darunia and most of the city half-deaf.  You’d have raised some righteous hell to get a response but that’s about it.”

“How you know?”

“Because I know you.  You aren’t impulsive and violent.”

“Says you.”

“You’d have to have caught him bashing me over the head with a boulder to just freak out and try to snap him in two like he was thinking.”

“…”

“Am I right?”

Malon sighs.  “I suppose you are.”

“He can be a knucklehead sometimes but I didn’t think you’d jump all over brother for it.”

“Being a knucklehead must run in the family.”

“So?  Your point?”

“You’re silly.”

He shrugs.  “I thought I was a hero…”

“I thought you were a kokiri but I guess I was wrong on that.  Things happen like that sometimes.”

“I thought you were a little kid but…wait I think I still do…”

“Stop that.”

“Can’t do that.  It’s all about truth, justice and the balance of the Triforce.”  He says, striking a pose.  “Truth’s a part of my duty.”

“I’m gonna have to add lookin’ silly to that.”

“Hey!”

“Please do.”  Eve agrees.  “That was hardly called for.”  She giggles.

“Come on!”

“Call it like I see it.  I have to tell the truth; the Hero of Time is my role model.”

“…”

“I wanna be just like him when I grow up, like any other little kid.”

Eve giggles again.  “You two never quit.”

“Of course not!  Who else would bother?”

“Even though the pay’s lousy we’re always on.”

“She’s just mad she gets paid in vatagebles.”

“Vegetables.”  Malon corrects.  “An’ they say my accent’s bad…”

They go back and forth all the way down the mountain.  It’s like a comedy act.  They’re poking and prodding each other just for fun and by the time they get to the bottom of the path she’s got him over one shoulder hanging upside down for some reason and he’s still making smart remarks despite bouncing around staring at the ground.  As they arrive at Kakariko the sun finally dips below the horizon and the light-hearted mood changes as Malon sighs.

“Something wrong up there?  Link asks.  “I’d have a better idea but I’m too busy memorizing what the ground looks like.”

“Well the day’s over and I’m still up here.  Guess that potion’s a bust.”  The still statuesque girl replies.

“I can’t say I had that much confidence in it.”  Zelda/Eve mentions.  “I’m sorry I bought it.”

“It’s okay, I had to hope.  I just thought somethin’ that tasted so horrible had to work.”

“Looks like it didn’t feel the same way.”  Link sighs upside down.

“Ah well.  It’s not so bad.  At least I’m used to it.”  Neither Link now Zelda are convinced of that but they know better than to bother her about it further.  It’s hard enough as it is they can both agree.

“I’m about to go home, want me to drop you two off?”  Zelda offers.

“No, thank you.”  Malon replies all to quickly.  “Appreciate the offer though.”

“She doesn’t do nausea well as you may have guessed.”  Link explains.  “Which I must be good at since I haven’t lost my lunch bouncing around looking down the last fifteen minutes.”

“Ah, I see.  Well take care on your way home you two.  Set him back right side up, too.”  The princess says with a grin.  “Good night.”  She vanishes in a flash of green.

“You didn’t have to tell her.”  Malon says. 

“You know she was curious.”

“If I wanted her to know I could’ve told her.”

“You took a couple drops of medicine and went all grass-colored on us earlier.   She’d have figured it out anyway.”

“I could’ve lived with that.”

“I suspect you’ll live with this.”  Malon snorts at that statement.  “Don’t disappoint me.”  Link says with a smirk.

“Let’s go, you.”  She gets started walking back to the ranch.

“Hey, let me down would you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“At least turn me back over the right way!”

“I’m thinkin’ you’ll live through it.”  She giggles.  “So no.”

“Aww, come on!  The princess told you to!”

“Is she here?”

“No…”

“Then I suppose you’ll survive…”  She giggles again as he groans.  “If you’d been awake you’d know we had a nice conversation about that lil’ bathin’ incident the other day…”

“You didn’t...”

Malon smiles fiendishly.  “Wouldn’t I?  I’m big and bad aren’t I?”

Link’s face falls.  “…”

“Oh, come on!  You know me better than that.”  She stops giving him that insane hundred-watt grin for a second.  “I know it’d have made you all but die if I tol’ her.  It took me a second to catch myself at first though.  I gotta say I think that rockslide may have saved your life.”  She giggles yet again.  “And you’re up here tellin’ her I got a weak stomach.  I didn’t tell her you like peepin’…”

“I don’t!”  He protests righteously.

“I could rephrase what I said and say that you like what you saw…but I’m not goin’ to.  I don’t think I need you to have a heart attack right here upside down.  You must not think I’m so quick if I didn’t figure out what all you were on about when you nearly fell out the other day…”

“…”

“You’re a lot of things…and an adorable shade of red is one when you’re bein’ all embarrassed.  But I wouldn’t dare do that to you in front of anybody too badly.  There’s a limit to teasin’ and bein’ out and out hurtful.  As it was, she did ask about it while you were takin’ that lil nap but I tol’ her either you’d explain it or that would be it cause it was out of my hands.  I wouldn’t do that to you.  It’s your decision, hon.  It’d be plain wrong for me to tell her somethin’ like that without your permission.  I’d have to dig a hole and get a head start to be that low to turn round and betray you like that.”

“Why’d you scare me like that though?”  Link asks with visible relief, even though still upside down.

“Cause it was funny to see you worried about somethin’ other than me for a change.  You looked like you caught a terrible fright when I said me and the princess had been talkin’ and I couldn’t resist.”

“You spend way too much time picking with me you know that?”

“I don’ have much else to do, sugar.  All I do is sit on my butt most of the time nowadays, what else can I do?”  She asks innocently.

Link isn’t fooled by her angel act.  “You can put me down first.”

“Alright…”  She does as requested.  “But I do wonder what Zelda would think if she knew about that…it would make for interestin’ talk the next time she’s feelin’ like tea wouldn’t it?”  He makes a face best compared to one of a person who’s just swallowed a live fish whole.  “There’s that face again!  You’re so cute on the spot like that, Fairy Boy.”

“Quit…”  He says in a defeated tone.  “You win already.”

Malon sighs.  “You’re no fun.  I always win.”  But even with what’s she’s said there is still an insistent smile tugging at her face the rest of the walk home and Link can’t help but share it as they walk back to the ranch to turn in.

In Zora’s Hall one person is getting ready to take a nap.  Having been busy most of the day and still not managing to accomplish her goal she is both exasperated and exhausted.

“That girl does not know when to quit!  Jeez is she a pain…”  Ruto flops onto her bed.  “Need another plan, she’s so persistent…but I need a nap first.”  The aqua princess falls asleep easily given how tired she is.

Suddenly she’s sitting on the shore of Lake Hylia.  It’s around late afternoon with the sun at a low point in the sky.  It’s a reddish orange cast scene and the shadows dance in a way on the water that is beautiful.  She can see Link off to one side looking at the horizon.  So she calls out to him so they can share this beautiful time together.

“Link, my love!”  Ruto calls.  “Beloved, over here!”

The hylian does not respond.  It’s like he’s too focused on his task to hear her.  He’s still looking skyward as she keeps yelling.

“Can’t he hear me?”  Ruto wonders.  “Ah well, I’ll go to him.”  She shrugs and stands but feels a tap on her shoulder.  “What?”

“Someone’s not payin’ attention.”

Ruto turns around.  “You…”  She says in an utterly disgusted tone.  “Get away from me.”

“It’s apparent he’s not listenin’ to you.”  Malon continues.  “I suggest you take a hint and jus’ sit back down.”

“You wish.”

“I don’ got to wish.  Hey Link hon!  Come over here!”  His head turns as the red-haired girl calls his name and he smiles before heading her direction.  “I already got him.”  She says with a smile back at the zora.

“You thief...”  Ruto says, glaring at the shorter hylian.  “That’s impossible.”

“Cain’t steal somethin’ that was mine to begin with.”

“Link is mine.  It is destiny.  You can’t dispute it.”

Malon giggles.  “Really?”

“You don’t even have a shred of hope with him.”

“Oh is that right?”  The farm girl says looking back up at Ruto with that same warm smile.  “Then why is he wrapped around my little finger?”  She holds up her right hand and sure enough Link is there clinging to her pinky now.  “He looks pretty mine to me.”

“Trickery!”

“No trick.  I can’t give him to you.  Hold your hand out.”  Malon tries to shake Link off into Ruto’s waiting hands.  The green clad one holds tighter than glue on a closed vice with a terrified look on his face.  “I cain’t even make him go near you.  That’s not my fault.”

“You’re trying to turn him against me!”

“I’m not tryin’ to do anythin’.  I’d read the writin’ on the wall if I were you.”

“I won’t let anything come between Link and I.”

“You never had a chance.”

Ruto takes this time to go completely ballistic and tackles Malon before she can react.  In seconds they’re on the ground with the zora trying to choke her.

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”  Malon taunts in a strangled gasp.  She smiles a fiendish smile next.  “Doesn’t it?”

“Shut up!”  She tightens her grip.

“Doesn’t it?”

“Shut up!”  Her fingers hurt they’re entangled so tight.  But the echoes won’t just go away.  Not until her opponent’s eyes finally close and the smile fades is there silence.  Then just as suddenly as it began the dream is over.  Ruto awakes feeling refreshed and recharged.

“If only it were that easy.”  She mumbles. 

Chapter 6: Errors In Judgment   

The next morning the sun is streaming into the royal quarters.  It is quite sunny and light is inundating the room through the curtains. Despite that the majestic occupant is still asleep as she spent the greater part of the night down in the castle library doing some searching through the old volumes.  Scouring the ancient Hylian tomes and grimoires had been grueling and boring but did yield a couple candidates for spells to reverse Malon’s condition.  Zelda actually was eager to try them but one can hardly tell that now since she’s still asleep.  However the royal canopy bed provides little cover from the daylight so she rolls over slowly and wakes up.

 “I’m still tired…”  The princess moans.  The morning star doesn’t take that as an excuse and she gets up to stretch.  “It’s late.”  She says, looking out the window at her solar alarm clock.  “Nearly ten already.  I should get a move on.”  Freshening up and donning her ‘Eve’ disguise she teleports away.  “I wonder if they were headed somewhere today…”  She considers, walking up the path to the ranch.  “Guess not.”

The farm is quiet except for the morning birds and horses wandering about.  It’s a still, peaceful scene and the morning mist hasn’t quite lifted from the rain last night lending it special color.  Malon is sitting against the side of the stable with Link in her arms, asleep.  She’s actually napping too but comes to a semblance of awareness hearing someone walk nearby.

“Mornin’ Eve.”  The immense ranchgirl says groggily.

“Hi.”  Eve replies.  “How are you two today?”

“Sleepy.  Had a hard time gettin’ to bed last night so I don’t feel like doin’ much.”

“I see.  Do you plan on heading anywhere today?”

“Yeah, but I don’ really wanna.”

“Comfortable as you are?”  Eve smiles.  “I wouldn’t blame you.”

“It’s not that, though I don’t want to move.”  Malon sighs.  “I planned on visitin’ Nabooru today but don’ feel too keen on it.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Gerudo Valley isn’t too far from here and Link’s been done with the chores for at least hour or two…just putting it off.”

“Well while we’re just sitting here…”  Eve stands in front of Malon with her eyes closed, murmuring an incantation.  She finishes with a flourish and points a flashing finger at the drowsy girl.

“Wha?”  The scarlet-haired one blinks a few times.  “What are you on about?”

“Hold on, let me try this…”  Eve murmurs another incantation and spins pointing toward the sky at the end.  A thin beam comes down from the atmosphere and strikes Malon on the forehead.

“That tickles…”

“I think this is it.”  The magician mumbles.  “Come on…”

The ray of light brightens for a bit then fades away.  The illuminated one looks around after it disappears.  “Was that supposed to do somethin’?”

Watching her midnight studies end in futility Eve sighs.  “I thought so but I guess I was wrong.”

“What were you tryin’ to do?”

“I was trying to cure you.”  The sorceress says as though it is apparent.  “It wasn’t a light show.”

“You don’ have to do that.”  Malon replies, not minding Eve’s tone.  “I’ll worry about it.”

“I felt bad about that whole potion rip-off.  I was up all night looking for these charms…positive that one of them would’ve worked…”

“Thanks for tryin’ anyway.  I really do appreciate it.”

“I know I was close.  The equilibrium spell wasn’t but I had something with the purification one.  But the other versions are in Old Hylian and even I have trouble reading that.”

“Stop frettin’ over me already.  You’re makin’ me feel like a nuisance.”

“I’m sorry.  I’m not trying to but I really do want to help.  This bothers me.”

“It bothers you?  It rained last night; what do you think of that?”

It takes a few seconds for the meaning of that statement to sink in.  Remembering that the oversize ruby-haired girl has a hard time seeing the underside of a roof without being crammed in a place like a sardine she sighs, showing her sympathy.  “That couldn’t have been fun.”

“I had trouble sleepin’ through cold water on the face and had to make Fairy Boy go inside so he didn’t catch somethin’ out here with me but that’s alright.”

“Out here with her?  They sleep together?”  Eve/Zelda is having a hard time keeping her eyes from turning to wagon wheels inside her head.  “I should just give up…”

“Point is I can deal with it, okay?”

“Yes, of course…”  She says absently, going into deeper shock.  “Why did- what- how?”  Her mind is having trouble computing.  “I thought I had a chance?”

“It’s a lot easier with him to keep me company.  I’d be batty already if I didn’t have him around.  So as long as he feels like dealin’ with me I’ll be alright.”

Zelda nods dumbly while her brain is grinding to a high decibel halt.  “I saw all the signs, why am I surprised?”

“I’m not sure he knows how much him bein’ here means to me.”  She says softly, looking down at Link in her arms still resting no matter being the subject of conversation.

“I’d think he’d have a pretty accurate idea by now.”  Zelda thinks, still nodding.

“I care about him a whole lot too…”  She smiles while toying with the hero’s hair idly.

“I gathered.”  Zelda replies.   “So could a blind person.”  She adds mentally.

“I think I love him.”  Malon almost whispers, giving him a little squeeze.

“I’m sure you do.”  The princess replies softly.  “The blazing letters across the sky were a good hint.”  Her mind mentions on the side.

“It’s not the same way you feel about him, though.”

“What was your first clue?  That you know each other better than your own reflections?  Or is it that you spend all day nailed together and bantering like a happy couple?”  She keeps this to herself however.

“But I wouldn’t be able to get through this without him.”

“Or without air and other things vital for life…”  The princess remains silent.  “Wouldn’t be realistic to expect that.”

“That doesn’t bother you, does it?”

Zelda shakes her head.  “Why should it?  It’s been true this entire time.”  She realizes.

“Are you okay, hon?  You aren’t sayin’ much.”  Malon sounds worried.

“Oh, I’m alright.  Just thinking.”  Eve/Zelda replies.  “About all the blatant signs I ignored, like his favorite color being red.”  She reflects to herself, looking at Malon sitting against the wall with her pigtails coming over her shoulder and draped down her front right over Link.  “I’ve got to have some kind of brick in my skull for missing that…”

“Are you sure you’re feelin’ alright?”  The auburn maned one looks concerned.  “You look like somethin’ is eatin’ at you.”

“I’m fine really.”  Zelda insists.  “Aside from having the Triforce of Wisdom and feeling like a ninny I’m peachy.”  She thinks with a remorseful smile.

“You want to talk about it?”

“I don’t have anything to say.” 

“You sure?”

“Yes.”  The princess says aloud.  “You just said it all…I simply cannot believe I had to wait until you spelled it out for me…”  She ruminates darkly. 

“Okay.  I let you be.”

The sage of knowledge smiles a smile that is somewhat forced.  “Forgive me Nayru for being so foolish.”

A few moments pass in relative silence.  Eve/Zelda sits nearby in the shade of a small tree still pondering while Malon is resting against the building with Link in what could be called a cuddle and dozing lightly along with her companion.  The sun starts climbing overhead and the still damp hylian sighs, noting the time after what could be twenty minutes…or more than an hour.  No one is paying attention.

“I may as well wake him up and get this over with.”  Malon says to herself.  “Rise an’ shine Fairy Boy.”  She shakes him while prodding him gently.  “Come on, got things to do.”

“But I’m done…”  Link protests sleepily.  “You said so…”

“Yeah, well I take it back.  Up you, come on, sleep time’s over.”

“No fair.”

“I’m goin’ to go stir up some trouble an’ I know you want to come with.”

“Not really.  Can we do it from here?”

“Don’t be silly.  I can hardly start a ruckus from this here spot.  Get up.”  She starts poking his stomach.

“Alright, alright already.”  He gives an attempt to sit up and she lets him down to his feet.  “You’re starting a commotion doing what?”

“We’re payin’ your Gerudo friend a visit.”

Link’s face visibly drops.  “On second thought I think I have work to do…”

“Link!”

Even in the stunned state she’s been in for the last few minutes Eve/Zelda gets a giggle out of that.  “I guess no one is looking forward to today’s field trip.”  She realizes.

“Running a farm is a full-time job and you should know that.”  Link mentions in his defense.

“Well takin’ care of me is too!”  Malon fires back.

“Don’t I know it?  I’m overworked from it all.”

“You were just asleep!”

“Even saving the kingdom was a part-time gig.  I was able to be an ace bowler, world’s best archer and fisherman too on top of the Hero of Time thing.  I barely get a nap in between time working with you.”  Her expression warns him that now may not be the time for humor.  “But that’s okay; luckily I’m dedicated to what I do.”  He adds as an afterthought.

“Luckily for you I didn’t go upside your head silly boy.”

“I’ll pass, don’t need any more lumps.”

“I wouldn’t hit you; you know that.”

“I also know I don’t want any more knots up top.”  Link takes a little stretch, preparing to walk.  “You ready to go?”

“As I’m gonna get.  This’ll be the first time I kicked a hornet’s nest on purpose.  On second thought, maybe this isn’t such a good idea…”

“No, it isn’t.”  The hero affirms solidly.

“You are doin’ a good job at bein’ annoyin’ today.”  Malon mentions, giving him a displeased look.

“You will just have to pardon me if I think walking near someone who probably doesn’t like you and definitely has ready access to a large number of sharp objects is on the ‘when I’m feeling lucky’ list.”

“You’re not bein’ very supportive.”

“Says who?  I just asked if you were ready to go.  I certainly plan on marching into certain doo- I mean taking you to visit her.  Is it well thought out?  No.  Do you have company?  Why even ask?”

“Do you think I should jus’ quit while I’m ahead an’ leave well enough alone?”

“Not really.  I mean trying to smooth things out is the right thing to do.  That just doesn’t make it smart.”

Malon smiles at his logic, laughing gently at herself  “I guess we may as well go then.”

“I’d hate to think you woke me up for nothing.”

A few minutes later finds Link, Malon, and someone who may or may not be from the capital are on Hyrule Field headed to bandit territory.  Of course their royal guest is just tagging along out of curiosity but all of them are prepared for the worst.

“Why are you two so worried?”  Zelda/Eve asks.  “Nabooru isn’t crazy.”

“That’s a laugh.”  Link says under his breath while Malon giggles.  “Where have you been?”

“Do you know something I don’t?”

“I can start with she thinks fencing with live steel is fun.  As in ‘I’m happy so let’s have a good time hacking at each other!’”  He says with a big, toothy smile.  “Think about that.  I know that little tidbit from experience.”

“That’s not good.”

“Duh!”

“That’s the goin’ opinion round here.”  Malon agrees.

“I got a lot of stitches that all seem to agree her sanity is on vacation.  So let’s imagine her in one of those less than warm and fuzzy moods.”

“I see.”

“I could see through my tunic after I was done.  You never want to be wearing something someone is cutting holes in.”

“I’ll try to remember that.”

“It’s not that hard to remember.  I just appear to have forgotten it for today; I am heading there aren’t I?”  He sighs.  “Enough of me being a genius.  There’s the bridge over there.”

“An’ there goes the lookout to go get the welcome wagon.”  Malon notes, watching the lone gerudo at the bridge run back into the settlement at their approach. 

“Shall we then?”

“I’d hate to miss my own party.”

“This is serious.”  Zelda/Eve thinks.  “There could be some real trouble starting and they’re actually going to go through with it?  This is insane.”

“Hey, you coming with us?”  Link asks, noticing Eve slow down.  “You don’t have to; just want to know.”

“May I ask why we’re doing this first before I answer?” 

“That’s easy.  You see that bandit girl go to get backup?”

 “Yes.  This could get complicated at the very least.”

“Well that’s why we’re here.”  Malon says gravely.  “I’m not anyone’s enemy.  So I figured I might as well straighten it out since we live in the same country and all.”

“Oh.  I suppose I understand but…”  The costumed one looks apprehensive.

“No one’s askin’ you to stay round if things get messy.”

“I don’t even want to stay around if things get messy.”  Link mutters.  Malon pokes him lightly from behind.  “Hey, I got a Thieves Guild membership riding on this!”  He turns back to Eve.  “But seriously we already know what’s at stake for you so if you have to go we understand.”

“Jus’ let us handle it.  No need to get your hands dirty.”

The trio arrives at the bridge.  With Malon in the lead they start walking across.  The suspension’s ropes hold strong and the bridge does very little wobbling.  However with one more step back to solid ground the huge hylian finds one of her feet plunging through the foot planks and the rest of her as well as her party soon follow.

“Not this again…”  Malon sighs, hanging with one hand on the land’s edge.  “I thought I had it this time…”

“Again?”  Link asks, suspended from one of her pigtails.  “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“I think so.”  Eve says as she looks down at the water with one of her arms grasped in Malon’s free hand.  “It may be relevant.”

“Did I mention the last time I was on this bridge it snapped in half and slammed into the wall with me hangin’ from it?”  The farmer asks lightly.  “I thought I might’ve…”

“No, you didn’t.  Believe me.”  Link replies, irritated.  “Would have been nice to know BEFORE I stepped on it behind you.”

“I wonder how it managed to slip your mind until just this second actually.”  Eve adds, still oddly calm.  “I would think you would remember something like that.”

“Well this is better than before.  The whole thing broke apart-”

“I’m dangling really high over a somewhat dry riverbed.  Let’s talk more when I’m on less air and more dirt.”

“I concur.”  Eve seconds.

Malon declines responding to that, as her companions are less than pleased with her at the moment.  She swings the princess up to safety first then pulls herself and Link back on terra firma.  “I was sayin-”

“Shh.”  Link commands.

“Please.”

The three friends walk forward with caution and arrive at the central part of the settlement in no time.  Every thief lady in Hyrule able to stand is in attendance and in spite of the high concentration of people there is a hush hanging over the area that even a tomb could not touch.  All three of them take a deep breath and stand, ready for anything.

“Aren’t you going to bow?”  Nabooru asks, breaking the silence.  “I am the ruler here.”  Link and Eve kneel briefly while Malon takes a curt bow, not taking her eyes off the archers.  The spirit sage shakes her head.  “You can do better than that, Red.”

“First off, my name’s Malon not ‘Red’ and I don’ think so.  See these balloon poppers?”  The gargantuan girl gestures at her pointy ears.  “I’m Hylian and Zelda’s my princess.”

Next to her Eve feels a burst of pride in her disguise in spite of the gravity of the situation.  “I’m flattered she’d say that.”  A smile touches the corners of her lips as she stands in the middle of the brewing conflict.

“So you come all the way to my territory to disrespect me?”

“No, but I don’t suppose you planned on bein’ too civil yourself.  I ain’t seen someone yet pull off a good introduction with swords since you surely didn’t know my name.”  She looks around.  “But I guess you all want to give it a shot anyway.”

“I know why you’re here.  You’re not going to catch me off guard.”

“Cut the crap could you, hon?”

“Oh no…”  Link thinks morbidly.  “Don’t press her buttons…”

“What did you just say?”

“I just tol’ you to cut the crap, hon.  I know you can hear me; it’s quiet enough round here to hear a pin drop.  So if you could do me that favor I’d be pretty grateful.”

“You want some trouble don’t you?”  Nabooru asks and all the gerudos tense up.

“Here we go…”  Eve thinks, inching her hand to her chain.

“I didn’t say that, you did.  Fact of the matter is if I wanted to start some calamity I’da done it already regardless of the peanut gallery you got goin’ here.”

“You have a lot of nerve…”

“Not really, jus’ shootin’ straight with you.  Which I hope your friends up there are good at.”  She says, looking at the rooftops with their longbow sharpshooters posted.  She’s tempted to give them a grin for the hell of it but decides against it.

“You must be insane; look at the odds.  I don’t care how strong you are.  Even you can only do so much.”

“I was just makin’ an idle comment for their sake.  I’m not scared of you.”

“You’re pushing it.”  Link thinks, noting a few of their would-be adversaries flinch as though they’re getting too edgy to stay cool.

“I don’t think she knows what she’s doing.”  Eve cogitates, surveying the crowd’s mood.  “This is going to get out of control pretty soon.”

“You are one arrogant and over confident girl.”

“Why?  I’ll worry about my limits when we get to them.  Don’t look like no time soon though; everyone’s still standin’ around lookin’ pretty far as I can tell.”

“You want to get this started?!”  The spirit sage yells.

“I’m going to put a stop to this.”  Eve thinks, moving to take off her gloves.  “I’m the princess; they have to listen to me.”  But she feels a tap on her shoulder before she can reveal the Triforce of Wisdom and looking over at Link he shakes his head.

“Let her handle it.”  He whispers.

“Up to you.”  Malon retorts calmly, not noting the exhange between her companions.  “It’s too hot to run and I’ve gotten rips in my dress for stupider stuff.”

“Certainly not to be stylish I see.”  Nabooru fires back with a scathing smirk.

“Comes of wearin’ enough fabric to catch onto somethin’.  Not a thing you’d be too familiar with I know.”

“You’re treading a thin line girl.”

“You all are the ones treadin’ the indecency line really, and not to well I might add.  If I was wearin’ as little of my outfit as you were I could get most of my money refunded and watch Fairy Boy’s eyes hang out of their sockets all the time on top of that.”  Link turns a tiny bit red at that.  Not enough for anyone to notice, just to add to his nervousness in a time when there’s plenty of it already.

“You’re not making any friends here talking that kind of mess.”

“I didn’t come here to talk fashion with you. If ya’ll think that shreds and see-through is in style that’s fine.  Whatever floats your boat.  Rope ‘em in with their tongues hangin’ out if that’s your thing.  I didn’t come out here to make friends either.  You don’t have to like me and I didn’t ask you to.”

“Then why are you here?  I’m getting sick of being insulted.”  The head of the bandit tribe sounds impatient.

“I’d be sick and have the chills too if I styled a worn bed sheet with holes in it and only had on enough of it to cover one side of me halfway.  I’d probably end up disowned and arrested if I went out in public lookin’ like you with that much of me showin’.”  Even from here she can see that her barb has hit home.  “I’d be too red all over to make a look like that work.  Somethin’ about havin’ shame does that.”

“Why are you here?  Make it quick.”

“Glad I got your attention.  I came here today because I thought things between us weren’t clear.  And standin’ in the middle of a showdown ready to start I suppose I was right.”

“I don’t like you.  You don’t like me.  What else is there?”

“If that’s the case then why don’t we get goin’ already?  I got a farm to run so I don’t got all day.”

“That’ll do it.”  Link thinks, preparing to make an evasive dive.

“Now the fun begins.”  Eve thinks preparing for a similar move.

But nothing happens.  The vacuum left by Malon’s ultimatum isn’t followed by battle cries or swordplay.  A breeze blows through and you can trace its path through the immobile crowd watching clothing ruffle and a small trail of dust float through the air.  Tension thick enough to make the small gust whistle on it’s way from behind the vast visitor all the way past the reigning ruler heading back into the desert is supreme at the moment.  Their eyes lock but the suffocating and pregnant tranquility is still undisturbed.

“I guess it hast to be somethin’ if you got such high attendance and no commotion poppin’ yet.”  Malon states, looking around once again.

“We’re enemies, believe me.”  Nabooru reminds her.

“I’m not buyin’ it.”

“You can’t tell me what I think!”

“If I thought you were my enemy I’d have gone straight for you.  No chitchat or trash talk and just had done with it.  If you thought I was your enemy you’d have either had your friends light me up on sight or you’d have gotten our little event goin’ when I told you to cut the crap.  Right or wrong sugar?”

Nabooru laughs, an awkward sound to hear so genuinely given the atmosphere.  “I guess you’re right on that.”  She motions the warrior ladies to stand down and it feels a lot better in the always blistering heat to stand about the center of the hideout.

“If you know I’m not your enemy then why the big turnout?”

“I wasn’t sure I could trust you.”

“I ain’t ever been nothin’ but honest.  We ain’t gotta be buddies for you to know that.  Is there one thing I’ve said you’re unclear on?”

“No…”

“Then why the mistrust?  You must’ve thought I was goin’ to make history the next time you saw me.  Why?”

“…I was warned.”

“By who?”                                                                                             

“A fellow sage.”

“Well whoever they are they don’t know me too well.”

The head of the bandits looks contrite by now.  “I’m sorry about the mix-up.  I didn’t think you were really a bad person.”

“If you did we wouldn’t have had this conversation.”

“You’re right.”

“I’d tell your fellow sage they’re a bad judge of character.”  Malon turns to leave.  “Take care, Nabooru.”

“You as well Malon.”

After the standoff ended and the trio teleported across the bridge against Malon’s wishes the three are on the field again.  The near disaster is the topic of conversation still and they’re coming to some conclusions after rehashing it at least four times already.

“I don’t know how you pulled that off without making a battleground of Thieves Hideout.  I thought you’d pushed her over the edge for sure when you called her out.”  Link confesses.

“I did too.”  Eve/Zelda adds.  “I was ready to intervene but Link told me to let you handle it.”

“I appreciate that.  I wasn’t sure I had it covered the whole time but if you’d stepped in it woulda got confusin’ and I don’t think it would’ve went that much better.”

“It would have stopped the conflict.”

“Not much else though.  My list of enemies wouldn’t have gotten any cleaner.  Dealin’ with it head-on was the only way to get across without screwin’ it up.”

“Speaking of enemies, you must have at least one if someone tried to start that conflict.  And I suspect I know who-”

“Ruto.”  Link and Malon say together.

“-it is…you know already?”

“Mmmhmm.  I figured it out yesterday.  I told Link an’ he agreed with me.”

“How did you find out?”

“It was easy.  When Biggoron said it left footprints that vanished and was too bright to make out I got to thinkin’.  Fairy Boy thought it was some kind of angel or spirit if it and its footprints just poofed and was so bright an’ hard to see.  But I remember that zoras are real plain and white mostly so there isn’t much to see.”

“What about the footprints?”

“That was the easiest part.  She got pretty far from the water but all those fish folk stay slick and shiny looking.  The only footprints that disappear off rocks are wet ones when they dry up.  Since Ruto is a sage she’d be able to pull off a vanishin’ act just as soon as she’s out of eyesight.  That and I know she cain’t possibly like me one lil’ bit of course.”  Malon smirks slightly.  “I got the commonsense I was born with still.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  Zelda asks feeling left out of the loop.

“I think that’s my problem.  You’re not my chaperone, Fairy Boy is.  So don’t worry about it.”

“I could’ve talked with her…”

“I can stop by and ask her to quit chuckin’ boulders my way just as easy as you can.  The lake’s not too far from where I stay.”

“She tried to kill you.”

“I think she knows.”  Link whispers to Zelda, intentionally a tad loud.

Malon smiles a small smile.  “I’ll deal with it believe you me.”

“But this is serious!”

“Don’ worry about me; I’m tougher than I look.  Ruto is 0 for 2 on me and besides I’ve got Fairy Boy here.”  She says, patting him on the head.  “He’s got my back.”

Link nods.  “No doubt there.”

“You can baby-sit me too if you want but I don’t see a point.  It’s not like she’s going to pop out from behind a tree like sheikah.  She’s not lookin’ for a fight.  I’ma be the first to admit I’m pretty hard to miss if she was.”  She giggles at her own expense a second before turning serious again.  “If me and Link get in over our heads you’ll be the first to know though.”

Zelda sighs as there doesn’t seem to be any convincing the old-fashioned girl of the danger involved.  “I have a matter at the castle to attend to but don’t get into another catastrophe without me.”

“Can’t promise that but thanks for your support.”

She looks at the mis-matched pair and shrugs.  “I’ll be right there if you need help.”  She vanishes in a burst of Farore’s Wind without any more small talk.

“She’s a lot nicer than I thought.”  Malon mentions as they walk up the path to the farmhouse.

“Just got to get to know her.”  Link replies.  “But it’s not hard to be nicer than you thought she was.”

“Fair enough.  I remember I didn’t think too highly of her at first.”

“Good to see your memory isn’t gone yet.”

“Go do some work, stop pickin’ with me.”  The statuesque scarlet-haired one commands with a grin.  “Be useful or somethin’.”

“Since you asked so nicely.”  He replies, returning her smile.  “I was going to go and be worthless till you mentioned it may better to actually do something.  There goes my nap…”

“You’re silly.”

For the afternoon all Link has to do at the moment is feed and water the animals.  He doles out lunch for the farm residents but has trouble giving them water.  Trying all of the three spigots yields about two cups of water total.  The ranchman is more than a little troubled and his supervisor picks up on his unease from where she’s sitting in the way she tends to.

“Hey, is somethin’ wrong?”  Malon asks from a distance, still sitting down.  “You look worried.”

“I was going to water the animals but I think there’s a problem.”

“If you carry the buckets one at a time you’ll be fine.  I am not gettin’ up and helpin’ you with ‘em this time.”

“Is that going to make them magically full?  Because there isn’t any water coming out of those pumps.”

“That’s strange…”  She gets up and checks for herself, trying each one in turn.  “All three of ‘em are givin’ me just vapor…that’s plain odd.”

“Normally I’d say the same but I’m thinking this is about right.”

“When is it right for all the pumps to up and quit?  There isn’t a drought.”  The proprietor looks annoyed at Link’s suggestion.  “This had better be good.”

“It is right when the Water Sage says it is right.”  He replies slowly.  “You understand what I mean?”

“Oh, I see.  Makes sense.  I guess I should go talk to her since I’ll be thirsty later.”

“Sounds like a plan.” 

It’s still good walking weather and it looks like they have another stop to make.  With that decision the pair set off to the lake with no fanfare. 

Chapter 7:  Maybe In Another Life

At the castle Zelda is on a mission.  In the castle library she’s poring over the old spell books again trying to decipher the forerunner to current Hylian dialect.  She’s doing that but is having a hard time concentrating on the task.  It’s only around early afternoon but the day has already done quite a number on her both physically and mentally as well as emotionally.  She’s fatigued but not ready for a nap.

“There’s so much I don’t understand…”  The princess mumbles, squinting over the ancient texts.  “I can’t read this and I’m not even sure I should.  She keeps telling me she can handle it if she’s got Link and they’re attached at the hip either way regardless.  She invited me to hang around but…doesn’t she know how I feel?  What she told me this morning was like a slap in the face!  Not because it was a surprise because I saw it coming a mile off but she said it wasn’t like that between them.  So I took her word for it and got my hopes up just to watch my bubble burst.  That really hurts.  How could she do that to me?  She had to know…”  Zelda sighs and tries to make sense of how she’s feeling and still doesn’t come up with much on the logical side other than bewildered and agonized.

“Top it off with Ruto not reading between the lines and trying to knock off the competition, ugh!  I’ve been through a rockslide and a standoff because of her and I am not even in this!  That is between them!”  She glares at the back of her hand at the Triforce of Wisdom.  “I thought this thing was supposed to make everything make sense!  Goddesses what did I do to deserve this?”  She puts her head down on an old volume and begins to sob.  She’s doing this when Impa comes to check on her.

“Zelda, you’ve been down here for some time.”  The sheikah spies her crying.  “What’s the matter my child?”  She asks, putting a hand on the young lady’s shoulder.

The princess raises her head and Impa can see her red eyes and tear-streaked face.  “My head hurts.”  She says, coughing and sniffing with her eyes still moist and irritated.  “I don’t feel so good…”

“Talk to me.”  Her attendant commands soothingly. 

“I’m confused.  None of this is coming together the right way.  Thinking about it makes me want to tear out my hair…”

“Try to tell me.  Just take it slowly if it isn’t too much.”

“I wanted to be friends with Link.  Friends like he and Malon are friends.”

“That’s why you went to spend time with them.  I understand that.”

 I still do but…”

“What’s wrong?”

Zelda is having trouble remaining poised and tranquil.  She takes a few deep breaths before responding.  “She told me that they weren’t more than friends.  I thought I had a chance to be something more with him…”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know, I really don’t.”  The royal heir sounds incredulous rather unexpectedly and her words start tumbling together.  “I thought it was all going well.  It really was.  We all seemed to be such good friends.  I decided to try to see if I could assist Malon with finding a cure for her condition.  What a friend could do for a friend and…”  She starts sobbing again and Impa sits on the floor next to her and pulls her close, trying to console her as best she can.

“It’s okay.  Really.”  Impa says softly.  “Just breathe…and relax...”

“It’s not okay!”  The princess bursts out.  “It fell apart!”

“Shh…calm down…”

“It crumbled to pieces in my hands…”

“Don’t talk about it.  Just be quiet if it hurts.”  Impa whispers.

“I was so close…”

“Shh…”

“I thought I had a chance…”

The shadow sage just holds her charge as she cries quietly.  They spend a few minutes together in the underground library by candlelight while Zelda is pulling herself together.  After a time it seems as though she’s having some success.  She stops crying long enough to catch her breath and tries to ground herself again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The acting queen nods.  “I need you to help me make sense of it.”

“Take your time.”

“I tried a couple spells on her that I found down here.  She kept telling me not to worry about it but I tried anyway.  It’s what friends do, right?”

Impa nods.  “You were doing the right thing.”

“They didn’t work of course and she told me it didn’t matter.  Not as long as she had Link helping her.”

“He’ll support her no matter what.  We’ve seen that.”

“But that’s where it fell apart.  She just started talking about how much he meant to her and it all started to come undone…”

“Oh no…”

“…and I realized that Link and I may be friends now but they’re something much more and that cuts so deep…”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry; it’s not your fault.  I fooled myself into thinking that I could come between them even though I knew better.  I…just didn’t want to believe it.  I wanted to hold onto the hope…”  She whimpers softly.

“Don’t blame yourself.  You aren’t wrong for feeling the way you do.”

“I was wrong for pretending what was I saw right in front of my eyes wasn’t happening…”

“The heart is blind my child.”

“She loves him.  Really and truly loves him.  I’m a dolt to have tried to mess with something like that.  I had no business…”

“That does not lessen your feelings for him or make them any less important.  You can feel any way you like.  Don’t be guilty over it.”

“But that isn’t even all of it.  Ruto was behind that rockslide and an incident today that could’ve started a bloodbath all in attempts to get rid of Malon.  So now I feel like her, like I’m dense and can’t take a hint.”

“No, it’s not like that.”

“It is!”  Zelda exclaims.  “I’m down here trying to read Old Hylian to search out a cure for Malon when she doesn’t even care either way as long as she has Link and even though I warned her about Ruto…”  She sighs deeply and bites back the urge to whimper.  “Even though I warned her a small part of me wishes she were out of the way.”

“It’s only natural.”

“Really?” 

Impa nods.  “It’s not nice but it is a part of our nature.  No one likes the thought of losing something precious.”

“But it wasn’t even mine to begin with.”

“At least you know.  Ruto doesn’t.  She’s acting on what she thinks is right, being deceitful and selfish trying to make something that isn’t true exist.  You are down here trying to help despite your pain.”

“I feel so stupid…”

“You’re really strong to face this instead of delude yourself.”

“I’m a disgrace to the Triforce.  I should’ve known…”

“I’m proud of you.”

“Why did it happen this way?  It hurts so much and…she had to know…”  Zelda’s eyes start brimming again, today just isn’t her day.  “Why did she do this to me?”

Impa wipes her face lovingly with a forefinger, tracing under her precious one’s eyes.  “I know it pains you.  You feel betrayed.”  The princess nods fervently into her protector’s embrace.  “But…”

“But?”  The hylian’s bloodshot and watery eyes look up to meet those of her sheikah caretaker.  “But what?”

“I do not think she was trying to hurt you.”

“But she…”

“I know that she did hurt you but I truly think she may not have understood…”

“I all but said what I…”

“She may not have known her own heart and how she felt…”

“…”

“You probably weren’t the only one with mixed feelings to straighten out.”

“Something changed between then and now…”

“For all three of you it appears.  I could no more have warned you then you could’ve expected to foresee it.  You’re not ignorant just lovesick.”

“I really care for him…”

“I know.  That’s why it hurts.”

“I should’ve known better.  I suspected but went on ahead anyway.  I’m no better than Ruto is, not using commonsense.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”  Impa says, shaking her head.  “Infatuation is the fool’s errand, not being heartbroken.”

Zelda sighs yet again.  “I’m so confused.”  She repeats.

“I know.”

“I really don’t want anything to happen to her.   Is it strange that I worry?”

The highest-ranking retainer smiles slowly.  “Not at all.  It may feel strange but it’s compassion.  It’s a beautiful thing.”

“Even though she…took him from me?”

“It’s because you want them both to be happy.  It’s beautiful because you’re mature enough to accept it instead of fight it tooth and nail.”

“It’s for the better, isn’t it?”

“People’s happiness is always the greater good.  Sometimes it’s not meant for us but that doesn’t mean snatch it away from them.  It is difficult enough to allow them to have something we do not but it takes a really big person to try to help them with something like that.  You do the Triforce justice for making that effort.”

“Really?”

“That is a true display of strength of heart.  No one could ask any more.”

En route to Lake Hylia the tallest living person and the legendary hero are talking as they walk.  Even though they’ve got something very grave to attend to they don’t seem too serious.  It’s not a matter that they are too worried about despite the significance of it.

“You know somethin’, Fairy Boy?”  Malon says as though lost in thought.

“What’s that?”

“Honestly I don’t think I was ever goin’ to pay Ruto a visit.”

“That’s not very cordial.”  Link replies with a smirk.  “She’s your closest neighbor.”

“Well I went to visit your other friends cause I wanted to be clear on how we all stand and what I said.  But I don’t regret a single word of what I tol’ her.”

“I’ll take a shot in the dark and say she didn’t take you being candid so well.  I mean seeing as there’s been falling rocks and other things since then.”

“You did claim to be the world’s best marksman.”

“You’d think she’d take a hint by now.  I don’t like her that much; she’s a fish on top of that.”

“I did mention that actually.  Among some other choice things.”

“I don’t think you made a friend doing that.”

“Not unless friends like the idea of a friend smashed all to smithereens under a piece of mountain.”

“What exactly are you going to say to her?’

Malon rubs her chin.  “I don’t know.  Cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“Well you’d better come up with something fast and it had better be good…”

“Oh, looks like someone’s waitin’ to see me.”  Malon says, noting the zora princess sitting at the water’s edge gazing at them.  “Hi over there.”  She calls out politely.

“This should be funny.”  Link thinks to himself.

Ruto doesn’t reply.  She stands as they get closer, just off the shore getting her feet wet.  “Stop.  That’s far enough.”  She says with the pair about thirty feet away. 

Malon can see this isn’t going well already so she cuts the preamble.  “I know I said some hurtful things before and for that I’m sorry.  I don’t like to hurt folks and I wasn’t out to jus’ do you harm.”

“Really?”  Ruto seems interested.  “What did you mean to do?  Because you fooled me.”

“I was lookin’ to get my point across.  I don’t take back what I said but I want you to hear me out.”

“No.”  The aquatic being says simply.

“What?”  The redhead is surprised.

“I won’t listen.  I am not having it.”

“Give me a chance to finish.”

“I have been waiting way too long for this.  You’re in the way.”

“Way of what?”

“My future with my beloved.  Like you don’t know.”

“Umm, Ruto?”  Link asks unsteadily.

“Be reasonable, girl!”

“I have been engaged since childhood.  You need to step off!”

“You aren’t makin’ sense!”

“And I’m going through with my dream whether you like it or not!”

“It cain’t work.”

“No matter what you say here you better believe it’s going to happen.”

The colossal country gal shakes her head and stands in front of Link.  “You’ll have to go through me first.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that.”  Ruto smiles and closes her eyes.  “It will be my pleasure.”

“Malon?”  Link is confused.  “What are you about to do?”

“Not sure but I think someone’s spoilin’ for a fight.”

“Clear water grant me your peace…”  Ruto chants.

“You can’t be serious.”

“If she is then it don’ matter if I am or not.”

“Embrace me as I call upon you…” The princess of the lake gains a pale blue aura.

“There’s a way around this.”

“Stand back, sweeheart.”

“Protect your mistress in her time of need!”

“Malon don’t!”

Link reaches for her but she pushes him back on his behind lightly with one hand and steps forward.  Ruto has a bright cereulean glow about her now and a dome of water encapsulates the two ladies seemingly from the air itself.  Then the water around the zora’s feet bubbles and rises to envelope her.  The liquid sphere glows and expands with a near blinding bluish-white shine.  The light fades after a few seconds and now Ruto and Malon are closer to eye-level.  Being more than a head taller than the hylian normally leaves her at just barely under thirty feet tall compared to Malon’s twenty-seven feet two and one-quarter inches.

“No more hidin’ behind dirty tricks?”  Malon asks wryly.

“Some people just can’t get a clue by themselves.  I’ll have to get you out of my way myself.”  Ruto replies haughtily.

“I’m honored you’d take that kind of time for little ole me.”  The hylian smirks.  “No more boulders on hand?”

“If you knew your place I wouldn’t have to do this and I’d be happy by now.”

“I guess I really am a backwards hillbilly.  What else can I say?”

“I think you do understand my destiny but someone’s jealous.”

“Me?  Honestly I cain’t see how.”

“I’m the one who’s fated to be with Link.  If I were you I’d be jealous too.”

“…”

“Ooo, looks like I hit a nerve!  Envy isn’t good for you!”  Ruto taunts, waving a finger admonishingly.  “Tsk tsk tsk.”

“I pity you, sugar.  I really do.”

“Why is that?”

“If you were any shorter on marbles I don’ think you could understand my English...”

The water sage’s eyes flash with rage and she charges Malon somewhat clumsily without warning.  In seconds they are locked together tussling to stay upright.  The taller of the two is struggling to get the other down but can’t find her leverage.  It’s clear that she isn’t any good at this.

“I don’ want to fight you.”  Malon admits.

“Nor I you.” 

“Then why are we doin’ this?”

“This is the fastest way to get you out of the picture.  I have to do something that works.”

“What you need to do is see reality!”

“I have.  It’s smoother with you missing.”  The zora attempts to push her weight down on the shorter hylian.

“You’re dreamin’!”  Malon braces herself and stands her ground.  “I’m not tryin’ to hurt you!”

“That makes this a lot easier since I cannot say the same.”  Ruto pushes forward, gaining a little ground.

“Just listen!”  The farmer shrugs Ruto off and shoves her to the shoreline.  “You’re takin’ how you feel too far!  How does Link feel?”

“It’s a part of the grand design.” She says, getting up and dusting herself off.  “We’re destined to be together.”

“That doesn’t answer my question!”

“Like I care!”

Outside the arena of flowing water Link is at a loss.  He’s been trying every gadget in his bag and not one has gained him anything close to a semblance of entry.

“I can’t cut my way in, hookshot won’t penetrate can’t freeze a hole in it…”  He reaches into his sack and tries another contrivance.  A few seconds later he shakes soot from his cap.  “Can’t blast my way through…what am I supposed to do?”

Staring into the unnatural, impregnable bubble of silence he can’t help but suffer a sense of impending dread.  Malon’s got the upper hand but that’s no comfort to him.  They’ve been at it a while and it is clear Ruto doesn’t know enough about moving around on land to wrestle.  Her opponent is also a good deal stronger and heavier than the tall but slight zora yet Link is soon banging on the liquid forcefield with his fist out of apprehension for his friend.

“There’s got to be a way in there!”  Link cries out in frustration.  “Someone help me!”

In the castle’s underground book storage Zelda is back to reading through the tomes.  Impa is nearby, a quiet but still comforting presence standing near the doorway to the subterranean vault.

“Why didn’t you tell me what was happening sooner?”  The avatar of shade asks curiously while Zelda pages through yet another text written in Old Hylian.

“I wanted to deal with it myself.  I didn’t even know what it was at first.  I didn’t know it was going to be a problem…”

“You could’ve talked about it even so.”

“You always help me.  I wanted to see this for myself.  You can’t fight all of my battles.”

The sheikah is silent at that statement.  She wouldn’t deny that she would’ve done all she could on the princess’s behalf whether she could handle it or not but something is out of place all of the sudden.  She looks up as though something has piqued her interest.  “That’s strange, did you feel that just now?”  She says in a surprised tone.  “Something is wrong…”

“I did.”  Zelda looks at the back of her hand, which has started to burn slightly.  Pulling off the glove she sees the triangle embedded in it gleaming fiercely.  “I’m needed…”

“What?”  The retainer’s expression turns worried.  “Tell me what is happening.” 

“I have to go.”  She says softly, standing up.

“Princess wait-”  Impa moves to stop the royal figure, covering the space between them in an instant and grasping her by the hands but she slips her caretaker’s grasp leaving just her gloves in it as she fades from sight.  “…you may not be able to do this alone…”

Back at Lake Hylia the device driven savior is at his wits end.  He’s tried kicking it and walking through with the Iron Boots, bashing it with the Megaton Hammer, and throwing Biggoron’s Longsword at it.  Having reached the limit of his resourcefulness he’s sitting next to the fluid enclosure panting.  He looks up as the princess appears nearby, more relieved than he’d ever actually admit to.

“Zelda, thank the goddesses…”  Link wheezes.  “What is this?  I can’t get through.  I’ve tried everything…”

One look at the barrier and the incarnation of intelligence knows what she’s dealing with.  “You can’t get through.”  She says simply.

“I know that.”  He says irritably.  “Tell me how to.”

“You can’t get through.”  She repeats.  “You cannot break this spell.”

“If I can’t then what am I supposed to do?”  The hero is more than a little incensed.

“This is a seal of a sage.  It is completely impenetrable.  Nothing can enter or exit through the barrier.  Not even sound unless she wills it so.  Inside that circle she cannot be harmed or tire; she is under divine right.”

“So not only am I not getting in, Malon isn’t getting out?  She can’t win this?”

“I’m afraid that’s the case.”  Zelda says grimly.  “Within the confines of that seal all is under her control.  She may as well be a goddess.”

Their eyes stray to the conflict inside the sacred area.  Malon is still dominating the engagement but sweat is starting to show on her.  Ruto is taking it calmly, every fall in stride, appearing no worse for the wear.  The farm girl still looks game enough but the wicked smile on the aquatic one’s face leaves both of the onlookers with a sensation of trepidation.

“Malon’s in there and you want me to just watch?  You can’t expect me to believe there’s nothing we can do!”  Link is flat out furious at this possibility.  “I’ll find a way in there if it kills me!”

Zelda looks at Link caught in the heat of the moment and it’s more than just that happening right now.  Something isn’t the way she thinks it should be.  “There’s more than just drive and determination in his face…”  She thinks.  “This isn’t like when he fought Ganondorf, this is different.  There’s righteous rage and something more…”  It hits her as suddenly as a freak bolt of lightning.  “This is personal, that light flashing in his eyes…”

“I give you my word!”  He looks ready to take the fist with the flaming Triforce of Courage back to the barrier again despite bruising on his fingers and do it until he gets in there or passes out.

That confirms it and Zelda stills feels a pang of loss upon realizing what she has for certain.  “He’s serious and I know why…and I believe him.”  She places a hand on his shoulder to stop him from battering the shield with his hand again.  “That won’t be necessary.”  She says slowly.  “There is one way this can be undone.  I came across it in my reading.”

“Then let’s go for it already!”  Link roars.

She can feel it in his words and even though she tries to fight it she can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy for the one trapped in the unassailable circle.  She sighs and gathers her resolve.  “For this to work we’ll need help.”

Inside the aqua prison the two combatants are continuing the duel.  Though the toll of the battle is telling on one of them neither of them is close to giving up.  The ground beneath them is torn with dragged footprints and struggle while they grapple yet again.

“You sure are stubborn.”  Malon says.  “Don’t you fish folks ever get tired?”

“I could say the same about you.”  Ruto replies, attempting to throw the hylian to the ground.  “And I won’t be getting tired any time soon.”

“Oh?  Are you inspired?”  The cherry-topped one asks scathingly.  “Nothin’ like somethin’ you’ll never reach to keep you goin’.”  She scoffs, straining to stay standing.

“I’m enchanted.”  Ruto corrects.  “As long as I’m in here I’ll never get tired.  I’m invincible too, haven’t you noticed I’m not hurt?”

“Whoopee for you.  I don’ plan on backin’ down myself so…”  She pushes Ruto off of her and throws a mean left cross when the zora steps back towards her that gains her some space temporarily.  “We’ll be here a while.”

“Ow, that kinda stung.  I didn’t think you had that much left in you.”  The lake dweller says, regaining her balance just before falling.  “I’m impressed.”  She rubs her chin as it still tingles a moment.

“There’s plenty more where that came from.”

“I’m willing to test that.”

“You don’ have what it takes to bring me down, darlin’.”

“Actually I think I do.  It’s called time.  How much longer do you think you can keep this up?”  She asks, locking arms with the rancher again.

“As long as it takes.” 

“Ooo, don’t disappoint!”  Ruto says happily.  “I’m just getting started!”

“I’d better not.  I can’t let Fairy Boy end up with a screwball like you.”

The zora giggles.  “That’s harsh!  Be nice!”

“You first.”

The zora continues giving her best to unbalance her opponent.  “We could be here all day.” 

“Suits me.”

Outside the sealed area Link is waiting impatiently while Zelda prepares the spell.  He’s more than anxiety-ridden as he watches what happens inside the dome and she’s mumbling an incantation of some kind while drawing out a circle on the ground.

“What are we waiting on?”  He demands, pacing a tight area with nervous energy.  “Come on already!”

“We’re waiting on help.  I can’t break an enchantment like this.  I called them so be patient.”

“Be patient?  Be patient?!”  The champion’s eyes open wide as green dinner plates.  “I’ve been out here the last ten minutes being patient!  Malon’s getting roughed up and tired and I’m supposed to wait it out?  How much longer do you have to put me through this?”

The avatar of wisdom sighs.  “I really could expect no less.  I should’ve known…”

“Known what?  What are you talking about?”

She had been referring to his attitude but she shrugs it off as though it is of no consequence.  “It’s not important.  Here they come.”

Impa appears first.  “You called?”  She surveys the situation without words and does not look too happy with her conclusion.  “I see.  Let’s hope.”

“Exactly what I was thinking.”  Zelda agrees.

“Let’s hope what?  What am I missing?”  Link asks, agitated he’s not being kept informed.

The ladies don’t say anything more.  Rauru, Saria, and Darunia appear shortly.  All of them look concerned but say nothing.

“Okay, this should be enough help.  Why don’t you get on with it?”  All of them shake their heads at his request at the same time.  “What is it now?”  Link demands irately.

Zelda sighs again.  “We’re short one.  All of the other sages are needed for the counterspell to work.”  She explains.

“Then what are you waiting for?  Get Nabooru over here!”

“I’ve contacted her telepathically but I haven’t received a response.”

“Try again!  Something!”  He turns to the other sages.  “How much longer can this go on?  How much longer can she last in there?  The seal doesn’t stay up forever does it?”

The elemental embodiments of the goddesses will are silent.  Their grave expressions say volumes to the hero and he’s bordering on fed up.  He’s been through a lot and losing his patience is something he’s learned to get past but this is really pressing his tolerance.

“So that’s just it?  She’s going to die in there?  You’re just going to stand idly by?  The sages still say nothing.  “I save the kingdom, save each of you one by one and when I need a favor this is what I get?  All your amazing sage powers and this is it?  This is pathetic!”

“Link you have to understand…”  Saria begins.  “This isn’t easy for any of us…”

“Easy?  I like that word.  You mean easy like conquering five temples and the King of Evil?  Or easy like fighting someone with unlimited power and stamina?”

“Brother, our hands are tied.”  Darunia explains.  “If I could do it myself I would but we all have to agree.  Violating a pact with the goddesses isn’t so simple.”

“If I could do it myself I’d be done already…”

“I know how hard this has to be for you.”  Impa says.  “I know how you feel…”

“You know how hard this is, huh?  You know how this is making me feel?”  The shadow sage nods.  “If you really know what this is doing to me then you’re cold-blooded for not doing something sooner and watching me go through this.”

“Link listen.”  Rauru says, trying to be calm in the face of the situation.  “We are doing all we can-”

A few words explode out of the veteran defender of the kingdom’s mouth that make everyone’s heads turn.  None of the words are quite worthy of children’s ears and all of them are tinted deep blue.  The fact that they are appalled means little to him right around now in any case.  “And I’d say it again.”  Link takes a deep breath and tries to come back from flying off the handle.  He’s not trying to get teary-eyed in front of them.  “If you were doing everything you can then Nabooru would already be here and I wouldn’t be watching Malon get killed in there.  So stop telling me it’ll be okay and get her over here.”

Out at desert colossus Nabooru is taking some time to herself.  She’s still a little rattled about her close encounter with Malon earlier and is cooling off from the whole thing.

“I can’t believe Ruto tried to pull me in the middle of her and that oversize redhead.”  The spirit sage thinks.  “I’m not anybody’s pawn.  I don’t do anyone’s dirty work.  I went right over to her little room and told her that too as soon as the girl left.  If her and too tall have problems she should just confront the girl and be done with it.”

Suddenly a strange sensation comes over the gerudo leader.  She casts her eyes to the sky then back east towards the lake and shrugs.

“From the sounds of that message I guess Ruto is doing just that.  She’s got her seal of clear water up and is dealing with Malon the only other way she can think of.  I know if I don’t go help the girl is done for but who am I to step into this quarrel?  Her and I aren’t friends so why should I bother with it?”

The spirit sage sits and contemplates the idea for a moment.  Several more messages, each more urgent than the last, from each sage arrive.  Regardless she is not to be swayed from thinking.  This is her decision.

“I did tell her to go on and have it out with the girl but that isn’t fair.  Do I go back on what I just told her to do and break the spell though?  Seems like it defeats the purpose…”  She’s about to chalk the entire idea but something is gnawing at her.

“If Link’s going into the kind of seizure they say, something isn’t making sense.  Because if…wait.  She went into all of what she did on Ruto’s ‘Wedding Day’ for a reason.  If he’s ready to breath fire and she even bothered tangling with that nutcase then…but Ruto is a sage and my friend.  How can I be the one to decide what’s right?”

In the enchanted precinct of water Ruto and Malon have been at it for some time.  Even though her fatigue is showing she’s still taking it to her infinitely fresh opponent.  Ruto is content to just let it go and wait; she’s in no hurry.

“I’d think by now you’d just give up.”  The zora says condescendingly, advancing again.

“I’d think by now the truth would’ve hit you…”  The hylian retorts, breathing heavily and grabbing hold of her opponent.

“That you won’t give up until I make you?  I know that.”  Ruto laughs.  “It doesn’t bother me at all.  It’s just sooo time consuming…”

“All this time it still hasn’t sunk…talk about a hard head.”

“I can’t imagine you have much of worth to say to me.  As jealousy-ridden as you are it would probably be much better if you just shut up.”

Malon laughs at that.  “I guess you’re sharper than I thought.  I should give you more credit.”

“Why is that so funny?”

“I was going to tell you the same thing.”  She pushes the water sage away from her and steps back a few paces.  “After all, it is why we’re here.”

“What?”

“You’re so green with envy I’d miss you in the brush with glasses on.”

“Me?  Jealous?  Why would I be?  I’m the one winning here.”

“Come on now, honey.  I don’t think you wanted to drop big rocks on lil’ ole me cause you wanted to play catch.  Fact is I’m closer to Link than you’ll ever be.”

“Lies.”

“Every time you got word I was in a mile of him you got into mischief about it.  Figured if you weren’t close I sure didn’t need to be.”

“You’ve made a lot of efforts toward stealing Link from me so no I don’t think you need to be near him.”

“Steal him from you?  I couldn’t tie him to you without a noose.”  Malon giggles.

“He’s mine.”  Ruto says shakily.

“He’s been pretty good to me, we’re great friends.  I don’t think I own him though.”

“That’s because he’s mine.”  She repeats.  “Are you deaf?”

“Well I don’t listen to make-believe if that’s what you mean.”

“It’s true!”  She insists, voice rising in pitch.

“Why doesn’t he visit?”

“He has other things to do.  Important things.”

“It must be nice to live in your own little world.”  The horse breeder giggles again.

“What’s funny this time?”

“I’m guessin’ no one told you and that must mean they didn’t think you could handle it either.”

“What are you talking about?”  Ruto is on the defensive now.  “What haven’t I been told?”

“When you aren’t too bright and can bounce pebbles off your own forehead it’s a bad combo.”

“Tell me…”  Ruto commands, starting to lose her cool at being ridiculed.

“Have you ever wondered what he’s doing?”  Malon asks innocently.

“I think about him all the time.  Day in, day out.  That’s how much I love him.”

“Uh-oh, the ‘L’ word.  I wonder if you’ll say it still after I’m done.  I can tell you what he’s been doing if you’re curious.”

“What has he been doing?”  She asks, taking the bait.

“If you weren’t so busy bein’ full of yourself it might have occurred to you.”

“Just tell me before I get tired of you.”

“I’d think that happened back when you thought I’d make good patte…”  Ruto glares at this waste of her time so she goes on with telling the truth.  “Well he’s been with me.  Every day.”

“Impossible.”  She says flatly.

“Is it?  He’s been on my farm all this time.  If you’d have paid a visit instead of makin’ my water dry up you’d have seen him.  He’s been helpin’ me with my chores, we share meals…”

“Not my Link.”

“Your Link is imaginary.  The one I know likes a massage in the morning after chores and loves napping in my arms at all times of day.”

“My Link wouldn’t…”  Ruto’s eyes are wide now.

“He has just about every night.”

“Blasphemy.”  Her gaze turns stone hard.

“Haven’t you put together why you haven’t heard a peep out of him since I rescued him from your wedding?”

“…”

“He cain’t stand you, sugar.”

Something inside the lake resident snapped just then.  Her expression darkens like clouds over the sun and her eyes, previously wide, narrow to thin lines on her face.  Even the ambient light through the dome seemed to dim as something finally started to occur to her.

“It’s starting to sink in, ain’t it?”

“He’s mine…”  She murmurs in what could better be called a growl.

“From the self-absorbed way you’ve been actin’ I guess you really did miss all the signs…”

“I made him promise with the Sapphire…”  She mumbles to herself but still loud enough for Malon to hear.

“Denial is an ugly thing.”

“It…I…”

“You never had a chance.”

It is too sudden for Malon to react.  But before her mouth closes from the last word that still hangs in the air Ruto is at her throat instantly like an expertly fired arrow.  It’s not like before; the zora is as one overcome by a demon.  The hylian is taken by surprise and slips back a few paces trying to keep her feet but doesn’t stop there.  Ruto hurls her to the ground viciously with a hip toss as though she weighs nothing and falls upon her like a maddened animal ferociously mauling her.

“It’s not my fault…”  She wheezes, taking the throw hard as she loses a lot of her wind on contact with the ground.

“You’re lying!”  Ruto screams atop the country girl, slapping her repeatedly.  “Stop lying to me!”  The cracks from the blows echo in the small area while one of the pair is yelling hysterically over each one.  “It’s not true!”

“He likes hugs…”  She coughs out.

“Stop it!”  The zora starts bashing her head on the ground.

“He hates vegetables…”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!”  Her voice rises in pitch as she slams the hylian again with each command, cracking the stones that line the shore beneath them.

“He has back problems…”  Her vision flashes white again as a few more pebbles are ground to dust in her hair on impact.  “Every morning…”  Blinding stars over her sight return as her skull bounces off of the ground again.  “He loves my hands…”  The next hit makes her head swim and her eyes loll backwards as she can feel a large rock crumble beneath her cranium.  “…oohh…”

“I won’t let you take him from me!  None of that can be true!”

The one with the strawberry locks is trying to get her bearings and feels like she’s been a couple rounds with the holder of the Triforce of Power but does manage to get her vision to focus long enough to lock eyes with her opponent again.  “We talk for hours at night…”  She pants laboriously.  “…before bed…think about it.”

“He’s not yours!”

“Maybe not…”  Malon admits, her voice a hoarse whisper.  “But I do love him…you’ll never…understand…”  She trails off as Ruto thrusts her head under suddenly rising water.

“Tell me you’re lying!”  Ruto shouts.

The old-fashioned ranch worker is inhaling lake water but gets her head up one more time.  “Truth hurts, doesn’t it?”  Her face goes back below the surface.  The hylian’s vision starts to fade.  It feels like the end is coming at last.

“I know you’re lying, I just know.  But even if by some slim chance even a tiny sliver of it was true it doesn’t matter now.  You’ll be gone and so will all of your lies and tricks and everything will be just as it should be.  How does that make you feel, you homewrecker?”

Ruto’s voice is coming from very far away.  It all sounds so faint and distorted it barely registers in her mind.  “I think you got hallucinatin’ down to an art.”  She thinks, watching the image of her assailant waver from beneath the surface of the water.  “He’s about as at home with you as he’d be in a prison.  I’d consider where he’s been the last few weeks before sayin’ somethin’ like that.  Callin’ me a homewrecker of all things…”

  Malon’s taking a lot of water into her lungs now despite trying to hold her breath and something astoundingly stupid takes control of her a moment after she concludes what she has and she actually laughs hearing Ruto speak again with the last of her air.  Now she’s got another mouthful of water and it’s about time for her to pass out.  “Why did I have to be the one to tell her it all…?”  She asks whatever can hear her thoughts, losing touch with physical reality slowly.  “I really just wish there was an end to all this nonsense.  I’m just so tired of this…”  The hylian’s body tingles and everything seems darker.  Even the water seems deeper as blackness steals over her along with a sensation of nausea and floating away. 

Outside the murky semi-sphere Link has been following the battle and has officially started screeching.  The other sages are distinctly nervous but are making no endeavor to comfort the inconsolable hero.  The events inside have them all on edge and what is happening now has them floored.

“She’s turning back to normal.”  Saria states.

“I hate to say it but I think this is bad timing.”  Darunia mentions. “Being cured is good and all but…”

“Ruto is trying to crush her.”  Impa notes.  Link makes a sound similar to an angry bird of prey at that remark.  “If we’re going to do something it has to be now.”

Suddenly there is a burst of saffron hued light tinged with sand and dust in their midst.  A windblown, wild-eyed woman steps out from it.  “So what’d I miss?”  Nabooru asks with a smile that isn’t winning anyone over right now.

“You’re late.”  Zelda says in an exasperated voice.  “I know you heard-”

“Sorry.  I was busy.”

“Doing what?  There’s a life at stake here!”  Link screams in a decibel just low enough to pass for human speech without becoming an unintelligible high-pitched whistle.

“Get in the circle.”  The sage of wisdom commands.  “We don’t have much time.”

The six sages stand with hands touching and an almost audible hum comes from the gathering.  They close their eyes and begin chanting with Zelda leading.

“We of the sage’s circle are servants of the Triforce and protectors of its sacred balance.  If one of us opposes this balance together we can undo the wrong with our powers of…”

“Calm Forest.” 

“Raging Fire.”

“Wayward spirit.”

“Impenetrable shadow.”

“Guiding light.”

“…granted to us by the goddesses.  In the names of Din, Farore, and Nayru we break the seal of Clear Water for the greater good.”

As the final words are uttered a flash of light comes form between the sages and the enchantment is dispelled.  Link takes that as a signal to go and bolts to Malon and Ruto with unreal swiftness.  Even though they’re both back to normal on dry land Ruto has her hands around Malon’s neck trying to throttle her.  She doesn’t notice the hero until he’s right upon them and looks up with a proud smile.  Before she can speak she’s rather rudely stiff-armed off of her quarry and falls to the ground a bit stunned at the occurrence.

“I guess every life is important but I took care of her for us.”  Ruto says with a disturbing grin.  “She won’t be bothering us any more.”

“Malon, hey wake up!”  Link commands imperatively, tapping her cheekbone.  “Ah, heavens…”  He starts to perform CPR.  “Don’t let me be too late…”  He gives her mouth-to-mouth but no response.  “Come on, please!”  He tries another cycle while the sages look on in awe.

“I didn’t know Link could be afraid of anything.”  Saria thinks with a little chill.

“I’ve never seen brother like this…”

“If I’d known how he felt I’d have gotten here sooner.”  Nabooru thinks regretfully.

“This is what Zelda spoke of.”  Impa realizes.

“He’s made his choice.”  Zelda sighs to herself again, like she’s been prone to this afternoon and her expression is one of special anguish watching it.

“I’m begging you please!”  He tries chest compressions again, frantically.

“I think she’s gone.”  Ruto mentions nonchalantly. “It’s for the better anyway; I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Of course you wouldn’t!”  Link snaps as Ruto draws back in surprise at his sudden fury.  “It’s your fault!”  He tries a couple of rescue breaths again and is rewarded with a face full of water when she starts coughing up some lake in his direction.  “Malon, thank goodness!”  He breaths a sigh of relief that’s been building for the last fifteen minutes.  “I thought for a minute there…”  He shakes his head and exhales again.

“You saved me.”  The worn out girl whispers, opening her eyes.  “You really got this hero thing down pact.”

“I’d hope so.  I didn’t save the world by being a half-cocked hack.”  Link smiles.

Malon giggles.  “Well you’re my hero either way so…”  She leans up and gives him a kiss on the forehead.  “Thank you much Fairy Boy.”

“I- really-”  He’s turning red and she just smiles and lies back down, appearing content that she’s made him embarrassed and taking a quick and much needed breather.

“Okay that’s far enough.”  Ruto says, annoyed from over his shoulder.  “You’d think she’d figure out whose man this is by now.”

“Excuse me?”  Link asks in an almost amazed tone.

“I didn’t stutter.  Your friend better watch who she’s getting affectionate with or you won’t be able to save her next time.”

“I don’t think you understand…”

“I know I don’t want some girl putting her lips on what’s mine.  I’ve had enough of her lies and man-stealing antics to last two lifetimes.  Come over here lover.  She can drool over you from where she is.”

“Okay, I missed something.”  Link says, looking thoroughly perturbed while immobile.

“What?  You’ve always been my dearest.  That has never changed.”  Ruto sounds startled by his response.  “You know that I’m sure so come here.”

This particular look on the left-handed swordslinger’s face right now is one that only the would-be destroyer of Hyrule has ever seen.  It’s a couple levels beyond irritated or infuriated and just one step behind ‘you’re going to die right now’ and everyone can see it.  The temple keepers are distressed while Ruto is actually bordering on petrified by his gaze.  An awe-bound hush like the calm before the storm is over the area and all know it.

“This is it.”  Saria realizes.  “She’s been asking for it.”

“This has been a long time coming…”  Darunia reflects.  “I think she’s pushed him over the edge at long last…”

“I’ve been waiting to see this.”  Nabooru thinks almost gleefully.  “She’s going to get it.”

“There was no way this could have been avoided.”  Impa cogitates.

“He’s going to set things right after all this time.”  Zelda considers.  “Shattering her hopes and mine as well.”  She exhales tiredly and Impa is at her side holding her upright immediately.  “But it has to be done.”

“No.”  Link says in a low tone very slowly.

“What do you mean?”  Ruto sounds flustered and frightened at the same time like a young child.

“I mean no.”  He reiterates slowly.

“But we-”

“We?  I’m sure you must be joking.  Now is not the time.”

“But I’m serious.  We’re meant to be together.  I’ve been waiting so long and doing all I can to make it so…can’t you see?”

“No, I don’t.”  He says flatly.

 “This is what’s real, can’t you feel it between us?”

“I don’t know what kind of delusion you’re trying to put me in but I don’t want any part of it.”  He continues evenly.  “You disturb me.”

“Don’t say things like that.  I know you understand what I feel for you.”  She has an aggrieved expression on her face.  “Please don’t do this to me.”  She says in a low wavering voice that borders on the edge of her losing composure.

“So you started an avalanche, nearly sparked off a confrontation with the gerudo, and spent the last twenty minutes trying to kill Malon here by attempting to beat her to death, drown, crush, choke and whatever else you could imagine to utterly destroy her?  All for the love of me?”

“I love you more than life itself!”  Ruto cries out, overcome with emotion.  “I’ve lived my entire life waiting for this!  I won’t let anything come between us!”

“You’re crazy.”

“What?”

“You’re out of your mind and I’m sick of pretending you’re not.”

“Why would you say that to your fiancé?”

“See, I should’ve known.”

“Should’ve known what?  I don’t understand.”

“I bet you don’t.”  Link says with a hand on his forehead.

“What is the meaning of this?”

“Let me make it clear to you.  I’m not your fiancé.”

“But the Sapphire-”

“I don’t like you that way.  Matter of fact I’m having a hard time liking you at all right now.”

“You’re my beloved-”

“Don’t you give me that!  I’m tired of hearing it!”  The zora princess is a few degrees past upset by that.  “I really am sick of it!  All of this is your fault and you know it!”

“I can’t help it.”  She whines plaintively.  “I love you so…”

“You can’t help being obsessed over me, huh?  Just can’t stop yourself from hurting others just to get close to me?  You’re that devoted to me?”

“I’d do it again-”

“Yay!  Let’s cause more disasters and more pain and suffering because I’m too self-centered to even consider that there’s an outside chance that he may not love me as much as I love him!  Let’s endanger everyone anywhere nearby just for a shot at my love!  Let’s do anyone in the way like the competition, the princess-”

“She wasn’t involved.  Just that woman in the tan tunic was with you.  Her over there.”

“The lady next to Impa with the shiny, important-looking triangle in her hand?  You must not catch on fast at all do you?  That’s the princess but that’s not important.  I couldn’t have expected you to care about that but you love me so much you left me in the crossfire too.  Got more than a knot on my head from that cliff you tried to drop on us.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“To be neurotically stupid?  This is blowing my mind!  If you’d done what you set out to do we wouldn’t even be talking right now because one of us would be flatter than a shadow!  Let’s pretend I didn’t need Malon to stop me from becoming rock paint.  What then?  If you just managed to take her out I’d simply fall into your arms and we’d live happily ever after, huh?  Guess it didn’t occur to you I did all I could to protect her did it?”

“She made you do-”

“She never once made me do anything!  She did things for me!  She cares for me!”

“Not like I do.”

“I hope not!  Since she’s not cracked like a fine china Frisbee I don’t think she does, go figure.  Lucky me.”

“How can you say that to me?  Don’t you love me?”  She whimpers.

“You just don’t get it!  NO!  Of course not!”

“You’re choosing her over me?”

“You say that like there was a chance in this world you were even on that list!  I don’t love you, I have never loved you, and probably won’t love you until they start serving ice-cream in Hell!”

Ruto bursts into tears at that last turn of phrase.  She falls to the ground as though struck across the face in a prone position sprawled out and crying with her face hidden.  “But why?”  She sobs.

“Why?”  Link’s eyes teeter on their way out of their sockets as the eyelids take a quick trip upward to kiss stratosphere.  “It’s obvious!  You’re immature, selfish, spoiled, compulsive, flat-out insane, and have a problem understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth!”

“But that can’t be true…”

“See, that’s exactly what I mean!  It’s like we aren’t speaking the same language!  Like what I just said can’t click inside your head!  Someone else has my heart, not you!  Don’t you get it?  It’s as evident as the concussion on my forehead!”  He snaps, stressing the words ‘concussion’ and ‘forehead’ by tapping the bandage and stretching the syllables.  “What part of not till I get a sundae served with my damnation you obsessive psychotic blockhead excuse for a friend do you not understand?” 

Ruto looks as though she wants to say something.  She gathers up what little willpower she has left from his vicious assault and meets his gaze one more time to say it.  But as the path of her eyes crosses that of the ones of the hero she stops cold, seeing something that she can’t comprehend.  Link’s eyes are hard and glassy with his teeth bared in a snarl to match his mood.  Potent venom and fresh blood may as well be dripping from his jaws given what he’s just said and her reaction to it.  He is actually tempted to hiss and snap in outrage before she bolts like one who’s seen the stare of a creature that makes its home in her nightmares come for her in reality, shrieking in a mixture of melancholy despair and utter terror wrenched from the depths of the very fiber of her being.  Thoroughly traumatized and pale enough to be taken for a shade gray now she dives into the water in mortal fear with her otherworldly wail only being silenced by the ripples left in her wake on the surface of the water as something that took over seven years for her to understand finally hits home.

“I’ve seen a lot of things in my time…”  Rauru says to himself. 

“That’s scary…”  Saria whispers.

“That’s brother with the gloves off…”  Darunia mumbles.

“She deserved it but that was way past brutal…”  Nabooru breathes.

“There truly was no other alternative.”  Impa sighs.

 “I wish he’d fight for me like that.”  Zelda mouths silently, leaning hard on her caretaker.  “With all my heart I truly wish…”

Link stands and turns to the sages whose faces are still stricken with stark shock and disbelief at what he’s just perpetrated.  “I know I haven’t thanked you for what you’ve done and I just wanted to.  I’m sorry if I…can you forgive me?”

“You’re welcome.”  Rauru says quietly.

“And we know.”  Saria adds with a wink.

“So don’t worry about it.”  Nabooru laughs.

“I think we may want to leave brother alone now.”  Darunia mentions.  “I’m not needed further.”

“Indeed.”  Impa agrees.

The sages all disappear simultaneously at that.  Trademark colors in all directions save one person.  The woman in the tan tunic simply stares at the pair for a bit.  They don’t even look in her direction and she’s in a philosophical mood getting ready to leave herself anyway.

“Hey Malon, you awake?”  Link asks, sitting next to her.

“Of course I am.”  She giggles softly.  “I don’t even think pa could sleep through that conniption fit of yours and her squealin’ like a stuck pig at the same time.”

“Ah, I’m sorry.”  Link looks shamefaced.  “I wasn’t trying to keep you up.”

“I’m glad I didn’t miss it.  You’re a lot stronger than you used to be.”

“How do you mean?”

“You used to have problems sayin’ ‘no’ and standin’ up for yourself in front of your friends.”

“I had to.  Something more important was at stake.”

“What was that?”

“You know.”

“I didn’t ask for my health, Fairy Boy.”

“You.  You’re really important to me and…you heard what I said.  I got kind of loud.”

“I know.  Like to have busted out one of my eardrums.”  She laughs.  “But you meant all that?”  She asks quietly, meeting his eyes.  “I never seen you mad before…”

“I said it to get Ruto to understand but there’s nothing easier to understand than the honest truth regardless if it hurts or not.  I meant every word.”

“You sat there and unraveled her whole lil’ dreamworld from round her bit by bit.  I warned her it wasn’t true…”

“I did what I had to.  I know it wasn’t nice but you can’t always speak your mind and be polite at the same time, right?”  Link asks as he remembers her advice.

“Mmhmm.  You got it hon.  That’s what it took to wake her up.  You been waitin’ a good while to say some of that.”

“Been waiting too long for all of it if you ask me.  Should’ve told Ruto what I did before she got out of hand.”

“It’s okay, everyone survived.”

“It’s not okay…”

 “It’s not?”

“I put off saying what I think too much.  That nearly killed both of us.”

“Don’ blow it out of proportion.  It was that girl bein’ about as stable as a two-legged table that did us that number.”

“Cracked as a fine china Frisbee I say again.”

“That sounded like somethin’ I’d say.  You’ve been hangin’ round me too much.”

Link nods and smiles.  “Maybe.  There’s a reason for that I assure you.”

“Hmm?”

“I mean- well there is.  I really like you.  Truth is I thought today I might’ve missed my last chance to tell you how I feel.”

 “Well I managed to make it through so no worries there, hon.  You watch out for me too well.”

“I wouldn’t say all that.  But you mean a lot to me.  That’s why the thought of losing you scared me so much.  I can’t help that.”

“I’m flattered you think so much of me.  It makes me feel special.”

“You are special.  You’re the only person that accepts me for who I am, not what I am.  You’re the only one who always listens.  You’re the only one I feel this way about.”

“This way?”

“I wouldn’t have done everything I did for just anyone.  Only you.”

“Only me?”  She whispers.

“You’re my best friend.  You’ve always been there for me.  I would do anything you ask.”

“You don’ have to do all that…”

“I realize I don’t and that’s why I would.  It’s been that way for some time.”

“I know but…why?”

“It’s because…you’re the one I was talking about.  The one who has my heart.  I love you Malon.  I thought you knew.”

“I suspected and I hoped, I really did.  Cause I’ve had strong feelings for you I felt guilty and wasn’t sure about and didn’t know what to do with for a while now.  I didn’t want to steal you from the life you had but I started havin’ a hard time imaginin’ mine without you.  I love you too, sweetheart.”

Zelda has been there the whole time.  She’s been waiting for something and it’s finally come.  “I’ve been waiting to hear those words so long…but alas it truly isn’t to be.”  She shakes her head.  “I had to hear it for myself.  I felt it between them and can see it now but I had to know.  I knew in my heart but I had to be certain.  As his friend I understand and even though it’s for the best and I’m happy for him…it still hurts.  I never got a chance to start off the right way but looking at them now I wonder if it really would’ve made a difference…”  The princess vanishes as their lips meet and eyes close.  The pair doesn’t notice the soft whoosh and her sigh on the breeze as she fades from the scene leaving naught but one teardrop drying on the ground unnoticed.  “Maybe in another life…”

Epilogue:  Dress the Part

At what you can call a homestead a couple is up at the crack of dawn.  Actually a little before since dressing for work is a slightly new thing for one of them.  By slightly new one could say not going to happen but his companion is insistent.

“What’s wrong with what I have on?”  Link asks for the third time.  “You can’t expect me to wear that.”  He gestures at the hanger in his friend’s hand.  “No way.”

“I done tol’ you more than once it gets dirty too fast and jus’ ain’t suited for work round here.”  Malon explains, holding out his outfit towards him again.  “And I do expect you to put this on.  You ain’t gettin’ out of here otherwise.”  She smiles and sets the outfit on the bed then stands in front of the door.

“You can’t be serious!”  He sounds incredulous.

“You can try your luck, Fairy Boy.”  She giggles.  “But I think I’m still a lil' stronger than you though.”

“Come on, Malon!  Please?”

“Nothin’ doin’ darlin’.  If you’re goin’ to live round here and work you’re doin’ it right.”

“When did you decide all this?”

“When I finally got around to goin’ to see that tailor an’ gettin’ you measured.  I sure couldn’t pitch a fit about proper work gear if I didn’t have any for you now could I?”

“I’m not wearing that.”  Link says adamantly.

“I had to wait two weeks for him to manage to dye ‘em red.  You’re wearin’ it if I have to dress you myself.”

The undisputed conqueror of all that is vile looks ready to debate that idea but his boss shakes her head as soon as he opens his mouth.  Malon appears ready to back up her ultimatum despite her grinning the most innocent grin.  Link feels uncomfortable at the options presented and she can see it in his face.  That earns another giggle while he looks all the more indignant.

“I am not going to wear that; I’ll look silly!”

“I didn’t say you wouldn’t.  I said it was goin’ on you one way or another is what I said.”

“No, it’s not.  You think I’m joking?”

“Mmhmm may as well be.”

“I don’t want to and you can’t make me!”  He cries, sounding like a spoiled child.

“Then give me your best shot sweetheart.”  She says shutting the door and adding an impish sparkle to her smile.

Link says nothing to that.  With the click of the doorjamb his mind has already started turning and boss music has started to play.  He runs an automatic inventory and comes up with nothing.  Malon made him take his equipment off like she did every night since he’d moved here.  It is nearby but next to useless in the corner of their bedroom.  In nothing but his Goron Tunic and socks they’re on even ground since she’s in a nightgown and barefoot.  Moving from side to side he watches her shift her weight slightly with his movements like an attentive goalie waiting for the shot.  This would be yet another time the forest native misses the standard-issue fairy since she could surely give a hint on his ‘opponent’s’ weak point or at least a method of approach.  He’s still trying to think of an easier way out of this when his concentration is broken by something.

Malon is looking at her underling with what can only be referred to as mounting glee.  The expression of thoughtful befuddlement on his face demands the invention of the camera so she can treasure it later.  Watching him shuffle about trying to feign her out is all but making her burst out laughing.  The mythological sentinel of unshakeable valor that stands guard over all that is good from the history books looks nervous trapped in a bedroom with a teenage girl.  She actually giggles at the thought and he is startled by the sound looking at her with a mannerism that flawlessly mimics that of a frightened doe formerly alone in a forest clearing.

“I don’ have all day, Fairy Boy.”  She taunts oh so sweetly.  “You can handle lil’ old me can’t you?”

That tears it.  He may be in love with the girl but she’s pushing it.  Not only is he not scared of anything but she was getting that thing on him over his dead body.  He charges like an angry bull (like most people who charge tend to) and would be darned if he didn’t get out of that door.  She’s smiling a smile that would be in the dictionary under cute with a full color illustration the entire time.  He’s thinking only of how she’d better get out of the way but she does no such thing.  Instead she steps forward brazenly and kicks a leg out to him.  He takes a light hit to one of his thighs from her foot losing momentum and stumbling into her awkwardly as she spreads her arms apart.  He loses traction due to his socks as he feels her arms circle around him.  He’s confused for an instant as she catches him and holds him up from falling but then her hands link behind him and her arms constrict about him a bit tighter and he’s lifted off his feet and deposited on the bed several paces back atop what is going to be his new attire soon.  Malon is still on top of him keeping him immobile in her bear hug much to Link’s annoyance.

“You’re goin’ to have to do one better than that or I’ma have you lookin’ like a farmer in no time flat.”  The strawberry haired one giggles yet again, which sets her prisoner to struggling futilely.  “Oh, quit it.  I got you already.  Stop wrinklin’ it.”

“Just let me up.”  Link sounds cranky.  “You win.”

“Aww…you’re a spoiled sport.”  She lets him loose and stands up, backing away to let him up.  “You’re goin’ to look positively handsome but I wanted to have-” 

She stops short as he springs out of the bed and lands on the floor in a three-point stand and darts off like a marathon runner from the starting call.  As he flashes past her he feels petite yet callused and firm hands encircle one of his own and ends up unable to egress being guided into a corner since she wasn’t moving.  While he’s righting himself she bolts back to her post in front of the door.

“Nice trick sugar but you’ll have to get up pretty early to pull one over on this lil’ redhead.”

“The sun isn’t even up yet.”  Link says pointedly.

“I guess that still ain’t early enough, babe.”  She’s got that fiendish smile again.  “As I recall there’s still only one way out and I wonder what you’re gonna do.”

“Whatever it takes to get out of here.”  Link replies, looking around.  “And look what I have!”  Someone is next to a familiar gadget bag and starts rifling through it.  “One way out hmm?”  Now he’s grinning with that disturbing glee.

“If you make another way outta this room you’re gonna be fixin’ it an’ I’ma take after you like-”

“Too early for you to take a joke?”  Link chuckles, putting an unlit explosive back in the sack.  “It’s too bad cause two can play at that game.”

“Just put the thing on.  I promise I won’t say a thing.”

“I promise I’ll be kicking and screaming.”

“Fine, have it your way.  But if I have to do it you’re wearin’ the hat too and I may laugh a little bit.”

Link gulps as the thought is sobering one but sets his mind to get out.  Matching his grim demeanor to her game one he makes his move.  He bounds off the wall and goes for some zigzag footwork.  Malon tries to keep up but he slips her attempt at that and is barreling toward the goal nearly horizontal like a player sliding for home plate.  Out of nowhere she’s in his path having made a slick move of her own and they collide.  She catches him clumsily with a little yelp and there is a brief tussle, which Link is the loser of.  Pinned to the ground at his girlfriend’s mercy he’s wordless.  They’re both breathing hard but he’s dealing with consequences while she’s grinning fit to unhinge her face.

“I don’ wanna tucker you out before work, you give up?”  Malon asks with a smile that puts the Light arrow to shame.  “I’ll give you another go if you want.”

“No, I surrender.”  Link deadpans. 

“Someone should’ve eaten their vegetables.”  She taunts in a singsong voice.

“Do it and get it over with.”  He says grimly, as though condemned to be executed.

So she did as requested.  She dressed him in common farmer’s wear.  He lied a little and didn’t keep his promise to kick and scream.  He just sat there as she finished and pinched his cheek checking out her handiwork.  And she fibbed a bit herself.  She said she’d laugh a little but that turned into more than five minutes that could not help but be wasted.  They got started a bit later than planned that’s for sure.  Before all that though she had a few words that would add to his discomfort, as though it wasn’t bad enough.

“Oh did I mention I saw Impa when I picked that up?”  Malon asks.

“No.”  Link sounds less than happy.  “Oh joy.”

“Don’t be cranky.  But anyway I thought it would be nice to stop by and see those two so when she asked I tol’ her she’d see me around noon tomorrow.”

“So you’re leaving me here?”

“No, silly!  You’re coming with me.”

“…”

“That’s today.”

Link doesn’t say anything.  He’s too busy processing how he’s going to feel walking through Hyrule Castletown dressed like a hillbilly.  He’s ashamed as it is and can’t hear what all doting mushy things she’s saying.  Just bits and pieces filter through about how cute he looks and how Zelda’s going to love it and other stuff of the like.  Morning tasks fly by too fast and they’re heading to the castle with the not so heroic looking hero still in a daze.

At the palace Zelda is sitting in the throne room getting somewhat impatient.  She’s been waiting for her guest to arrive for a half hour now.  Impa is standing next to the mighty chair as always and stroking the agitated princess’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Where is she, Impa?”  Zelda asks.  “You said she’d be here by now.”

“Believe me she will.”  Her retainer replies.  “Malon mentioned something about a surprise.  That may have taken her some time to prepare.”

“Oh.  You could have said something.”  She says wryly.

“I could have.”

“You could’ve done what?”  Asks a familiar voice from across the great room.  “I know I’m bein’ nosy but what?”

“Impa could’ve told me about your surprise.”  The princess explains.  “Instead of let me think you were being late on purpose.”

“She sure could’ve.”  Malon agrees.  “Bad Impa!”  That gets a small smirk out of the shadow sage.  “I’m here so I suppose it’s a bit late now.”

“Well what is it?”  The lawgiver asks as they approach her throne.  “Your father, right?”

“Him?”  Malon asks, gesturing at her companion.  “He’s my surprise, not my pa.  Say somethin’ hon.”

The red overalls-clad person doesn’t say anything at first.  He straightens his posture and takes his thumbs out of his pockets.  As he looks up at the leader of the nation he remembers his side of the deal and gives the hayseed in his mouth an especially hard bite as he adjusts the straw hat to see her better.  “Howdy Zelda.”  He says with a slow smile and the best country drawl he can muster.

“Isn’t he just adorable?”  Malon gushes.  “There’s a reason you dress a certain way on a farm an’ since he’s stayin’ with me now and workin’ he needs to dress the part don’t you think?”

The sheikah chuckles.  “He cuts quite a figure in the jumper I must admit.”

“It’s just precious; someone paint me a picture!”  The scarlet-topped one says, pinching his face yet again.

“Ow, you can stop now.”  Link mentions, rubbing his jaw.  “Unless you want to keep that cheek for yourself.”

“Ooo, I jus’ might.”  She elates, pinching then kissing his cheek.  “But I’d want ‘em both.”  She pinches and kisses his other side in turn for good measure.  “What do you think, Zelda?”

The avatar of wisdom has just spent most of this time picking her jaw up off of her lap.  “He looks so different.”  She breathes.

“Doesn’t he though?  I think he looks cute as a button in it.”  The person in question bobs his head to avoid what could become a bruise on top of his blushing dimples.  “Just perfect.”  She says, pressing the tip of his nose for emphasis.

Gone is the thin-lipped disappointed expression atop a set jaw line.  Instead the beginning of smile lines seem to be tracing their way over his cheeks.  The narrow-eyed calculating stare replaced with an open gaze paired with a smile often enough.  The garb of the Hero of Time along with his gear replaced with the simple denim and suspenders of a farmer.  With a dingy T-shirt chosen over trademark tights you truly wouldn’t know the history-making Hylian if you saw him without a hint.

“The look does suit him in a way.”  Impa admits.

“He’s not what I remember…”  Zelda realizes.  “I…this…”

“You still with us, hon?”  Malon asks apprehensively.  “You got that ‘on my mind’ look again.  You want to talk about it?”

“Oh.  Sorry…”  The royalty sighs as she looks at the color clueless couple that is Link and Malon dressed in red and green overalls respectively.  Seeing it for the reality that it has become as she watches her hero fade away before her very eyes is sobering.  “I was thinking, yes.”

“Mind sharin’ or should I can it?”

“Perhaps you should stop, Malon.”   The princess’s right hand suggests.  “She has a lot on her mind.”

“He’ll never come for me.”  She ruminates.  “That person isn’t the one in front of me.”  The image of an infinitely tough swashbuckling champion sweeping her away grows ever fainter with each passing second.  A humble person no longer content to simply follow the path of heroism is before her and he has someone that accepts that and gives him a place to be accepted for it.  “It’s alright, really Impa.”  Zelda says aloud.  “I was just thinking the same thing.  It does look right on him and they make the cutest mismatched couple…”

“We aren’t makin’ a fashion statement; we work together!”  Malon chides.  “Some of us can’t wear high style all the time.  I bought him that an’ had to twist his arm to get him into it.  If we don’t coordinate oh well.”

“She really did twist my arm…”  Link mumbles.

“Shush, you know I’m havin’ a ball cause you decided to wear that.”

“Decided…”  He snorts.

“Thank you for lettin’ me decide.  How about that?”  A noncommittal grunt is her reply.  “I won fair and square so there.”

“I think he’s upset you clash so badly.”  Zelda kids.  “You did make him wear it.”

“I never said he couldn’t take it off.  He just made a bunch of faces about it.  Like now…”

Link appears to have gained a slight nervous tic in one eye and keeps trying to talk but no sound comes out and his teeth clack shut.  At a loss he pulls his straw hat over his face and groans.  “You…”

“Don’ act so surprised.  I ain’t made a habit of bein’ bossy. Why else you think I love you to pieces for wearin’ that?”  He doesn’t reply, just mumbles into the hat on his head all wrong.  “Thank you honey.”  She says, giving him another peck on the cheek.

“I thought it was because you forced him into looking silly with you wearing opposing colors in public.”

“You never quit do you?”

“Never.  I just like watching you two go at it.”

“Then you shoulda seen us this mornin’.  I beat him hands down.  He wasn’t kiddin’ when he said I twisted his arm, just exaggerating.”

“I took it easy on you!”

“Sure you did, sweetheart.”  Malon says sarcastically with that horizon caliber smile.  “Sure you did.”

“I did!”

“Then that must mean you wanted to wear overalls after all!  Why else would you let me win?”

“Well…”  The two of them go back and forth for a good while.  Zelda watches and becomes contemplative again.

“It does still hurt…but I knew it would.”  The holder of Nayru’s blessing reflects.  “It’s for the better though.  At first it felt like she was rubbing it in my face that she had him but I can see she’s just glad to be with him.  They both look so happy together; it’s as though it really is perfect.”  She sighs inwardly and wistfully bears witness to a portrait of a deep wish crumbling ever quicker.  “And I did lie a little just now…I do quit if it really is something I can’t achieve…”  With the two of them in front of her acting so carefree and content the fantasy shatters with cruel finality as she can feel herself accepting the truth.  “I hope to have something like that someday.”  She thinks as the wisps of her untouchable champion’s likeness vanish like the pipedream that they turned out to be.  “I truly do…”

END